


tria prima

by nettlestingsoup



Series: to fly and to fall [4]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, Nightmares, OT3, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:07:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 40,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25667167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nettlestingsoup/pseuds/nettlestingsoup
Summary: Seungmin's world has been changing recently. Woojin is missing, disappeared from the sky, and Minho has left to search for him, leaving Seungmin behind. At least he's not alone; he has Hyunjin, as always, and Hyunjin has him.As long as they're together, Seungmin thinks he doesn't mind if things change.But a human, fragile and lovely and caught in a darkness that they don't know how to fix, might just tip the scales a little too far against them. Because his visions and nightmares of blood and fear and horror seem to link back to their missing friend, and the crime he committed in fashioning a soul; and as Seungmin and Hyunjin stay, trying to understand and to heal, Seungmin realises that there was always a chance that he could lose Hyunjin, too- along with a human he's only just learning how to want.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Series: to fly and to fall [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1748986
Comments: 44
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm back, as promised, with the final instalment of to fly and to fall. I have a few notes before we begin, but not many.
> 
> 1\. As before, the timeline of this story is simultaneous to the others, so the plotlines will overlap considerably. I hope this story ties any remaining mysteries up!  
> 2\. I have no experience with PTSD, and I'm sure that despite the research I did, there may be some inaccuracies in Jeongin's experience! I'm sorry for these, but I did my best and I hope it's a more accurate portrayal than some. This story also represents a very unfeasible healing time for PTSD, but there is angelic involvement moving things along a little.  
> 3\. Updates every two days.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's read this series so far, and I hope you enjoy this final story <3

Seungmin couldn’t remember exactly how long it had been since he’d been down to earth; it must have been centuries, at least, and it had changed a great deal in that time. Lights had sprung out of the dark as electric cables were strung, bright snakes winding around the globe as roads filled and filled and filled to bursting with cars, the soft darkness of forests and hamlets slowly retreating from the cities that sprawled bigger than ever.

It was a lot to get used to.

"It’s so bright," Hyunjin murmured from beside him. The two of them were crouched in a tree, watching the city from afar, and Seungmin had never been more glad to have Hyunjin at his side. Not that Hyunjin was ever anywhere else; the two of them were inseparable to the degree that neither of them was ever sent anywhere alone these days. Their superiors had long since learned that the other would simply find a way to follow.

So here they were. Together as usual, preparing to meet a human so plagued by nightmares of hollow angels and knife-blades that Heaven had taken notice.

"Heal him," they had been told. "Draw his fear from him. Let it take as long as you need." Seungmin didn’t think they were expected to come back soon. It seemed almost like a distraction technique, a way to keep them occupied so they didn’t think about the recent disappearance of their two friends.

First had been Woojin, vanishing without a trace. Then Minho, vowing in secret to find him after it had been revealed that their companion had created a soul, a privilege reserved only for true divinities. Seungmin and Hyunjin had been left alone. As alone as they ever were, Seungmin corrected. They always had each other, at least.

They would watch the human secretly, they had decided. Hide nearby, and interact with him only when he was sleeping.

So together, they waited for night to fall in earnest; Seungmin almost missed it, so bright was the electric glow of the city, spreading a sickly yellow false daylight out into the forest. But Hyunjin nudged him gently, pointing up to the moon hanging clear in the sky, and together, they took flight.

* * *

The human - Yang Jeongin, Seungmin remembered - wasn’t asleep when they arrived. Crouched silently on the balcony, Seungmin peered in through the window. Jeongin was curled in a ball on his sofa, staring at the opposite wall; his breathing was coming too quickly, eyes blank and distant, and Seungmin felt Hyunjin glance at him uncertainly.

"Is he ok?" he whispered, and Seungmin shook his head.

"I don’t think so. He looks terrified. I suppose we have to wait until he falls asleep to see what he’s so afraid of."

"Angels," Hyunjin replied softly. "He’s afraid of angels." The words fell heavy into the night, Seungmin feeling as though they caught on his wings and weighed them down, and he shook himself a little.

"But we don’t know why," he pointed out. "We can’t help until we know that. And we can’t know until he’s asleep. So come on. Up to the roof."

Silent as owls, the two of them dived from the balcony and wheeled up to the roof. It wasn’t somewhere they could stay permanently, Seungmin thought, but it would do for now. Just until Jeongin fell asleep.

"When did cities get like this?" Hyunjin asked softly, settling his head on Seungmin’s shoulder and folding in his wings. "So… sprawling. So exposed. Where are the trees?"

"There are some over there," Seungmin said, pointing to a little copse that could barely be counted. Hyunjin sighed.

"Humans just can’t leave nature alone, can they?" he murmured.

Seungmin ran his fingertips soothingly over the bones of Hyunjin’s wing, feeling his friend relax against him a little as he did so. "They’re not like us," he pointed out. "They don’t have forever. They feel they have to change things, leave a legacy before their souls are released."

"I suppose so. It makes it a little difficult to keep up, though."

"It does," Seungmin agreed. He wondered how Minho was finding it; this surge of technology and light. He’d always had something of a fascination with human invention.

The two of them sat in silence for a little while, both reaching out to attune their minds to the human still on his sofa and wait for him to fall asleep. Seungmin was attuned to him, anyway; he assumed Hyunjin was. Most of the time the two of them were relatively in sync with their thoughts.

"Do you think Woojin’s ok?" Hyunjin asked softly, and Seungmin’s hand stilled on his wing. Apparently they weren’t thinking about the same things tonight after all. Seungmin resumed stroking Hyunjin’s wings gently, nudging him so that he’d turn and Seungmin could pull free any moulted feathers.

"I think he can look after himself," Seungmin said carefully, listening to Hyunjin sigh gently as he pulled away any itching feathers. "Minho, too."

"What about us?" Hyunjin asked. "Do you think they decided we’ll be ok on our own?"

"We’re not on our own," Seungmin pointed out. "We’re together."

"Yeah," Hyunjin murmured. Seungmin could hear the hints of a smile in his tone. "We are." He sighed happily as Seungmin gently brushed his fingers over the soft down at the base of his wing-bones. "Let me know when you’re done with my wings, I’ll do yours."

"Thanks."

"Any time."

Hyunjin took his time with Seungmin’s wings as usual, taking breaks from pulling moulted feathers to brush his fingertips against the back of Seungmin’s neck until he cringed away, laughing. It was something Hyunjin always did when he dealt with Seungmin’s wings; Seungmin didn’t know when it had started. It was just something that he’d always done. It was just… Hyunjin.

Jeongin didn’t sleep. Dawn began to set a blush over the east, stars fading as the sky lightened and the horizon broke from the push of the sun, and Seungmin frowned as he peered in through the window. Still, he sat on the sofa. He was no longer staring blankly; his hands were now curled into fists in his hair as he sobbed, the sound of it ugly and raw as though he were struggling to breathe. He was shaking like a leaf, and Seungmin noticed this time that he didn’t look as though he’d been eating. The bones of his cheekbones and wrists were too sharp, too clear, the sunrise casting deeper shadows in his cheeks than Seungmin thought it should.

"What happened to you?" he murmured, watching Jeongin squeeze his eyes shut and grit his teeth. Whatever it was, it must have been terrible. He’d never seen a human act quite like this, scared to shaking by every small sound, lost to the outside world. "I hope we can help," he whispered. "I really do."

Returning to Hyunjin on the roof, he shook his head. "We’ll have to come back tomorrow night and hope he’s not completely nocturnal."

"I guess we’ll have to rethink our plans if he is," Hyunjin remarked with a sigh. "Come on. We can use the cloud cover before it burns off."

"Good plan."

They soared high, Seungmin noting how much better his wings felt now that the loose feathers were gone. He was lucky to have Hyunjin to help him with that, even here.

Ducking through the air currents until the foothills of the mountains rose to meet them, they left the city behind.

* * *

The two of them spent the day in the forests of the foothills, just beyond the sprawling grey of the suburbs. They slept in shifts, one always prepared to wake the other if there was any danger of being spotted. Seungmin spent his time awake watching the creatures of the ground, insects crawling and burrowing through the soil. Summer was coming to an end, the days curling in on themselves and growing shorter against the cold, and soon the leaf litter would act as food for everything that crawled, rotting down slowly to flood the soil with new life. Winter would come, and Seungmin would wait. Feel the potential, the seeds chilling in the soil so that they might bloom, life retreating down, ready to burst open again in the spring. It would be beautiful.

As the evening began to descend, a delicate blue veil over the colours of the forest, Hyunjin stirred. Seungmin watched as he opened his eyes and flexed his wings, smiling slightly as he caught sight of Seungmin beside him.

"Is it time to go?" he asked softly and Seungmin nodded, reaching to brush the pine needles from his hair.

The flight didn’t seem to take so long the second time; perhaps they simply knew where they were going better, more attuned to Jeongin’s heartbeat and his moods than they had been. They didn’t even know what sort of person this boy was, Seungmin thought distantly as they settled on his roof. Perhaps they would find out, just from watching as he recovered, as he learned to take up his old life again.

"He’s still awake," Hyunjin murmured.

Seungmin nodded, shaking out his wings a little. They were still stiff from a day curled in the trees, a few pine needles stuck in his feathers. "I’m going to stretch my wings a bit more. You can handle it if he goes to sleep, right?"

"Of course," Hyunjin agreed, nudging Seungmin gently. "Go on, you’ll complain if you’re aching later and I’ll have to deal with it." Seungmin stuck out his tongue briefly, smiling as Hyunjin laughed and tried to catch him by the ankle when he took flight.

He wouldn’t fly far, Seungmin decided. Just a loop back towards the hills, and that would be enough.

It didn’t take him long; he took a few diversions just to follow things he found interesting; there was a patch of magical warding he couldn’t quite decipher, stronger than anything he’d felt on Earth before, and a park that shone with orbs of glass, catching the moonlight and holding it like white opals.

"Is he asleep yet?" he asked as he landed neatly beside Hyunjin.

"Drifting off, I think."

"Good. He didn’t look well last night. Sleep will help."

"I think he needs more than just sleep," Hyunjin murmured. "I had a look through the window and he’s  _ thin _ , Seungmin. I don’t think he’s eating. And he dropped a glass and reacted like it was thunder in the room with him. He’s just… not right." He looked upset, fingers twitching towards Seungmin’s, and Seungmin squeezed his hand.

"That’s why we’re here," he said gently. "Come on. I think he’s fallen asleep."

Seungmin dropped down to the balcony, Hyunjin following close behind, and the two of them peered in through the window. Jeongin had fallen asleep on the sofa, curled at an awkward angle, head hanging back against the backrest; it looked as though it had been the result of sheer exhaustion rather than any desire to rest.

Laying his palm on the window, Seungmin carefully sent a little magical encouragement to the lock, letting the window swing open. He gestured for Hyunjin to close it quickly so that the breeze didn’t disturb Jeongin from his fragile sleep; he’d had nightmares of angels, they had been told. Who knew how he would react if he awoke to find two within his home?

Carefully, Seungmin crept closer as Jeongin shifted and twitched in his sleep; he looked almost feverish, pale and shining with sweat, bones beginning to push at his skin and emphasising the delicacy of his features to the point of seeming grotesque. Seungmin heard Hyunjin whimper softly behind him, overwhelmed by the aura of fear and fragility emanating from him. Slowly, Seungmin reached for his hand, placing his other palm on Jeongin’s forehead. He couldn’t do this without Hyunjin, he decided. Couldn’t soothe this much fear alone.

Jeongin murmured in his sleep as Seungmin touched him, curling into a ball as though to protect himself.

"You’re safe with us," Seungmin whispered as though Jeongin could hear him in his dreams. "We’d never hurt you." Hyunjin squeezed his hand, and Seungmin focused on drawing Jeongin’s fear away, settling him into a deeper, dreamless sleep.

"That’s it," Hyunjin said softly. His voice was a little strained, and Seungmin wasn’t surprised; the remnants of Jeongin’s fear were still settled in his own chest, tying knots there that made it hard to breathe. "He’s resting now. I can feel it."

"We should stay close," Seungmin suggested. "In case he needs us again." Hyunjin nodded his agreement, and together they slipped through the window and climbed carefully back to the roof.

"That was harder than I expected," Hyunjin said once they were settled. "Whatever happened to him was… intense."

"It must have been," Seungmin agreed, resting his head on Hyunjin’s shoulder. "But we’re here. We can help."

"Do you think we should have looked at his dreams?" Hyunjin asked. "Just so we know what we’re dealing with."

"Maybe."

"Tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow night," Seungmin agreed. "To understand what he’s suffered."

Jeongin slept peacefully through the night, still deeply asleep as the sun rose, and Seungmin and Hyunjin left quietly, heading back to the safety of the trees to wait out the day.

* * *

Jeongin seemed a little better the next evening; apparently, a night of deep sleep had done him good. He was still twitching, Seungmin noticed, still scared and distant and  _ wrong _ , but at least he didn’t look quite so exhausted. Hyunjin let out a sigh of relief as he actually curled up in his bed rather than on the sofa, covers pulled up right over his head.

"He’s crying," Seungmin said softly, and Hyunjin nodded.

"At least he’s somewhere safe and comfortable," he pointed out softly, but Seungmin could tell he was more than a little upset by the idea of Jeongin in pain. "He’ll sleep well there."

"Yeah," Seungmin murmured. "He will."

It didn’t take quite so long for Jeongin to fall asleep that night. He cried for a long time, long enough that Hyunjin closed his eyes and pressed his face against Seungmin’s neck, not wanting to process his pain any longer. But eventually, he fell into an uneasy sleep, dark hair poking out from beneath his duvet as he shifted in his dreams.

Hyunjin lifted his head, giving Seungmin a brief nod before he approached the window, opening it as quietly as he could and slipping inside. Seungmin followed, folding his wings tight to fit into the small space, and crouched beside Jeongin’s bed. Hyunjin reached for his hand, and he took it, the warmth of his old friend’s skin soothing him a little.

Jeongin’s dreams swallowed him whole as soon as Hyunjin’s palm met his forehead; Seungmin fought against it for a moment, trying to find coherence in the tide of fractured images until a focus emerged.

Dozens of sets of arms holding him tight, pressing on his ribs and his throat and his lungs; too much fear to struggle, limbs frozen and locked in place as voices whispered in his ear to stay still, stay quiet-

The cold of concrete, sickly scent of iron catching in his throat as waves of red lapped at his feet-

Something impossible at the foot of the stairs, a horror story in one image of mangled wings and crooked, broken limbs, throat wide open and bleeding in an endless stream-

Seungmin released Hyunjin’s hand, stumbling back against a piece of furniture, wings knocking over the pile of books balanced upon it. Hyunjin was in a similar state, fallen to the floor with his wings wrapped around himself, staring at Jeongin in sheer, blank shock.

Because that had been Woojin. That had been  _ Woojin _ in Jeongin’s dreams, wings filthy and bloodied and dragging on the floor behind him, throat slashed and gaping, eyes too wide in sockets hollowed by starvation.

Hyunjin was crying, Seungmin realised vaguely, great gasping sobs that were too loud in the quiet room. Jeongin was stirring, sitting up in bed, and there were two angels in his room, and he’d been having  _ nightmares _ about  _ Woojin _ -

Jeongin didn’t scream when he saw them. He froze in place, staring wide-eyed at Seungmin as he slowly reached out.

"It’s ok," Seungmin managed to say, voice hoarse and shaking. "It’s ok. You’re safe."

Jeongin didn’t respond. He simply kept staring, not making any move to escape or fight. His breathing sped up as Seungmin drew a little closer, intending to send him back to sleep, and Seungmin carefully retreated again.

"Jeongin," he said softly. "We’re here to help with the nightmares. We want to make you better. But-" he broke off, unsure of whether he should be asking this. "The angel you saw. Was he- do you know if he’s alive?"

Hyunjin broke into fresh sobs at the question, and Jeongin twitched, shuffling backwards into the corner of his bed to try to keep both of them within his eyeline. Slowly, Seungmin moved closed to Hyunjin to make it easier for him.

"Please," he said quietly. "If you know- is he alive?"

Jeongin opened his mouth as though to speak, closing it again and shaking his head a few times. Seungmin’s heart dropped, blood turning cold in his veins until he realised Jeongin wasn’t telling him no.

"You’re not real," Jeongin whispered, voice hoarse from lack of use. "You’re- you’re a hallucination. I’m going insane. You can’t be real."

"Jeongin," Seungmin said desperately. "Is he alive?"

He watched Jeongin tremble, face buried in his hands. "This isn’t real," he said again. "This is a hallucination, this is trauma because he was going to kill you, this is- Oh god, this can’t be real, you can’t be  _ real-" _

He fell silent, lapsing back into hyperventilating with his eyes squeezed shut. Seungmin turned to Hyunjin; he just looked hollow, wings wrapped around his own shoulders as a form of comfort. Seungmin knew how he felt. They knew that Woojin had made a soul. Had committed that crime. But they hadn’t known that he had been tortured, that the perpetrator had kept him and starved him and  _ hurt _ him. That he had kidnapped someone, presumably threatened to kill them as a way to make Woojin cooperate. Seungmin could see a wound now, when Jeongin moved his hands away from his face to tug at his hair; a scabbed-over line at Jeongin’s throat, right on his Adam’s apple.

"No wonder Woojin did it," Hyunjin whispered. "If he was hurt. If someone else was hurt, he would have had to, he wouldn’t have had a choice-"

"I know," Seungmin said distantly. "I know." His gaze was still fixed on the cut on Jeongin’s neck; Woojin had been cut in the same place in the nightmare, bleeding out from veins too crucial to be opened. Seungmin felt sick.

"Should we- should we tell someone? That we’ve seen where he is?" Hyunjin asked. "Maybe they could help him, they could save him, they-"

"He’s wanted for a crime, Hyunjin," Seungmin whispered. "They already said they’re going to banish him. They’ve decided, we can’t- bringing him back won’t help him."

"But if he’s hurt-"

"Minho is looking for him. We have to trust Minho," Seungmin said, more to himself than Hyunjin. Minho would find Woojin. Minho would make sure he was safe. "If we- if we act on this at all, they’ll know we’re looking. If we’re not with Jeongin, they’ll know."

Hyunjin sank down a little, shoulders hunching. "So we can’t do anything. We just have to-"

He was interrupted by the dull  _ thud _ of Jeongin’s head against the wall on repeat. "It’s not real," he was whispering to himself. "Come on, wake up, it’s not  _ real _ , it’s all in your head, it’s all-"

Hyunjin cried out faintly, uncurling himself from his corner of the room and stumbling over to Jeongin, holding his head gently in his hands so that he couldn’t hurt himself any more than he already had. Jeongin whimpered, obviously terrified of the angel kneeling beside him on the bed, and Hyunjin turned to Seungmin for a moment, distraught.

"It’s all right," Seungmin heard him say as he turned back to Jeongin. His voice shook, words barely distinguishable from one another. "We won’t let you get hurt. We won’t. We’re real, and we’re here to look after you. I’m going to send you back to sleep now, and we’ll be here in the morning, ok?"

Jeongin sobbed, eyes squeezed shut as Hyunjin laid a gentle hand on his forehead, and Seungmin watched as the tension faded from him and he collapsed gently into Hyunjin’s arms.

"We’ll be here in morning?" Seungmin asked as Hyunjin carefully rearranged Jeongin so that he wouldn’t hurt his neck. "We can’t- we can’t just live in his flat, Hyunjin, we’re supposed to be impartial, keep our distance-"

"We can’t be impartial now," Hyunjin interrupted, voice a little too loud in the quiet of Jeongin’s room. "We have to- we have to prove to him that we’re real. We have to stay until he’s well enough that he knows we’re real."

"What if he doesn’t realise?" Seungmin countered. "What if us being around just convinces him that he’s insane?"

"We have to at least try. He needs more help than just a good night’s sleep, Seungmin. He needs someone to talk to, to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. We have to stay."

Seungmin closed his eyes, thinking of the sickening force with which Jeongin had thrown his head against the wall. Maybe Hyunjin was right. Maybe Jeongin needed them. " Fine," he said. "We’ll stay. But if at any point it looks like we’re making him worse-"

"We leave," Hyunjin agreed. "But we have to try. And maybe…" he hesitated, and Seungmin waited. "Maybe we can find out something about Woojin."

"I don’t think he’ll want to talk about it."

"Maybe not now. But maybe once he gets better.  _ If _ he gets better. I just… if Woojin's alive, Seungmin-"

"Ok," Seungmin agreed tiredly. He didn’t have the strength to argue this now. "Ok." He sighed, patting the carpet next to him, and Hyunjin carefully climbed off Jeongin’s bed to come and sit by him, hand in hand. The contact was comforting, and Seungmin was glad all over again that he didn’t have to do this on his own.

Soothed by the rhythm of Hyunjin’s breathing, Seungmin did his best to relax and clear his mind of the images from Jeongin’s nightmares. At some point, Hyunjin started sobbing softly against his shoulder, and Seungmin held him closer, trying to show Hyunjin that he wasn’t alone. It was all he could think to do. He would hold Hyunjin close while Jeongin slept, he told himself, and wait for what the dawn might bring.

No matter what happened, they would be together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long chapter today! I couldn't find another good place to split it.
> 
> Next update will be Thursday <3

Even with Hyunjin’s assistance, Jeongin had apparently been distressed enough by their appearance in his room that he barely slept until dawn; light was just beginning to touch the sky with milky shades of pink and amber when he stirred, making some slight sound as he awoke. Hyunjin lifted his head off Seungmin’s shoulder, looking at him anxiously, and Seungmin gestured for him to stay silent. He didn’t want to scare Jeongin anymore than they already had.

Slowly, Jeongin sat up, touching his head lightly where he’d hit it the night before. Seungmin felt Hyunjin wince in sympathy, and the slight moment in his periphery attracted Jeongin’s attention.

"Hello," Seungmin said gently. "Do you remember us from last night?"

For a long moment, Jeongin was silent, eyes wide and dull in some hollow, exhausted way. "You weren’t real," he said eventually, and to Seungmin it sounded more like resignation than insistence, as though Jeongin were just too tired to question his own mind anymore. How many false apparitions of angels had he seen, Seungmin wondered, that he was so sure that they were hallucinations?

"We are," Hyunjin said, voice shaking a little. He seemed more affected by this than Seungmin, more sensitive to Jeongin’s suffering. It had always been that way, if Seungmin took the time to consider it, but somehow it was more pronounced than ever as Jeongin stared blankly at them from across the room, bones too close to his skin, pulse visibly flickering close to the cut across his throat. "We are real, Jeongin."

"What… why are you here?" Jeongin asked in a whisper. "Is it because of the other one? I can’t tell you where he is, I don’t know, I don’t-"

"We’re not here to find him," Seungmin said gently. "We’re here to take care of you." Jeongin stared, eyes somehow even wider, and Seungmin’s heart ached with just how  _ young _ he looked. Innocent and afraid, a spring bud touched too soon by a crippling frost. Slowly, Seungmin stood, keeping his wings folded behind him, and approached. Jeongin flinched as he reached out a hand, but let Seungmin touch the side of his head gently.

"You hurt yourself," he said carefully. "There’s a bruise here from yesterday. I’m sorry we scared you. But we’re here to make sure you don’t do this again. We’re here to help you, Jeongin."

Little by little, Hyunjin approached from the foot of the bed, carefully kneeling at Jeongin’s feet. "We can stop your nightmares," he explained softly. "We can help you be less afraid."

Jeongin glanced between the two of them, his skin brushing against Seungmin’s fingertips as he turned his face away. He was colder than he should be, and Seungmin thought about holding him close for a moment.

"This isn’t real," he whispered, and Hyunjin let out a faint sound of despair that had Jeongin flinching away from them again. "I’m hallucinating. I’m too tired, and I haven’t had enough water, and I’ve had a traumatic experience, and I’m hallucinating." The words were so rhythmic, so certain on his tongue, and Seungmin didn’t know what to do with his lack of trust in his own mind.

"Even if we’re not real," Seungmin began, catching Hyunjin glance at him in shock out the corner of his eye, "does it matter? If we’re trying to help you, can’t you let us?"

"I shouldn’t talk to you," Jeongin muttered, avoiding his eyes. "I shouldn’t- Don’t engage with hallucinations. I- I read that, somewhere, you’ll only get more present if I talk to you-"

Hyunjin, evidently growing more distressed by Jeongin’s denial, turned to Seungmin. He was on the verge of tears, Seungmin could tell, and he understood. It was making him feel physically ill, to see someone this way; chipped away into so many pieces, scattered so far that it looked impossible to fix.

"We’ll stay," Seungmin said carefully, speaking both to Hyunjin and Jeongin. "We’ll stay, because we’re real, and we want to help you. If you want to act like we’re not here, we understand. But we’re real, Jeongin. Angels are real, and I understand that you were frightened by one but we will not let you get hurt again."  Jeongin looked up at him, expression one of something like awe, and Seungmin tried to tone down the shine of his wings. It was something Hyunjin and the others had pointed out to him more than once; he shone, when he spoke sincerely. For other angels, it was barely noticeable, but for humans it tended to be more than a little overwhelming.

"We’ll leave you in peace for a moment," he continued, “but we’ll be just outside, all right? If you’re afraid, call us in."

He headed for the window, Hyunjin following his lead a little hesitantly as he climbed out and headed for the roof. " Are you sure it’s a good idea?" Hyunjin asked once they were settled. "To leave him alone?"

"I think he needs time to process us," Seungmin replied. "If we’re there all the time, it’s easier for him to think we’re not real."

"But if we come and go of our own accord," Hyunjin said slowly, "you think he’ll recognise that we’re not in his head?"

Seungmin sighed. "That’s the plan. But I don’t know, Hyunjin. I don’t know how to fix the damage that’s been done here."

Hyunjin reached for his hand, a familiar comfort to them both. "Me neither," he said softly. "But I suppose we just have to try."

* * *

Barely an hour passed before Seungmin felt a wave of fear radiating from the flat beneath them, strong enough that Hyunjin gasped and almost tumbled from the roof, clutching Seungmin’s arm to hold himself steady. Seungmin spent a moment making sure he was safe before he headed for the window, scrambling through to see Jeongin standing frozen in his flat; he was trembling, fingers twitching as though he wanted to reach for something. His breath was coming short in his throat, barely inhaling little gasps of air instead of proper breaths. He looked  _ terrified. _

"Jeongin?" Seungmin asked, lifting his wings to navigate around the flat and stand before him. His fear was so tangible that Hyunjin couldn’t seem to even enter the room, sitting in the window frame looking as though he might be sick for barely a minute before he flitted away back to the roof where he was less visible. "Jeongin, what’s wrong?"

Jeongin didn’t respond. His eyes were distant, wide and unfocused as Seungmin tried to get him to respond. He was barely even blinking.

Carefully, Seungmin reached out for Jeongin’s hand; his palm was sweating, shaking so badly Seungmin could barely grasp it, but he did his best to use the contact to draw the fear away. He could feel it as he pulled it free; the pressure of an arm braced across his chest, the press of a blade against his throat and the slivers of pain there as it broke the skin despite how hard he was trying not to breathe against it, and the fear, so much  _ fear _ -

Jeongin gasped, coming back to himself suddenly enough that Seungmin felt it like a blow to the front of his skull.

"Ow," he muttered, pressing his free hand to his head and closing his eyes for a moment. "Are you ok?" he asked Jeongin. There was no reply, and he opened his eyes to see him pale and sweating, breathing hard as he stared at Seungmin. At least he was looking at him, now. That was something. "Ok, let’s sit down," Seungmin said as soothingly as he could, guiding him back to the sofa. He didn’t resist, simply following as Seungmin tugged gently on his hand.

Jeongin sat down heavily despite Seungmin’s attempts to get him to be careful, almost collapsing as though his knees simply wouldn’t hold him anymore.

"Is he ok?" Hyunjin asked, ducking through the window. He looked a little less pale, at least. Obviously the sickening strength of Jeongin’s fear had faded enough for him to cope.

"I don’t know," Seungmin said softly, not wanting to startle Jeongin. "He had some kind of- an attack, or- I don’t know. He’s not breathing right." Gently, he shifted his hand up to Jeongin’s wrist. "His pulse is far too fast. I don’t like it."

"Ok," Hyunjin said. "Let me help." Circling around the sofa, he made some slight sound on a creaking floorboard and Jeongin jolted, turning to stare at him. "Hey, it’s ok," Hyunjin said, voice gentle and sweet as though he were talking to a stray cat. "It’s ok. I’m coming to help."

Jeongin didn’t stop Hyunjin from taking his other hand, and Seungmin felt his heartbeat slow under the influence of the other angel.

"That’s it," Hyunjin murmured. "Deep breaths." Seungmin watched as Jeongin returned to himself, eyes growing clear and widening as he processed the sight of the two angels before him, each holding one of his hands.

"Don’t panic," Seungmin said slowly. "You’re safe."

"I thought-" Jeongin began, breaking off and squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. "I thought you were gone."

"You were scared, so we came back," Hyunjin explained gently.

"What happened there?" Seungmin asked. "It was like your nightmare, but… different. I could feel it."

Jeongin closed his eyes, breathing slowly. "The- the memory just hits me sometimes," he said in a small voice. "I can’t control it. I don’t know when it’ll happen. I just feel him grab hold of me from behind or I turn around and the angel is there and-" he broke off abruptly, pulling his hands from their grasp. Seungmin felt the loss oddly keenly, the connection he had established between them broken too suddenly. "I shouldn’t be talking to you. You’re not- I shouldn’t be talking to you."

Seungmin held back a sigh. Of course it wouldn’t be that easy. Of course Jeongin wouldn’t suddenly start believing in them. Not after everything he’d been through.

"Ok," he said, patting Jeongin’s knee gently, drawing back his hand when Jeongin tensed at the contact. "We’re going to stay this time, just because we can’t risk going outside so often in daylight. But you don’t have to talk to us, or even acknowledge we’re here." He felt Hyunjin glance at him uncertainly. Seungmin wished he could reassure him that this was the right decision. He wished he could tell  _ himself _ it was the right decision. But realistically, it was their only option. If they kept climbing to and from the roof, they would be seen. And Seungmin didn’t know what came after that.

It was safer to stay indoors, with the boy who didn’t even believe they were real.

The two of them retreated to Jeongin’s bedroom, curling up together on the floor at the foot of the bed. Neither of them had slept in a good while, but it felt somehow invasive to do so on Jeongin’s bed. So Seungmin patted his thigh and Hyunjin smiled slightly at him before he lay down, resting his head there and folding his wings as comfortably as he could in the small space. Seungmin stroked his hair gently, humming an old favourite tune of his until Hyunjin’s breathing evened out. It was good that he could sleep so easily. He needed it.

Seungmin didn’t think it would be so easy when his turn came.

But for now, he could just maintain the rhythm of his hand over Hyunjin’s hair, the familiarity of the sensation as soothing to him as it was to Hyunjin, and wait for the next crisis to arise.

* * *

Jeongin seemed to adjust to Seungmin and Hyunjin’s presence oddly quickly, in a tentative sort of way. He ducked his head into the bedroom a few times as Hyunjin slept as though to check that they were still there. Each time, Seungmin nodded or smiled, and Jeongin would retreat quickly, closing the door loudly enough to make Hyunjin stir in his sleep.

Eventually, he stopped coming in, apparently deciding to be more resolute in his decision not to engage with his supposed hallucinations, and Seungmin was left to think.

He had heard of humans suffering the way Jeongin was; seized and chained by terror, trapped in cycles of horror by their own minds after experiencing something too terrible to process. But to see it… to see it was something different than to know of it. And Seungmin had  _ felt _ it, had felt the bright sting of pain against his throat, the warmth of blood there. The sheer, all-consuming fear. It lingered a little even now, catching in his lungs, poisoning his breath, and the change in the rhythm of his breathing was apparently enough for Hyunjin to feel in his sleep. He stirred in Seungmin’s lap, sitting up and touching his face sleepily.

"Hey," he murmured. "What’s wrong?" Seungmin shook his head and Hyunjin frowned, pressing their foreheads together gently. "Talk to me, Seungmin," he said softly.

Seungmin exhaled a little, trying to find the words. "I think I just- it affected me more than I thought. When I helped take his memories away, I think they- they stuck, a little bit. It’s fine. They’ll fade."

"Share them with me," Hyunjin prompted, placing his palm against Seungmin’s cheek, fingertips brushing the fine hair at his temple. "It’ll be easier if you share them."

Seungmin could feel him pushing gently, trying to draw the pain from him. It was something the two of them had always done; shared their pain, or their memories. It made things easier to bear, if one of them knew that the other truly  _ understood _ . So Seungmin let him take a little of the cold away from his throat, a little of the pressure from his chest where the ghost of an arm held him tight.

Hyunjin shuddered slightly, hand flying to his throat, and Seungmin stroked his hair gently until the shock of it passed.

"How does he manage this?" Hyunjin asked in a whisper. "How does he live with this every day?"

"I don’t know," Seungmin replied honestly. "I just… I don’t know." He shifted, resting his forehead against Hyunjin’s shoulder, relaxing a little as Hyunjin ran his hand over the bones of his wing.

"We’ll help him," Hyunjin promised, and it sounded like he was speaking to himself as much as Seungmin. "He’ll get better."

"He will."

"But for now, it’s your turn to sleep," Hyunjin said gently. "Come on. Let’s swap places."

They circled around each other, Hyunjin sitting with his wings spread and Seungmin’s head in his lap. A wave of exhaustion overtook him now that he lay down, and it took barely five passes of Hyunjin’s hand against his hair for Seungmin to fall asleep.

* * *

A few days passed that way; Jeongin would mostly ignore his two angels, lapsing occasionally into vague conversation with them before retreating frantically into silence. He was oddly anxious, often terrified enough by any slight sound that he would hide beneath the covers of his bed, and attacks like the one he’d had before were unnervingly frequent. On a good day, Seungmin counted, he would have two or three; on a bad day, as many as six, barely finding any reprieve from the horrors his mind insisted on reliving against his will. Seungmin and Hyunjin did their best to help him through them, pulling away the memories and the pain and sharing them quietly between themselves later. They seemed to affect Hyunjin more than they did him, Seungmin noticed, and he did his best to hold back a little when Hyunjin offered to bear some of the weight of it. The nightmares continued, twisted versions of the things he saw and felt during the day; Woojin, screaming and pleading as someone stamped on his wings, begging Jeongin to help him; things wrapping tight around him, holding him until he couldn’t pull air into his lungs, waking up gasping and sobbing and refusing to let Seungmin or Hyunjin touch him. It made Seungmin wonder exactly what had happened; Jeongin’s mind couldn’t seem to agree with itself on a version of events, writing a new narrative around the same themes each night.

Certain things seemed to make Jeongin’s attacks worse, he noticed. He avoided the knives in his kitchen, opting instead to shut the entire knife block in a locked cupboard and eat only the barest portions of food that required no preparation. He had thrown away all his herbs, too, something about them seeming to send him back to his nightmares of bloodied wings in dimly lit basements.

"Is it the smell?" Seungmin asked him gently as he watched Jeongin throw another pot at the bin with shaking hands, missing and twitching as its contents spilled across the floor. "Is that what bothers you?"

"He smelled like that," Jeongin muttered as he tried to sweep up the herbs, apparently not in the mood to try to dispel his supposed hallucinations. "Not like that exactly, but- when he held me I could- I could smell it, and the place he-" He broke off, the heels of his hands pressed to his eyes as though he could hide from the memory of it, and Seungmin carefully took hold of his wrists.

"It’s ok," he said gently, all too aware of just how futile the words were. "Come on, let’s wash your hands, get rid of the smell. Hyunjin can clean up the floor." Jeongin let himself be taken to the kitchen sink, let Seungmin cover his hands with soap and work it gently into a lather. "There we go," he murmured as he held Jeongin’s hands under the tap. "It’s all right now."

Jeongin was silent for a moment, hands still hovering in the sink even as Seungmin released him and turned off the tap. "I wish you were real," he said in a whisper, staring down at the water running off his skin. "You’re so kind."

Seungmin heard a slight clatter as Hyunjin dropped the dustpan and brush he had been using to sweep up the spilled herbs, and wished he could turn around to comfort him; but they were here to help Jeongin, and so Jeongin would take priority just for the moment. "We are real," Seungmin told him carefully. "I promise, Jeongin, we’re real. We’re here to help you."

Jeongin just sighed. The cut on his throat was healing, Seungmin noticed in the silence, the red of it less ugly these days. But it would most likely scar, he thought, always leaving a physical trace of Jeongin’s trauma along with the nightmares that plagued him.

"I shouldn’t talk to you," he mumbled eventually, pushing past Seungmin a little forcefully and shutting the door to the bathroom behind him.

"Do you think he’ll ever believe us?" Hyunjin asked softly after the silence had settled over the flat.

"I don’t know," Seungmin murmured. "I really don’t. Come on, let’s finish cleaning up."

The kitchen floor was spotless by the time Jeongin emerged from the bathroom. He’d been crying, Seungmin could tell, and Hyunjin let out a faint, held-back sound of pain at the sight of his red eyes and streaked skin.

"Jeongin?" Seungmin asked, reaching a hand out towards his shoulder. "Are you all right?"

And Jeongin didn’t say a word.

* * *

The next day, Hyunjin suggested that they clean Jeongin’s flat in earnest; he hadn’t been taking good care of it over the week or so, and while it wasn’t filthy by any means, it could do with a little attention.

The fridge was the worst, food rotting on the shelves, and Seungmin sighed as he cleared it into the bin. Jeongin hadn’t eaten much lately, as far as he’d seen. The softness of his cheeks and arms continued to fade, t-shirts hanging off his shoulders, collarbones as painfully clear as tree roots barely covered by the soil.

"We need to get him some food," Seungmin murmured, and he heard Hyunjin sigh.

"How?" he asked helplessly. "We barely know how this world works anymore. There are no markets, no stalls, no fruit trees lining the streets. We don’t have the faintest idea where to get food in a place like this."

"Well," Seungmin said decisively, "we’ll have to figure it out. He’s dying, at this rate. Starving."

"I know," Hyunjin agreed, sitting back on his heels for a moment and staring into the newly-emptied fridge. "And it terrifies me. But I just don’t know what to do."

"I suppose we can ask him how he’d normally get food," Seungmin suggested.

"If he’ll talk to us today."

"Yeah," Seungmin said, sighing heavily. "If he’ll talk to us."

On their first attempt, Jeongin wouldn’t acknowledge that either of them were there. He had crawled out of bed at about two in the afternoon, heading straight for the bathroom, Hyunjin’s pleas for him to listen falling on deaf ears. It was only once he’d emerged, water beaded on his skin, and slumped down blankly on the sofa that he seemed to let himself notice them.

"Jeongin," Seungmin began softly. "You need to get food. Tell us where you’d normally go, and we can help."

"I can’t go outside," Jeongin said in a small voice, curling in on himself a little. "He might come back, I can’t- I can’t go outside-"

"You don’t have to, petal," Hyunjin murmured, reaching up to stroke his hair gently. Jeongin leaned into the touch a little, and Seungmin’s heart ached. "Just tell us what you normally do, and we’ll sort it out." Jeongin’s ragged breathing started to even out a little, and Seungmin took Jeongin’s hand as he realised what Hyunjin was doing; he was calming him, clearing his mind just a little so that he could think.

"I normally- I normally order food," Jeongin whispered eventually. "But I’d have to go down and get it and I can’t, I  _ can’t _ -"

"Ok," Seungmin soothed. "That’s ok. How about you order food and ask them to leave it outside, and then we can go and get it? How does that sound?"

"But… your wings…" Jeongin murmured. He seemed to have forgotten, for the moment, that he had decided the two of them weren’t real.

"We can deal with that," Hyunjin reassured him. "Just order some food, ok? Do you need that… that flat thing? With the letters on it?"

Jeongin gave a watery smile. Was that the first time they’d seen him smile, Seungmin wondered? He thought it might be. "My laptop," Jeongin clarified, and Hyunjin nodded, darting into Jeongin’s room to find it. Seungmin took over the weight of the calm he’d been working on, holding it steady with Jeongin’s hand in his.

"Make sure you get plenty of food, ok?" he said gently. "Things that will last a long time."

"Yeah," Jeongin said vaguely. "I will."

Hyunjin returned with his laptop soon after, and the two angels did their best to keep Jeongin steady as he clicked through supermarket shelves, arranging a delivery - late in the evening, Hyunjin encouraged, so that they could get it without being seen - and typing out the numbers on a little plastic card he had pulled from his pocket. Seungmin didn’t feel entirely comfortable with manipulating his emotions so completely, but if it was the only way to get him to eat… perhaps it was the right thing to do.

"Ok," Jeongin said softly. "It’ll be here tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Hyunjin asked anxiously. "You need to eat something today, then. Do you have anything?"

"I don’t… I don’t know." Jeongin seemed a little fuzzy now, distant, and Seungmin wondered if perhaps his and Hyunjin’s combined effort had been a little much in terms of calm.

"Stay with him," Hyunjin told Seungmin. "I’m going to the woods. I know what I can find there that humans can eat."

Seungmin nodded, reaching for Hyunjin’s hand and squeezing it gently before he left. Hyunjin smiled down at him, returning the pressure, before he grabbed a tea towel and headed for the window, climbing up onto the balcony railing and taking flight.

"Where did he go?" Jeongin asked blearily. Seungmin moved to kneel on the sofa beside him, gently moving his laptop to a more stable surface.

"He’ll be back soon," he said, stroking Jeongin’s hair back from his forehead. "I promise."

"Ok," Jeongin murmured. He looked like he might be falling asleep in earnest, and Seungmin wasn’t sure how much of it was his and Hyunjin’s influence as opposed to malnutrition and exhaustion; Jeongin had been plagued by terrors the night before, waking up often enough that Seungmin had resorted simply to sitting beside his bed for the entire night. Hyunjin had stayed in the living room, unable to bear the sheer intensity of fear rolling off him like a toxic cloud.

Jeongin had already fallen asleep when Hyunjin returned. Seungmin was keeping a close eye on his dreams, trying to prevent them from straying into nightmares without exerting unnecessary amounts of control over them. It worried him a little that they might simply be sedating him rather than helping him heal; perhaps they had to let him hurt a little in order for him to get better. But the sheer, unrelenting horror of the flashbacks wasn’t something Seungmin wanted Jeongin to go through. The constant fear, reacting to every slight sound, refusing to go outside for fear that he would be taken back to a dimly-lit room housing a broken, bloodied angel- Seungmin could hardly stand the idea that Jeongin would have to suffer that even slightly in order to heal.

"Hey," Hyunjin said softly as he climbed back through the window, a makeshift bundle made from the tea towel held in one hand. "Is he ok?"

"He fell asleep," Seungmin whispered. "Do you think we should wake him up to eat?"

Hyunjin bit his lip thoughtfully. "We can wait a little while. He didn’t sleep well last night, did he?"

"No, he didn't. Sit with me, we can stay with him while he rests."

Hyunjin carefully placed the bundle down on the coffee table, one corner of the cloth unfolding a little to reveal the jewel-shine of blackberries and the smooth sepia of hazelnuts within.

"It was all I could find that I knew humans would eat," he said softly, curling up on the other side of Jeongin, wings lifted over the back of the sofa.

"I’m sure he’ll appreciate it," Seungmin reassured him, and Hyunjin responded with the faintest of smiles. "I’m glad you’re here," Seungmin said softly. "With me."

"I’m glad, too," Hyunjin agreed. "This would be a lot to handle alone."

"But we’re not."

"No. We’re not."

Jeongin shifted in his sleep, frowning, and the two of them lapsed into silence; Hyunjin settled his hand in Jeongin’s hair again, careful and kind, the lank strands of it clinging to each other in clumps. It must have been a while since he washed it, Seungmin supposed. Perhaps they could convince him to at some point, help him if he needed them to.

But for now, Seungmin thought, they would wait for him to wake. They would hope that he’d speak to them when he did. And until then, Seungmin would just watch Hyunjin; his best friend, his companion through endless centuries, soothing a quiet and broken human as he slept.

* * *

Jeongin slept for around another two hours. Hyunjin had dozed off too in that time, and was curled in a ball with his cheek resting on the back of the sofa. Seungmin, if he cared to admit it, was just as much in need of a rest, but he was content to watch over the others for a little while. He could sleep later.

He felt the sofa shift as Jeongin started upright, breathing hard, and Seungmin cursed himself that he’d gotten so distracted by his own exhaustion that he hadn’t been focused on Jeongin’s dreams.

"Hey," he murmured, laying a hand carefully on Jeongin’s cheek. "Hey, it’s ok. Look at me. You’re safe."

He watched Jeongin’s eyes soften a little, the wildness fading from them, and Seungmin steeled himself as he drew a little more fear away. The last of the nightmare remained, the sensation of a hundred blades against his skin, Woojin holding one of them in an emaciated fist, and Seungmin closed his eyes against it.

When he opened them again, Jeongin was staring at him. "How do you do that?" he asked quietly. "How do you- you make me less afraid. He does it too, the- the other- the other angel. How?"

"We can draw emotions into ourselves," Seungmin explained carefully. "And we were sent here to help you, Jeongin. To heal you. And until things are a little more manageable for you, this is the best we know how to do."

"It helps," Jeongin whispered. "I feel better when you do it, even if it doesn’t last long."

Seungmin did his best to smile, and Jeongin smiled tentatively back. "I’m glad. Here, Hyunjin got you some food."

"He- what?"

Seungmin reached over, unfolding the little bundle fully. "We know you have food arriving tomorrow, but you just… you haven’t been eating, Jeongin. And we’re worried. So Hyunjin got these."

Slowly, Jeongin picked up a blackberry, holding it up to the light. "This is really real, isn’t it?" he asked softly, and Seungmin nodded carefully. "I really thought I was imagining you. But this…" he placed the berry on his tongue, expression shifting as it burst in his mouth. "I can’t be imagining this. This.... you’re real, aren’t you?"

"Yes," Seungmin told him, holding back a smile. "We are. And we’re going to take care of you."

"What… what’s your name?" Jeongin asked hesitantly.

"Seungmin. My friend is Hyunjin."

"They don’t seem like very angelic names."

"A name is a name. Divinity is in the aspect, not the designation."

Jeongin smiled a little. "Now you sound like an angel," he said softly. He paused. "You said- the angel I saw. You said he was your friend. Is that… is that why you were sent?"

"We didn’t know it was Woojin at first. We were told that you were having nightmares about angels, and that we were to fix it. But we saw your dreams, and…" Seungmin hesitated. "We realised it was him."

"Have you told someone? So they can save him?"

"We can’t," Seungmin explained gently. "In making a soul for your kidnapper, he broke a divine law. He can never return home now, and to reveal his location… we just can’t. We can’t betray him. He’s our best friend."

"The man who-" Jeongin stopped, closing his eyes briefly, and Seungmin took his hand, doing his best to pull Jeongin’s fear into himself as subtly as possible. "He didn’t have a soul?"

"I can see no other reason why he would need an angel to make him one. In which case... he may be different now. He will be a changed man, with a soul in place where there was none."

"Do you think that excuses what he did?" Jeongin asked in a whisper. "Not having a soul?"

"I don’t know," Seungmin said carefully. "That depends, I suppose, on the circumstances in which he lost it, and how he acts now he has a new one."

"A new soul," Jeongin said, barely audible, staring at a point in space Seungmin couldn’t identify. "Would I- would I be able to forget what happened? If you made me a new soul?"

Seungmin felt the ache in his chest swell as though it were trying to reach out, wrap Jeongin up in an embrace so tight he would always feel safe. "No, Jeongin," he managed to say. "It wouldn’t make you forget."

Hyunjin awoke then, some combination of their pain disturbing his sleep, and he murmured as he reached over Jeongin to Seungmin’s hand. "What’s wrong? You’re sad."

"We were just talking about some sad things," Seungmin explained gently. "It’s all right, Hyunjin."

Jeongin’s eyes widened. "You can- you can read each other’s minds?"

"Not exactly," Seungmin told him. "He and I have been together for a long time now. We know each other well enough to feel what the other feels."

"That’s- oh," Jeongin said. He looked a little dizzy. Perhaps this had been too much information in one go.

"I brought you food," Hyunjin mumbled. He was still half asleep, drifting away again now that Seungmin had reassured him nothing was seriously wrong. "You should eat. You need to eat." Jeongin obediently reached for a hazelnut, examining it for a moment before chewing it slowly.

"I’ve never eaten hazelnuts like this before," he remarked softly, and Hyunjin frowned sleepily.

"‘s it good?" he asked, and Jeongin nodded. Apparently satisfied, Hyunjin closed his eyes properly, resting his head lightly on Jeongin’s shoulder.

"There are no fruit trees in the city," Seungmin explained softly. "He found what he could."

"Thank you," Jeongin said. "I ordered food, didn’t I? I remember doing that." His expression fell. "But I won’t be able to go and get it."

"We’ll take care of that," Seungmin reassured him.

"How?" Jeongin asked. "You’re not… you’re not inconspicuous." He tilted his head a little, staring at Seungmin’s wings in wonder.

"With the help of another angel, it’s possible to hide them," Seungmin explained. "We’ve done it before. One of us will stay here with you and the other can go and get the food with his wings hidden."

Jeongin’s face crumpled a little. "I’m sorry," he whispered. "For causing you so much trouble."

"Jeongin, no," Seungmin said, reaching to cup his cheek gently. "This isn’t trouble for us. You’re hurt, and I’m happy that we’re able to help heal you. If helping you get food is part of that, then Hyunjin and I don’t mind. We’ll do it until you’re able to do it yourself."

"What if I never can?" Jeongin asked. "What if I never get better?"

"You will, Jeongin. Have faith in us, and in yourself. You will heal." Jeongin’s eyes widened as he spoke, and Seungmin realised that his wings were shining a little.

Jeongin spoke before he could apologise. "You’re so beautiful," he whispered. "How can you be so beautiful and still be real?"

"Eat," was all Seungmin could think to say in response. "Please. I can give you a dreamless sleep afterwards, if you’d like."

Jeongin nodded slowly, and Seungmin sat in silence as he slowly ate the rest of the blackberries and hazelnuts Hyunjin had provided. Gently, Seungmin lifted Hyunjin’s head so that Jeongin could move, waiting patiently until he was finished in the bathroom.

"I’ll have to stay with you if I want to make sure you don’t dream," Seungmin explained. "Is that all right?"

"Yeah," Jeongin agreed as he climbed into bed. "That’s fine." He curled up facing Seungmin as he lay on top of the covers on the other half of the bed, eyes wide and reflecting, faintly, the light of Seungmin’s wings.

"Ok," Seungmin murmured, stroking a stray strand of hair from Jeongin’s forehead. "Just relax. You’re safe."

Jeongin drifted off not long after, breathing settling into a gentle rhythm, and Seungmin stayed by his side until long past dawn.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter comes with a warning for a kind of intense PTSD flashback!
> 
> Thank you for reading, and please leave comments or kudos if you enjoy this story <3

Hyunjin and Seungmin spent most of the day practising hiding Hyunjin’s wings so that he could head down and collect the food delivery later in the day. It had been a great many years since either of them had needed to pretend to be mortal, and they were a little out of practice. But by the sixth time, they had it, Hyunjin’s wings staying invisible as Seungmin released his hand and stepped away. He looked so human like this, Seungmin remembered; perhaps uncommonly lovely, or radiating a kind of peace most humans never achieved, but… human.

Jeongin watched the whole process with utter fascination, eyes wide as Hyunjin’s wings faded back into the room as a candle might slowly illuminate a space. Seungmin was glad he was distracted; the early morning had been hard for him, flashbacks and irrational panic coming one after the other and knocking Jeongin down hard enough that he hadn’t spoken for an hour, even after Hyunjin had drawn his fear from him, the sensation of the knife at his neck fading. For a moment, Seungmin had been afraid that they had lost all their progress, Jeongin refusing again to believe that they were real. But it had passed, Jeongin tentatively curling against Hyunjin’s side when he was held, and Seungmin had breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t sure what he would do if Jeongin started to shut them out again.

The delivery arrived just before the light began to fade from the sky. Jeongin jumped as his phone rang, curling into himself and covering his ears, and Hyunjin and Seungmin just looked at each other, at a loss for what to do. Neither of them had ever used human technology like this before.

Hesitantly, Seungmin tapped the green button on the screen. Green had to be good. It often was, at least.

"Hello? Delivery," a voice rang out, oddly distant and distorted.

"Um- thank you," Seungmin said uncertainly, mouth close to the screen. "We’ll be right down."

The person on the other end finished the conversation, the screen returning to a photograph of Jeongin and another, freckled boy, both smiling brightly. As quickly as he could, Seungmin helped Hyunjin hide his wings, closing his eyes to maintain focus as Hyunjin clattered down the stairs as quickly as he could. Jeongin had walked them through this; out the door, to the left, and down until you reached the glass doors. They would open automatically, so don’t be scared by that.

Seungmin breathed slowly, focusing on keeping Hyunjin steady. Realistically, he was only doing half the work of hiding his wings, but the strain was a little more given that Hyunjin kept getting further away. He kept his focus, feeling Hyunjin’s strength work with his own. He was almost to the bottom of the stairs now. They could do this.

The wave of fear hit him without warning. Seungmin lost himself in it for a moment, mind clouding with it, Hyunjin slipping away from him until Seungmin felt him stop on the stairs, reaching out and holding him tight. Jeongin, he realised. It was Jeongin who was afraid, not him.

_ Not now _ , Seungmin thought desperately, waiting for the bright spark of pain from a knife, pressure crushing his ribs as he was held.

It didn’t come.

Slowly, Seungmin opened his eyes, trying to hold Hyunjin steady. He had started moving again, descending the final flight of stairs. Seungmin didn’t have to hold on for long.

And he saw it. The thing that was making Jeongin so afraid, paralysing him utterly, setting his breath stuttering like a candle flame in his lungs. Seungmin was in tune enough with his attacks by now that he could see it clearly, every detail sharp enough to make him want to vomit.

Because there, across the room, wings hanging limp from his back, reaching out with one bruised, emaciated hand, was Woojin.

Compared to the last time Seungmin had seen him, he was barely recognisable. Seungmin had never seen an angel as thin as he was, twisted rib cage clear beneath his skin, the rasp of his breath implying that some part of it was pressing into his lung; his chest and shoulders were mottled with bruises and scrapes that looked as though they might be infected, shade of red far too bright for the dull, faded tone of his skin. Woojin had been  _ glowing _ the last Seungmin saw. Golden and lovely and smiling.

Seungmin tried to avoid looking at his wings. He could tell from the angle of them, the way they draped awkwardly on Jeongin’s kitchen floor, that they had been dislocated from their sockets; the feathers were dirty and crumpled, stained with dust and blood, and the sight of them just made Seungmin  _ sick _ .

"Jeongin," he said, voice shaking despite how hard he tried to steady it. "Jeongin, he’s not real. It’s ok." He was reassuring himself as much as Jeongin, he realised, doing his best to hold himself together for Hyunjin’s sake. He had paused at the bottom of the building now, presumably collecting the food.

Woojin shifted, reaching out a little further, eyes hollow and imploring, and Seungmin felt his control waver. He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t hold Hyunjin’s wings and Jeongin’s fear all with the image of his tortured friend before him, reaching and starving and desperate.

"Let him go," Woojin rasped out, and the weakness in his voice cut Seungmin to the bone.

Hyunjin reached the first floor. Seungmin tried to steady his breathing, but ended up sobbing slightly, despair taking the air from him. He felt Hyunjin speed up.

Jeongin was crying now, he realised, painful, helpless tears as he curled himself into a ball in the corner away from Woojin’s reaching hand.

Seungmin’s focus on Hyunjin’s wings faltered-

"I’ll do it," Woojin said, voice cracked and small. "Let him go, and I swear to you I’ll do it."

And failed.

Seungmin collapsed to the floor, losing track of both Hyunjin and Jeongin for a moment as he reeled, trying to find something to cling to. There was nothing. Nothing but Jeongin’s panicked sobs, high-pitched and vulnerable as a child’s, and Woojin on his knees, reaching out with his one good hand, the other arm hanging limp and broken by his side-

Hyunjin burst through the door, wings in full view, dropping the shopping bags haphazardly by the sofa as he rushed to Seungmin’s side, holding him close and letting him sob against his collarbone, clinging tight.

"Woojin," he managed to say. "It was  _ Woojin _ , Hyunjin, it-"

"It’s ok," Hyunjin said, voice tight with pain. He was pulling the fear away, Seungmin realised, too fast for himself to cope with, too much for him to bear.

"Hyunjin- stop. Hyunjin-" Seungmin did his best to push him away, faltering when he realised that Hyunjin was in tears too, now, running down his cheeks and neck. "Jeongin," he managed to mumble. "We need to- Jeongin."

"Stay here," Hyunjin told him weakly, and Seungmin watched as he crawled across the floor to Jeongin, taking the human in his arms and holding him close, rocking him back and forth as he cried. Little by little, the fear faded from the room, and when Seungmin looked up, Woojin was gone. Seungmin let his head fall back against the sofa, exhausted down to his bones. That had been too much. That had been too much at once for any of them to cope with.

But it was over for now, he thought to himself as he watched Jeongin cling desperately to Hyunjin as the angel stroked his hair. There was no telling whether Jeongin would see Woojin like that again, there in the room with him without warning.

But for now, it was over.

* * *

An hour passed before any of them felt strong enough to put away the shopping. Seungmin was the first to make his way unsteadily over to the bags, throwing everything he thought might rot or simply wasn’t sure of into the fridge. Jeongin watched him a little distantly, seeming torn between wanting to help and wanting to remain in the safety of Hyunjin’s arms, the angel’s cheek resting on his hair. Eventually, though, he did extricate himself from the embrace, slowly crossing the room to help. Little by little, they emptied the bags, and Seungmin waited for the words he could feel forming on Jeongin’s tongue.

"I’m sorry," he whispered eventually.

"For what?" Seungmin asked.

"For making you see your friend. It was my fault you had to see that."

"Jeongin, no," Seungmin told him gently, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder. "This isn’t- you’re not to blame for this. You don’t want to see these images, you don’t conjure them yourself, you- you’re not to blame. Neither of us resent you for anything we’ve seen or felt through you, Jeongin."

"I just- you’re here to help me," Jeongin insisted, fresh tears welling up in his eyes, "and I hurt you. I can tell it hurts you when you make it better for me."

Seungmin’s heart sank. He hadn’t realised that Jeongin had noticed how badly it affected them; with the vision of Woojin, of course, it had been unavoidable, but before that…

"It’s not too much for us," Seungmin promised quietly. "And we choose to do it, Jeongin. The burden is less when shared between the three of us. Together, we can manage it. We’d rather that than you suffer with it alone."

He stepped closer, opening his arms, and Jeongin shuffled into his embrace, bending his back to make himself small enough to fit. Seungmin unfolded one of his wings a little, sweeping it round so that it held Jeongin close and safe. " You’ll be ok," he promised. "You’ll be ok."

"I should have helped him," Jeongin said in a small voice. "I should have- called the police, or something. But I thought they’d think I was mad. So your friend might be dead. And it’s my fault."

Seungmin swallowed, doing his best not to cry. "No," he managed to say. "Nothing about this is your fault, Jeongin. None of it. You owe us no guilt."

"We should finish putting the shopping away," Jeongin mumbled against his neck after a long moment, and Seungmin reluctantly let him go. Somehow, he didn’t think that was the last time they would have that conversation.

Jeongin disappeared into his room once they were done, closing the door behind him with an air of finality, and when Hyunjin tried to enter upon hearing the sound of quiet sobs within, Seungmin held him back.

"I think he wants to be by himself for a little while," he said gently, taking Hyunjin’s hand when his face crumpled at the idea of leaving Jeongin to suffer alone. "Come on. You have some feathers that need taking out."

Hyunjin obediently sat still, kneeling on the sofa with his wings raised, while Seungmin tended to them, singing softly as he did so. He made sure to be careful, running his hand gently over the primary bone in a way that had always seemed to make Hyunjin a little calmer as he searched for loose feathers. Judging from the way Hyunjin’s posture relaxed, it was working.

"Do you think we should try to find Minho?" Hyunjin asked him softly as his fingertips brushed over the down at the base of his wing. "If he’s looking for Woojin, we could ask him to contact us once he’s found him."

"I don’t know if that’s a good idea," Seungmin murmured. "I think the more we know about Woojin, the more easily he’ll be found by someone who isn’t Minho."

"But- they wouldn’t hurt him," Hyunjin said weakly. "You know they wouldn’t hurt him."

"I do. But I just… I don’t want to involve them, Hyunjin. Not when they’re so blind to circumstance. Not when they’ve decided on a punishment without even hearing why he broke the law."

"They won’t change their minds, will they?" Hyunjin said softly after a long silence. "I thought- I thought maybe if Woojin had a chance to explain himself, they’d change their minds. But they won’t."

"No," Seungmin agreed heavily. "I don’t think they will." Hyunjin didn’t reply to that. "Perhaps we should scry for Minho, though," Seungmin suggested. "In case we need him for something else. It’s always nice to know if our friends are close by."

"Yeah," Hyunjin agreed distantly. He seemed a little disappointed, and Seungmin wished that he knew how to help.  _ I don’t like it either, _ he wanted to say.  _ I don’t like leaving our friend in the hands of someone who hurt him. But we have to trust him, and trust that Minho will find him. _

"Come on," Seungmin said as encouragingly as he could. "Let’s find a bowl."

It didn’t take them long to set up a scrying mirror; it perhaps wouldn’t be the most accurate, Seungmin thought, looking at the slightly wonky basin they’d chosen, but it would do. Carefully, he rested his palms over the water and focused on Minho; the shine of his eyes, the shape of his smile, the tone of his voice. He felt Hyunjin do the same, and resisted the urge to open his eyes just yet. Hyunjin looked beautiful when he did magic, and Seungmin always loved to watch him.

But not today. Today, he had to focus on Minho.

He felt it as soon as their focus paid off, bright as a breeze flooding in through an open window. Slowly, Seungmin opened his eyes and moved his palms to rest on the table, staring into the water. And there was Minho, sitting on an old, worn out sofa in a tiny little room, wings shifting animatedly as he talked to someone. A human, Seungmin felt. There was a human with him, showing him things on the screen of his phone that made Minho laugh out loud with delight. He could feel the joy of it radiating through the water.

"He’s close," Hyunjin said softly. "I can feel it, he’s not far from here. Within the same city."

That made sense, Seungmin thought. If Woojin was here, so would Minho be. He redirected his focus, trying to zoom out of the image and see exactly where this human lived. He found an apartment building, fairly close to the busy centre of the city, a fire escape mottled in black paint and rust climbing up the side. It was closer than either of them had suspected. Seungmin lifted his gaze to Hyunjin just as the light drew back from the water and into his skin, travelling up his veins in streams of silver and lighting up his eyes for a moment until it faded.

"He’s safe," Seungmin said quietly. "He’s found somewhere safe."

Hyunjin nodded, but was apparently distracted by something behind Seungmin before he could reply; Seungmin turned to see Jeongin, standing in the doorway of his bedroom, eyes wide and shining in the remnants of the light.

"What are you doing?" he asked in a whisper.

"We were looking for our friend Minho," Hyunjin explained, crossing the room to gently take hold of Jeongin’s wrists and pull him over to the bowl. "It’s called scrying. We can show you, if you want."

"You mean- I could-?"

"If one of us helps you," Hyunjin told him gently. "Most humans can’t do it on their own."

"I could look for anyone?"

"You could," Seungmin clarified, and Jeongin’s eyes widened even further.

"Come on," Hyunjin said gently, giving him a reassuring smile. "Lay your palms over the bowl, but don’t touch the water- there you go. That’s it, petal."

Seungmin stepped back a little, giving them space. Jeongin listened uncertainly as Hyunjin explained what to do, how to focus on the person he wanted to find.

"I won’t be able to focus on them if it’s someone I don’t know," he explained carefully, "but I can help you. Just trust me."

"Ok," Jeongin said quietly. "I trust you."

"Then close your eyes, and focus on the person you want to find," Hyunjin told him, laying his hands in a mirror of Jeongin’s just as he had with Seungmin. Jeongin twitched a little at the slight contact of their fingertips, and Hyunjin hummed soothingly. Hesitantly, Jeongin closed his eyes.

Seungmin watched as the light rose in Hyunjin’s skin again, seeming to flow down from his wings to the water, casting his features in perfect, statuesque shadow as the bowl began to glow. Jeongin exhaled shakily, and little by little, some of the same glow began to form in his hands. Seungmin wasn’t sure what to make of that; it implied, in a vague way, that Jeongin had some kind of natural affinity for magic. Perhaps, if trained, he’d be able to work it on his own.

"Ok," Hyunjin said gently. "Open your eyes, and look into the bowl."

Jeongin did as he was told, eyes widening as he moved his hands away and stared down. "I can- I see him," he said, voice bright with surprise. "I- that’s Felix."

"Felix?" Hyunjin prompted.

"My best friend. He lives a few cities away, but he’s moving back here… look, that must be his new flat…" Jeongin’s voice trailed off, and the glow retreated back into his fingertips as his focus faded. "He’s been texting me," he whispered. "I haven’t been replying."

"If he’s a good friend, he’ll wait for you," Seungmin pointed out, and Jeongin nodded ever so slightly.

"I hope so," he murmured. He appeared to shake himself then, taking a step away from the table and the bowl. "I was- I was going to make food. Do you- I don’t know if you need to eat-"

Hyunjin shook his head gently. "We’re all right. We sing to each other, and we’ll be fine."

"Oh," Jeongin said quietly. "Is it ok if I- you don’t mind if I eat?"

"Please, Jeongin," Seungmin replied patiently. "You need to look after yourself. We’re happy that you’re eating again."

"...Ok."

Jeongin ate slowly once he’d finished preparing his food, chewing every mouthful for longer than seemed necessary to Seungmin. It was a good thing, he told himself, that Jeongin was being careful. He’d most likely be sick if he ate too fast after a week of almost starving himself. What would he look like, Seungmin wondered, when his features filled out again? They must have been sharp to begin with to be so prominent now, bones as delicate as a bird’s. He’d be quite lovely, Seungmin decided, when he didn’t look so haunted. They’d see that one day, he promised himself.

He knew they would.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A soft chapter today, featuring several references to Felix's story!
> 
> Next update Monday <3

The next four days passed, to some degree, uneventfully. Jeongin’s flashbacks continued even as he slept better and began to gain a little weight, Hyunjin and Seungmin coaxing him gently through them. Mostly, to Seungmin’s relief, Jeongin felt that same pressure- someone holding him too tight, a blade at his throat. But sometimes, Woojin would appear again, broken and battered and too awful for Seungmin to look at. All of them struggled with those visions. Jeongin would turn helpless as a child, sobbing and refusing to eat for the rest of the day, not sleeping until one of the angels held him; Hyunjin would go quiet and pale, looking as though he would faint. And Seungmin… Seungmin just didn’t know how to cope with the weight of despair that came along with the image of his friend, starved and broken, when there was nothing that he could do to save him.

It was after such a flashback that Seungmin decided he needed to stretch his wings; it was less of a decision than a compulsion, a desperate need to escape the confines of a space so filled with fear.

"I’ll come back soon," he promised Hyunjin, holding him close for a moment. Jeongin was asleep on the sofa, a blanket laid carefully over him and a cushion tucked under his head. It had been difficult to get him to feel calm enough that he could sleep, but sheer exhaustion had taken over in the end.

"Ok," Hyunjin said quietly. "I’ll be here." Seungmin pulled back for a moment, pressing their foreheads together for a moment.

"I’ll take over looking after him when I get back, ok? You can get some sleep. You need it."

"So do you."

"I know. But I need to fly more."

"Go on, then." Hyunjin pushed him gently towards the window, offering him a weak smile. Seungmin saw right through it, but he understood that Hyunjin’s effort to pretend that he was fine was as much for himself as it was for Seungmin.

The night air against his wings was  _ bliss _ . It had been nearly two weeks since he’d flown, Seungmin realised; no wonder he was aching, muscles stiff from lack of use. He stood on the roof for a moment, wings spread out to reacquaint his lower shoulder blades with the effort of keeping them elevated. Once he felt that the moment was right, he stepped delicately along the peak of the roof, looking out over the city. He’d do a loop out to the foothills of the mountains and back, he decided. Nothing too strenuous.

Feet lightly leaving the roof, Seungmin took flight. He thought about rising above the clouds, above the worst of the pollution and the dust, but hesitated as he realised he’d miss the lights of the city that way. He’d rather see them, he decided. He wanted to see what mankind had built for themselves in the centuries since he’d looked.

Below him, people passed through the streets, dipping through patches of light and darkness as they moved from streetlight to streetlight. There was safety in illumination, Seungmin thought. Just as they had once lit fires to scare away the wolves, now they ran their lives on captured lightning, pushing away the night with it.

One of them, he noticed, appeared to be running almost directly beneath him, turning when he turned, glancing up at the sky from time to time. Perhaps he had been seen. Seungmin shifted his wings a little, speeding up as he glided towards the mountains. It didn’t particularly matter, he told himself, if one human saw him. They wouldn’t believe their own eyes.

The rest of his flight was uneventful, and he returned to Jeongin’s flat after barely half an hour.

"Feel better?" Hyunjin asked.

"Fantastic, actually," Seungmin told him. "You should go tomorrow night."

"I’d rather stay with him," Hyunjin murmured, brushing a strand of hair from Jeongin’s forehead. "I want to make sure he’s safe."

"Do you not trust me to do that?"

"Of course I do. But I just…"

"You care about him," Seungmin finished softly. "I know. I understand. You always did have the softest heart."

"Is that a bad thing?" Hyunjin asked.

"No," Seungmin murmured, reaching for his hand. "It’s wonderful. It’s you." Hyunjin simply smiled in response, and Seungmin squeezed his hand. "Come on. Sleep."

Hyunjin curled up on the sofa by Jeongin’s head, wings folded in a way that didn’t look entirely comfortable, and softly, one hand running over his feathers, Seungmin sang him to sleep. Lulled by the rhythm of his and Jeongin’s breathing, he followed soon after.

* * *

A jolt of panic woke him, and it took Seungmin a long, trembling moment to realise it wasn’t his own. Hyunjin realised faster, already uncurling himself from the little ball he’d slept in and climbing over the back of the sofa to reach Jeongin’s room. Seungmin closed his eyes and sighed for a moment. Hyunjin had dealt with all of Jeongin’s nightmares the night before, eventually helping him off the sofa and into his own bed so that he could sleep more comfortably, and Seungmin didn’t think his friend had slept much at all.

"Jeongin?" he heard Hyunjin calling softly. "Hey, it’s ok. Come here, petal. It’s ok."

Hyunjin was holding Jeongin when Seungmin walked in, the human sobbing in his arms as he came back to reality. That one had been shorter than usual, if no easier for Jeongin to bear.

"What was it this time?" Seungmin asked softly, crouching down to stroke his hair gently.

"Something different," Hyunjin replied for him. "Something- I don’t know. I could feel fresh air like we were outside, and there were- footsteps-" he closed his eyes, exhaling slowly to try to calm himself as Jeongin’s sobs faded into quiet, tearful whimpers. "I don’t know what it was."

"Jeongin?" Seungmin asked quietly, and Hyunjin glanced at him in warning. "Jeongin. I know you’re scared. I know now isn’t the best time, so… you don’t have to tell us now. But at some point, I think… I think it would be helpful if you could tell us exactly what happened."

"It doesn’t have to be right now," Hyunjin reiterated. "Not even today. Just… when you’re ready. If you can."

Jeongin only gave the slightest of nods in reply, still curled up like a child in Hyunjin’s arms, and the look Hyunjin gave Seungmin told him not to ask again.

"What’s going to make you feel better?" Hyunjin asked softly. "Is there anything we can do apart from sit with you?"

"I might put a film on," Jeongin murmured after a moment. "In a bit."

"Ok," Hyunjin agreed. "We’ll wait until you feel better." He glanced up at Seungmin.  _ Film? _ he mouthed, and Seungmin shrugged. He didn’t know either.

They waited nearly an hour to find out. Helping Jeongin pull his duvet from his bed, they followed him to the sofa, watching as he inserted a flat disc into the box underneath the large screen there. Momentarily, the screen flared into life, and Seungmin watched in wonder as images ran across it. He heard Hyunjin gasp as music began to play, and Jeongin gave a tiny smile at the sight of the two of them. Seungmin made sure to play up his reactions after that, realising that Jeongin took joy in their wonder.

"So- that boy. He can do magic?" Hyunjin asked hesitantly as they watched. The volume of the television - that was what it was called, Jeongin had informed them - was low enough that it was hard to hear what the characters were saying, and apparently the subtitle function didn’t work. Seungmin didn’t ask Jeongin to turn up the volume. Loud noises unsettled him considerably, Seungmin had noticed.

"Yeah," Jeongin explained. "He’s a wizard."

"And every wizard gets put in one of these houses?"

"Yeah. While they’re at school, at least. You can take a test to see which one you’d be in." Hyunjin’s eyes immediately went wide, and Jeongin actually  _ laughed _ at his expression. "Do you want to take one?" he asked, and Hyunjin nodded fervently. "Ok."

Seungmin watched as Jeongin paused the film and loaded up his laptop, trying and failing to teach Hyunjin to use the mouse until he simply asked him the questions out loud. "Out of these four potions, which would you drink?"

Hyunjin, it turned out, was a Gryffindor- brave and true, Jeongin told him, always willing to do the right thing. Seungmin was a Hufflepuff, loyal and kind, defensive of their friends.

"What about you?" Seungmin asked.

"Ravenclaw. Wanting to pursue knowledge, and understand things on a level deeper than what we’re taught." He smiled sheepishly. "Do you want to keep watching?"

They watched the second film immediately after the first, pausing around ten minutes in when Jeongin turned distant and afraid, cold pressure against his throat again. The cut there had almost healed, Seungmin noticed once the film had begun again, scar tissue beginning to form. Once it was fully healed, it would be barely visible.

They let the credits of the film play, Jeongin making no move to turn it off as he had the first time. Sensing that he had something to say, Seungmin waited, and he could feel Hyunjin doing the same.

"I was coming back from a night cafe," Jeongin whispered eventually, and Seungmin saw Hyunjin reach for his hand as it dawned on him what Jeongin was trying to say. "I’d been there to play video games. It was kind of late. It was dark. I heard someone walking behind me, and I- I slowed down. So they would pass by me. But they- he- he didn’t."  Seungmin rubbed his back gently, trying to ground him a little as he closed his eyes. "He grabbed me. Held something over my mouth and pushed me into his car. I don’t know where we went. I was- I couldn’t think. I was scared, I couldn’t-"

"Hey," Hyunjin said gently. "That’s enough for today, you don’t have to-"

"It smelled weird," Jeongin continued in a whisper, and Hyunjin fell silent. "The place he took me to. Like herbs. And old books. And dust. He had a knife, then, I don’t- I don’t know where he got it from. And he dragged me down the stairs."

"Jeongin," Seungmin began, but Jeongin just kept speaking, eyes wide and distant, knuckles turning white as he gripped Hyunjin’s hand.

"And there was an angel down there. And the man- the angel said his name but I don’t- I can’t remember it- he said the angel had to make him a soul or I would die. The knife, he-" Jeongin’s free hand flew to his throat, and Seungmin made uneasy eye contact with Hyunjin, unsure of how to stop him, how to alleviate his distress. "The angel said he’d do it. He asked for my name. And the man dragged me back to the car and threw me out on the street where he’d picked me up. I couldn’t- I couldn’t think, my head wasn’t right, I don’t know how I got home."

"And that’s it?" Seungmin asked gently.

"Yeah," Jeongin whispered. "That’s it."

"Ok," Hyunjin said softly, pulling Jeongin close to him. "Ok. Thank you for telling us. Thank you for being so brave."

The three of them remained that way for a while, Jeongin silent and shaken, the two angels comforting him as best they could. Where was his kidnapper now, Seungmin wondered? Free in the streets with the soul Woojin had made him? Did he remember taking Jeongin captive at all? People who lost their soul often had little memory of the things they’d done without it, the days blurring into one. Would this man be the same?

Perhaps Woojin would have informed him of the things he’d done. If Woojin was even still alive.

Seungmin tried not to think about that in too much depth.

"Is that enough?" Jeongin asked in a small voice. "Is that- I can’t tell you anymore, that’s all I-"

"Of course that’s enough," Hyunjin said soothingly. "That was all we needed to know, right Seungmin?"

"Yeah, absolutely," Seungmin agreed, pushing down his urge to ask more about Woojin’s condition. "It just- we should be able to help you more now that we know what happened a little better. So thank you. For telling us."

Jeongin nodded slightly, shifting further into Hyunjin’s embrace, and Seungmin offered him the most reassuring smile he could muster, and hoped that it was enough.

* * *

Jeongin seemed a little hesitant to speak to either of them the next morning; he watched from his bedroom door as Seungmin stretched, twisting the stiffness from his neck and back. Hyunjin was still asleep, wings folded awkwardly behind him, and Seungmin watched as Jeongin frowned and bit his lip.

"Good morning," Seungmin said softly. "Did you sleep well?" Jeongin nodded slowly, and Seungmin smiled at him. "I’m glad. You’re not having so many nightmares lately, are you?"

"No," Jeongin admitted. "I’m not. I still- they’re still there, but… just not so often."

"They’ll fade completely one day," Seungmin told him. "I promise."

Jeongin nodded, eyes a little distant, and Seungmin got the impression he had something he wanted to say.

"I- you don’t have to sleep on the sofa," he said eventually, voice small. "I know it’s probably not comfortable, and… I don’t know, if you wanted to take naps in my bed during the day, or if one of you wanted to sleep there at night - I don’t think there’s room for both of you - you could." He was blushing, Seungmin noticed, apparently unsure of how to tell an angel that it was permitted to share his bed. It was a remarkably human sentiment, he thought, to be embarrassed by the connotations of something as innocent as sleeping in the same space.

"Thank you, Jeongin," he said gently. "That’s very kind of you."

Jeongin shrugged, refusing to meet his eyes. "I’ve slept on that sofa a lot lately," he joked weakly. "I know it’s not the best."

Seungmin laughed, and Jeongin offered him a shy smile. He was lovely when he smiled, Seungmin thought, but he wished he would do so just a little more brightly. That would come, he hoped.

"Do you have any plans for today?" he asked gently. "It might be good for you to try to do something, even if it isn’t anything big."

"I- I don’t know. I’ve been talking to a friend a bit, and he recommended me a few things to watch."

Seungmin tried not to let his body language betray his excitement that Jeongin had apparently contacted someone. He’d been hiding from the world so utterly, so terrified of every little thing, that this was a step Seungmin had been unsure he would take for months.

"A friend?"

"Felix. The one I looked for when I was scrying."

"Oh! You said he’d been... texting you?"

"Yeah, he… he has. And then the other day he asked me out of the blue if I believed in angels, and-" Jeongin broke off, looking down at the floor.

"And you said yes?" Seungmin prompted gently.

"Yeah," Jeongin murmured. "That was a few days ago. We’ve been talking on and off since then."

"That’s brilliant! How is he?"

Jeongin smiled, wandering over and sitting on the arm of the sofa beside him. He seemed more relaxed now, happy with this topic of conversation. "He’s ok! He only just moved here, but he’s settling in. He’s been reconnecting with another old friend of his, too."

"How did you two meet?" Seungmin asked as casually as possible. Jeongin was almost glowing talking about this, and Seungmin wanted to maintain it as long as possible.

"Online. We used to game together."

"You used to… what?" Seungmin asked delicately. He wasn’t even sure he’d understood the first word Jeongin had used. On line.

Jeongin’s eyes widened. "You don’t know about video games? Right. Ok. I’ll explain."

He spent the next half hour talking Seungmin through the concept of video games, and playing them online with other people. Hyunjin woke up halfway through the conversation, listening intently even though he was lacking in context. Eventually, Jeongin admitted that perhaps the best way to learn was through experience, and the two angels watched as he set up a game that he promised was fairly simple.

"We have to fight things?" Hyunjin asked, holding his controller gingerly as Jeongin talked them through the actions associated with each button.

"They’re not real," Jeongin pointed out, laughing a little. "It’s just a game."

"Ok," Seungmin murmured, trying to memorise the controls. "Let’s give it a try."

To his surprise, Seungmin found the game more than a little enjoyable; he liked the character he’d chosen, even if he didn’t understand his tendency to do flips when Seungmin just wanted him to jump.

"It’s because you’re holding the button down," Jeongin explained, laughing as he launched another attack on Hyunjin’s character. "Just press it once."

They played a few rounds, Jeongin winning most of them and Hyunjin developing a tactic of simply constantly jumping in order to avoid attacks. Both Seungmin and Jeongin found this simultaneously hilarious and endlessly frustrating, Seungmin resorting to wrestling the controller from his hands in order to keep him on the ground so that Jeongin could beat him. He laughed as he did, eyes lighting up and smiling wide and bright, and it brought a glow to Seungmin’s chest.

Jeongin’s character stopped attacking midway through their next round. Seungmin turned to him just as his controller hit the floor, slipping from his hands as his eyes went distant and unfocused.

"Jeongin?" Hyunjin asked softly, and Seungmin watched his expression twist as he touched Jeongin’s hand. "Flashback again," he whispered, and Seungmin’s heart sank. He reached for Jeongin’s other hand, gritting his teeth as the fear hit him, paralysing and almost painful in his chest. The music of the game played on, bright and jarring in the background as the three of them waited for the moment to pass. Hyunjin gently pulled Jeongin close to him so that his head rested on the angel’s shoulder, stroking his hair slowly as he always did.

The attack passed somewhat faster than usual. Jeongin was still breathing quick and shallow when he came to, heartbeat fluttering in his chest, but Hyunjin offered Seungmin a faint smile as he realised just how quickly Jeongin had come back to himself.

"It’s ok," Hyunjin murmured. "You’re safe. We’re here." Little by little, Jeongin relaxed against him, letting Hyunjin encircle him with a wing. Seungmin left them to it, focusing on turning off the game; he did his best to reverse the things Jeongin had done in order to turn it on, hoping he wasn’t doing anything that might damage it. Eventually, the screen went black, silence settling into the flat, and Hyunjin reached out a hand. Seungmin took it and let Hyunjin pull him onto the sofa and into an awkward hug around Jeongin, holding him close and safe between them.

"Thank you," he whispered, offering Seungmin a weak smile, and Seungmin just held him tighter until he began to shift. "I feel like I need a shower," he said, voice shaking a little. "Just to feel more normal."

"Ok, petal," Hyunjin agreed gently as he left. "We’ll be here when you’re done."

"Thanks."

Hyunjin shuffled closer into Seungmin’s space once Jeongin had closed the bathroom door behind him, tucking himself under Seungmin’s arm. "That was better," he said softly. "It didn’t take him so long to come back."

"No," Seungmin agreed. "It didn’t. He seems brighter today, too. He’s been talking to his friend Felix."

Hyunjin sat in thoughtful silence for a moment, toying a little with Seungmin’s hand where it rested above his shoulder. "Maybe we won’t be here for as long as we thought," he said softly. "Maybe we really are helping him."

"We’re angels," Seungmin pointed out. "We enhance healing of the body and the mind."

"I know. But we’ve never had to heal anything like this before. I didn’t know if we could do it."

"But we are. I don’t know if it’ll last, but… we are."

"Yeah," Hyunjin agreed. "We are."

Jeongin spent the rest of the day free from attacks. He still seemed unnerved, jumping at every slight sound and barely eating in the evening, but he still smiled when Seungmin asked him if he had any more games, promising that they’d play more tomorrow.

And when evening faded into night, Seungmin curled up beside him on his bed, lying atop the covers while Jeongin lay underneath them, and slept better than he had in days, safe in the knowledge that Hyunjin was watching over both of them.

* * *

With Seungmin’s gentle- and Hyunjin’s far more enthusiastic- prompting, Jeongin spent the next day introducing them to various games humans played.

"These ones are pretty easy, ok?" he promised, and absolutely beamed when Hyunjin finally managed to come first in a race after almost an hour of playing Mario Kart. He laughed when Hyunjin hugged him, cheering dramatically, and Seungmin held back a snort when Jeongin mouthed over Hyunjin’s shoulder that he had let him win.

After Seungmin failed to grasp the controls at all, Jeongin suggested that they play something else, taking Seungmin by the hand and pulling him over to his laptop. Hyunjin pouted, clearly unhappy to stop playing something that he was winning at, but followed anyway, playing with Jeongin’s hair as he introduced Seungmin to Minecraft.

"You just… build things?" Seungmin asked incredulously, and Jeongin nodded.

"Yup. Here, let me show you stuff I’ve made so you get the idea." Seungmin’s eyes grew wider as he looked at the structures Jeongin showed him, until he had to ask, somewhat sheepishly, if Jeongin could teach him how to use the laptop so that he could play. Jeongin laughed at that, not unkindly, and shuffled over so that Seungmin could share his chair. "You guys are so clueless," he said. "It’s honestly kind of cute." Hyunjin tugged lightly on his hair as a joking reprimand, and Jeongin smiled, reaching back to slap his hand. "Ow."

Unable to see Jeongin’s smile, Hyunjin’s face fell at the notion that he’d genuinely caused Jeongin pain, and something in his silence made Jeongin turn. "Hey. It’s ok, Hyunjin. You didn’t really hurt me." He smiled, soft and reassuring, and Seungmin watched Hyunjin smile back, full of sweetness.

Once Jeongin had finished teaching Seungmin the controls, he let him take over, reaching back to take Hyunjin’s hand and place it back in his hair. By the time he’d finished guiding Seungmin through the process of building a house, he had half a dozen little braids sticking out at odd angles from the back of his head. Hyunjin stuck out his tongue when Seungmin laughed at the sight of them, and Jeongin’s eyes widened in confusion.

"What?" he asked, slowly beginning to smile as the two of them laughed. "What did he do?"

"He plaited your hair," Seungmin explained, and Jeongin’s hand flew to the back of his head, feeling the little plaits there, and he laughed as Hyunjin tugged his hand away to stop him from undoing them.

"Leave them alone," he whined. "They look cute."

"Ok," Jeongin agreed, smile shining bright enough to be infectious. "I’ll leave them alone."

He was still smiling as he cooked dinner that night, despite the bareness of his cupboards. They’d have to repeat the online shopping stunt soon, Seungmin thought, and he did his best not to dwell on what had happened last time.

"Sing to me?" he asked Hyunjin as Jeongin ate, and Hyunjin nodded, choosing a light melody that reminded Seungmin of sunlight. Jeongin seemed to enjoy it, too, sitting cross-legged on his chair and watching the two of them with a curious look once he’d finished eating. He looked lovely, Seungmin thought, bathed in the evening sun, petal-shaped eyes soft as he watched Hyunjin sing. He should look that happy, that gentle, more often.

He slipped into dreams easily that night as Seungmin stroked his hair, and was undisturbed by nightmares until almost dawn.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've reached the halfway point! Time for Seungmin to start evaluating some of his feelings, perhaps...
> 
> Next update will be on Wednesday!

Despite sleeping well, Jeongin didn’t get out of bed until the afternoon; when he did, he spent brief periods sitting and frowning at his laptop, interspersed with pacing in circles around the living room. Hyunjin, after waking up with wings so stiff he could barely unfold them, had admitted that perhaps he would have to stretch, and had gone for an early evening flight in the foothills. Whatever was going on here, Seungmin had to figure it out by himself.

"Hey, Jeongin?" he asked hesitantly. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah, it’s just… emails," Jeongin muttered.

"What… what are those?"

Jeongin paused in his pacing. "You don’t know what-? No, of course you don’t," he muttered. "You didn’t know what a laptop was. Um… they’re letters. But on a laptop."

"They’re not bringing good news?" Seungmin asked carefully. "You don’t seem happy about them."

"It’s just university stuff." He sighed. "I’ve been avoiding looking at it, I haven’t felt… like I could. But then I started talking to Felix about his uni stuff, and… I guess I have to face bits of the outside world sometime."

"University? You’re a scholar?" Jeongin smiled at him a little then, perhaps because of his archaic phrasing, or perhaps simply because Seungmin was taking an interest.

"I guess I will be," he agreed. "But not yet. My course doesn’t start for a few weeks."

"Then why are they sending you… emails?"

Jeongin sighed. "Because I’ll have to go to a few enrolment events. To let the uni know I’m there. And I won’t be able to go."

"You might," Seungmin suggested. "If they’re in a few weeks, you might be feeling better by then. You’re already doing better."

"I still can’t go outside," Jeongin whispered. "I can’t- I can’t even think about it, Seungmin, I can’t-"

"Woah, it’s ok. Come here."

"No, I don’t- I don’t want a hug, Seungmin, I don’t want you to just pretend that you can fix everything when if you left today things would go straight back to the way they were." Jeongin’s face crumpled a little at the sight of his expression, and Seungmin did his best to school it back into something more neutral. "Sorry. I didn’t mean- you’re helping. I’m grateful for that. I really am, I just-"

"You’re not at a point where you’re stable by yourself, yet," Seungmin finished. "I know. But Hyunjin and I haven’t been here long, Jeongin. And I’m sorry if we can’t work fast enough for you to be able to go to these events, I really am, but this is…" he hesitated, not wanting to make Jeongin feel any worse than he already did. "This is difficult for us. Your mind was damaged in a way that we haven’t dealt with before. We’re doing our best."

Jeongin sat down heavily beside him on the sofa and wrapped his arms around his knees. "PTSD," he said softly. "I think it’s PTSD."

"I don’t-"

"Post traumatic stress disorder. It’s a kind of anxiety disorder associated with trauma." He laughed a little bitterly. "I’m here to study psychology. I would have had  _ lectures _ on PTSD. Isn’t that hilarious?"

"Jeongin," Seungmin murmured. He didn’t know what else to say.

"Sorry. I’m- sorry. I know you’re just trying to help."

"You’re going to get better, Jeongin. I promise."

"You’ve said that before," Jeongin pointed out quietly, but there was no malice in it.

"Because it’s true." Seungmin nudged him gently, hoping to pull him out of his melancholia. "You’re already improving a lot, and with a little more time…" he trailed off, knowing he wouldn’t be able to convince him. "Tell me more about what you were going to study. I don’t meet many scholars."

Jeongin smiled a little at that, and Seungmin felt a little spark of pride in his chest as he began to explain what he knew of the intricacies of the human mind. Jeongin would get better. Seungmin knew he would. Someone so bright and so brilliant, with two angels at his side, could conquer anything.

He was speaking with a kind of animation Seungmin had never seen before, he noticed; there was a light of enthusiasm in his eyes, as he made little gestures with his hands, that was new to Seungmin. Jeongin was lovely like this, he thought; happy and inspired, eyes sparkling with it.

"Am I- am I being boring?" Jeongin asked out of the blue. His smile had faded a little, and Seungmin found himself desperately wishing it would return. "You’re just sort of… looking at me."

"It’s because you look happy," Seungmin explained quietly. "It suits you."

Jeongin flushed a little, eyes widening. "Oh. Thanks. I think."

"You’re welcome."

"Do you- do you know when Hyunjin will be back?" Jeongin continued awkwardly, apparently trying to change the topic of conversation. "He’s been a while."

"I think he’ll most likely have to stop in the mountains," Seungmin explained. "He’s been neglecting his flight muscles, he’ll need to rest before he comes back." A thought dawned on him. "Are you- are you uncomfortable with just me around? I know I’m not as empathetic, I-"

"No, not at all," Jeongin replied quickly. "No, I’m… I like hanging out with both of you. I was just worried that he’d been so long." He paused, and Seungmin waited. This conversation had taken a strange, awkward turn, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.

"We’re friends, right?" Jeongin asked eventually, voice small enough that Seungmin barely heard it despite sitting right beside him. "I know you guys only came here because you had to, but… we’re friends, aren’t we?"

The sound of the window opening interrupted Seungmin before he could reply, Hyunjin stumbling in with a smile. "Hi! Everything ok?"

"Jeongin’s our friend, isn’t he?" Seungmin asked immediately. Hyunjin’s smile faltered into confusion before it bloomed again, eyes bright with it.

"Of course you’re our friend. We like you a lot. You’re sweet. You taught us how to play Slash Bros."

"Smash Bros," Jeongin corrected, smiling. "And I like you guys, too." Seungmin reached to take his hand.

"Make room on the sofa," Hyunjin groaned as he wandered over. "I need to sleep. Never let me go that long without flying again."

Seungmin laughed, pulling Jeongin gently to the side so that Hyunjin could collapse face down. "Ok. I’ll force you to go every few days."

"Thanks," Hyunjin said, voice muffled by the cushions.

"I should… I need to get back to answering those emails," Jeongin mumbled, gently untangling himself from Seungmin’s embrace. "Not that I know what I’ll say."

"Can you tell them you’re unwell?" Seungmin suggested. "That you won’t be able to attend?"

"Maybe," Jeongin replied hesitantly. "Thanks for the suggestion."

"Anything we can do to help."

Jeongin ducked his head a little, retreating to the kitchen table with his laptop, and Seungmin listened to the quiet, irregular tick of his fingers on the keys until he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer.

* * *

Jeongin didn’t sleep well after they watched the next Harry Potter film. He had curled up with Hyunjin on the sofa, not wanting to move to his bed, and Seungmin had obligingly dragged the duvet from his room to cover him.

Despite Seungmin and Hyunjin thinking they were coming to an end, Jeongin’s nightmares barely ceased once he was asleep; Hyunjin had to leave eventually, unable to bear the weight of Jeongin’s cries and the images his mind was creating; his own reflection, starved and bruised, broken wings protruding from his back like tumours; Woojin outside his flat, scratching on the door and begging Jeongin to help. His guilt at leaving Woojin behind was crippling him, Seungmin realised, feeding into his dreams and twisting them.

"Jeongin," Seungmin murmured after the fifth time he jolted awake, tears shining at his cheeks. "I wish I could help you more." Jeongin shook his head wordlessly, tucking himself into Seungmin’s arms. "Have you thought… I know that talking to Felix has helped you over the last few days. Have you maybe considered asking him to come and see you in person?"

"I don’t know," Jeongin whispered. "I’m not- I’m not right, he might freak out if he sees me."

"And he might not," Seungmin said gently. "It’s just a suggestion. You don’t have to. I just think that you could do with something that makes you happy."

"You make me happy," Jeongin said quietly, and Seungmin held him just a little more tightly.

"You make us happy, too," he replied, "but I think it would be good for you to see someone else. And I think it might ease Felix’s mind a little if you let him closer."

"Yeah. Maybe."

"You don’t have to decide right now. Get some sleep."

"I don’t want to sleep," Jeongin said softly, and Seungmin’s chest ached at the quiet honesty of the words.

"Ok," he said. "Just rest, then. I’m here. You’re safe."

* * *

Hyunjin and Seungmin agreed to hide when Felix came over; they wouldn’t go far, they promised, but Jeongin still seemed nervous.

"What if I- what if I have a flashback or something? While he’s here?"

"I’m sure he’d-" Hyunjin began, but Jeongin looked so distressed that he stopped mid sentence, turning to Seungmin with wide eyes.

"If you want," Seungmin said slowly, "we can try to exert some kind of calm over you. I don’t know how successful it’ll be from a distance, but we can try. Just to hold it at bay for a little while."

Jeongin’s eyes widened imploringly. "Could you? It won’t be too much effort?"

Hyunjin shook his head slowly. "Not with the two of us. We’ll do our best for you, petal."

"Thank you," Jeongin said, pulling them each in for a hug. Seungmin thought that might be the first time he’d initiated such prolonged contact with him. It was nice to feel the love and gratitude in his embrace, the way his hands settled a little awkwardly around Seungmin’s wings.

"We’ll be on the roof, ok?" Hyunjin told him as they headed to the window. "We won’t go any further than that."

Jeongin nodded mutely, pale with anxiety, and Seungmin offered him the most reassuring smile he could manage. He didn’t smile back.

"I hope this helps," Hyunjin said softly as soon as they were out of earshot and their calming connection with Jeongin well-established. He’d been more upset than Seungmin by Jeongin’s relapse, worrying incessantly, not wanting to leave his side, and Seungmin thought he might be resting all his hopes in Felix.

"I’m sure it will," Seungmin reassured him, reaching to brush his hair from his forehead. "The two of them have been friends for a long time. Felix will make him feel at least a little better."

"Yeah," Hyunjin agreed. He turned, meeting Seungmin’s eyes and smiling. "It’s been a while since it was just the two of us, huh?"

"You know, it has," Seungmin said thoughtfully. "How have you been, stranger?"

Hyunjin laughed, bright and lovely as ever, and Seungmin felt a surge of affection rise in his chest. He was so immeasurably glad that Hyunjin was by his side through this.

"I’ve been ok. Missing my best friend a little."

"Oh, really? I bet he misses you, too."

Hyunjin’s smile widened, and he reached for Seungmin’s hand, linking their little fingers together. "I guess we only appreciate being by ourselves when we haven’t been for a while."

"Yeah. Remember that time Minho stole one of my feathers-"

"And we ran off because we were upset, but then realised it was just nice to hang out for a while? Yeah," Hyunjin confirmed, laughing slightly.

"He and Woojin thought we stayed away so long because we were angry, but we were just having a nice time." Seungmin paused, leaning against Hyunjin a little. "I like Jeongin, though. I like spending time with him."

"Yeah, me too," Hyunjin agreed. "He’s sweet."

"Guys?" a soft voice called from the window. "Are you there?"

Hyunjin headed down almost immediately, alighting on the balcony before ducking quickly into the flat for fear or being seen. Seungmin followed as fast as he could; Jeongin hadn’t sounded worried, but it couldn’t hurt to show him that they were there.

"Is everything ok?" Hyunjin asked, reaching for Jeongin’s hand. 

Jeongin nodded. He looked like he was about to cry. "Yeah, I just- I needed to know that you guys were still there."

"Of course we are," Seungmin told him gently, reaching out to take his other hand. "We told you that we wouldn’t go far."

"Yeah," Jeongin said softly, "you won’t go far."

He appeared to be drifting a little, and Seungmin squeezed his hand to pull him gently out of his thoughts. "Is Felix well?"

"Is he- yeah! Yeah, he’s doing fine. He’s gone to buy me groceries."

"Oh, that’s so sweet of him," Hyunjin remarked, and Jeongin nodded.

"I know this was a big step," Seungmin told him, "but I think this is good, Jeongin. We’re proud of you."

Jeongin smiled, seeming at least a little more present that he had before. "He’ll be back soon," he pointed out. "You should go."

"Ok," Seungmin agreed. "But you know we’ll be close by, yeah? Just like always. If you need us, we’ll be right here."

"I know. Thank you."

Throwing Jeongin a final smile, Seungmin headed for the window; Hyunjin lingered a moment longer, pulling Jeongin in for another hug before he followed.

* * *

They ended up staying on the roof until past midnight, the sunset trailing into dusk and finally night around them. Beyond their usual nonsense, they didn’t make much conversation, resorting instead to forming harmonies as they sang. It had been too long since they sang together, Seungmin thought. He’d missed Hyunjin’s voice, the tone of it, the way it sounded against his own. Judging by the happy sigh Hyunjin gave once their song ended, brushing his hand softly against Seungmin’s cheek, he felt the same.

"Hyunjin? Seungmin? You can come back now," Jeongin called softly into the night. "I’m sorry you had to stay out there for so long," he continued as they made their way back into the flat. He looked happy, cheeks a little flushed, eyes brighter than they had been despite the dark circles beneath them.

"That’s ok," Seungmin said warmly. "You look better for seeing a friend."

"Did you have a nice time?" Hyunjin asked, and Jeongin almost  _ beamed _ .

"Yeah," he replied, "I did. It was really good to see him again. He said he’ll keep coming over."

"That’s fantastic!" Hyunjin cried, lowering his tone when Jeongin flinched just a little at the noise. "He sounds like a wonderful friend."

"Yeah," Jeongin agreed softly. "He is." He paused, exhaling for a moment. "But I’m pretty tired now. I’m going to get ready for bed."

"That sounds like a good idea," Seungmin agreed. "Get some rest."

"I’ll sleep next to you tonight," Hyunjin offered. "Keep away any nightmares."

Jeongin smiled a little shyly at him. He still seemed a little uncertain about sharing a bed with them, despite the angels themselves adjusting to it rather quickly. "Thanks."

Seungmin curled up on the sofa under the blanket that now took up permanent residence there as Hyunjin waved goodnight and headed into Jeongin’s room. It wasn’t long before Jeongin emerged from the bathroom and followed, calling out a gentle goodnight to Seungmin as he went.

Shifting so that his wings were more comfortable against the sofa cushions, Seungmin thought about just how happy Jeongin had looked after Felix had left. He had been glowing a little, smile more genuine than it had been in a while, and it had warmed Seungmin to his core. Jeongin had such a brilliant smile, truer than most people’s, and Seungmin decided then that he’d endeavour to make it appear more often. That was their role here, wasn’t it? To make him smile? Regardless of the way it made Seungmin feel to see it, that was what he had been sent to do.

Hyunjin was good at bringing out that smile. Seungmin could hear the two of them talking quietly in the darkness of Jeongin’s room, and he hoped, with a fervour that surprised him, that both of them were smiling; were taking joy in each other’s company before they slept.

He listened for as long as he could, and the sound of their voices, distant and gentle as the babble of a stream, lulled him into sleep.

* * *

Hyunjin complained repeatedly the next day of an itch in his wings, whining and reaching round to scratch at them until Seungmin sighed and gave in, offering to see what he could do.

"I doubt you’ve got many moulted feathers since I last checked," he complained. "I think it’s just dust."

"Then get it  _ out _ ," Hyunjin grumbled, and Seungmin ran his fingers through his hair to soothe him.

"Ok. I’ll see what I can do." He spent the next half hour gently combing through Hyunjin’s feathers to see if he could find the source of the itch, occasionally stroking the bones of his wings to offer him some pleasant sensation until it was over. Jeongin watched, eyes wide and curious, some emotion Seungmin couldn’t read hanging in their depths.

"You two…" he said eventually, apparently unsure of how to say what he wanted. "I’ve been wondering for a while, I guess, but are you…?" He gestured vaguely to the two of them, and Seungmin waited for him to finish his sentence.

"Are we what?" Hyunjin asked, pushing his wing against Seungmin’s hand to show him that he’d found the spot where the itch was worst.

Jeongin looked away, flushing a little. "Are you like… together? Romantically."

Seungmin paused, hands hovering over Hyunjin’s still wings. "No, Jeongin," he said slowly. "We’re not."

"Oh. Sorry, I didn’t mean- I didn’t mean for that to be a weird question, you guys just…" he paused. "I guess you act in a way that humans typically would if they were dating."

"Do we?" Hyunjin asked curiously.

Jeongin looked a little lost. "Well… you’re almost always touching each other somehow. You seem like you know what the other is thinking. You just seem kind of… wrapped up in each other."

" We’ve been friends for a very long time," Seungmin explained, returning his attention to Hyunjin’s wings. He knew he and Hyunjin were closer than most angels. That didn’t come as a surprise. But for Jeongin to think that they were lovers in some capacity… he wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that.

"We spend a lot of time touching you, too," Hyunjin pointed out, and Jeongin twitched. "Do you want us to stop?"

"No, I don’t… I don’t mind it."

"Good," Hyunjin said softly, and Jeongin’s eyes widened just a fraction. "There. Seungmin, wherever your left hand is."

Seungmin carefully parted the feathers, seeking the source of the itch. “I think it’s pine needles,” he murmured. “They must have stuck in your feathers when we landed in the forest and been drying there ever since.”

"But that was  _ weeks _ ago."

"Yes, and they’ve been well insulated. Let me clear them out, it might take a while. A good long flight in a rainstorm would do it."

Hyunjin whined unhappily, and Seungmin couldn’t help but laugh, resting his forehead briefly on Hyunjin’s shoulder and running his hands down his arms in apology. It took a moment for him to reevaluate how naturally the motion came to him; Jeongin was right. He was always touching Hyunjin, skin feeling more settled if it was against Hyunjin’s somehow. He’d never thought it meant anything.

And perhaps it didn’t, he decided. Perhaps it was just the way they’d always been, and the way they’d always be. A pair. Never parted.

Never anything more or less than what they were.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter is sponsored by Feelings and yelling trans rights in the face of The Author Who Shall Not Be Named <3

When Hyunjin suggested that they continue with watching the Harry Potter films. Jeongin lit up at the idea; he immediately chattered on to Hyunjin about the differences between the films and the books, suggesting he should read them.

"The author isn’t… she’s not a great person," Jeongin admitted. "She’s said some pretty awful things, but it doesn’t change the fact that the books were a huge part of my childhood, you know? I love them a lot, despite her."

"They seem like kind stories," Hyunjin said softly. "It’s a shame if she can’t embody her own character’s values."

Jeongin smiled at him, eyes thoughtful. "Yeah," he said. "That’s exactly it."

They ended up watching the next two films in the series. They were getting darker, Seungmin noticed, and Jeongin nodded slowly when he asked about it.

"The books do the same. It worked, really, because anyone who’d been a kid when they read the first one was pretty much grown up by the time the last one came out. We grew up alongside the characters, I guess." He smiled fondly, and Seungmin felt his heart rise in his chest a little. It was nice that he was sharing something so important to him with them, Seungmin thought.

Seungmin found parts of the fifth film in particular more than a little unsettling. Harry’s nightmares, he thought, seemed far too close to Jeongin’s, and he laced their fingers together as subtly as he could, Jeongin smiling slightly at him in response. Perhaps there was no great evil invading Jeongin’s mind, but Seungmin knew that at times he felt it wasn’t entirely his own.

Something that seemed to particularly stir Seungmin’s heart, for reasons he couldn’t decipher, was the kiss shared between Harry and Cho; it was tentative, and young, and the beginnings of tenderness there were enough to shift something in his chest. A yearning, almost.

Hyunjin seemed to feel the same, sniffling a little. "Are you crying?" Jeongin asked incredulously. "They don’t even end up together."

"Why not?" Hyunjin asked tearfully.

"A lot of reasons. It’s complicated."

"But… they like each other."

"They do, but… there are a lot of obstacles. And maybe they’re just not right for each other."

Hyunjin sniffed again, wiping his eyes. "Is all human romance like this?"

"Not always," Jeongin told him slowly. "But it can be."

"What about you?" Seungmin asked, suddenly a little curious. "Has it been complicated for you?" He didn’t mean to pry, but something about the way Jeongin spoke suggested that there was a story behind it.

Jeongin sighed, tucking his knees up to his chest. "Yeah," he admitted. "It- it has."

"You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, petal," Hyunjin reassured him quickly, and Jeongin shrugged.

"No, it’s- It’s not a big thing. Not really. I had a girlfriend a few years ago. I cared about her a lot. Kind of thought we’d stay together through uni. But…" he hesitated, looking down at the remote in his hands. "I fell in love with someone else, too. A boy. He was just… funny, and odd, and sweet, and I… I loved him. I still loved her, though, which… confused me. I didn’t think I could love more than one person at once."

"What happened?" Hyunjin asked.

Jeongin sighed again, more heavily than before. "He kissed me," he mumbled. "I- he knew I was with someone. He shouldn’t have done it. But he did, and I… I felt too guilty not to tell my girlfriend. I tried to explain that I didn’t love her any less, that I still- I still wanted to be with her, but I had feelings for him, too. She broke up with me. Said I’d cheated. He asked me, afterwards, if I wanted to go out with him, but… I felt too guilty. I couldn’t do it."

"Oh," Hyunjin murmured. "I’m sorry. I’m so sorry."

Jeongin shrugged again. He looked a little uncomfortable. "Yeah. It sucked. I was pretty torn up about it for a while. Felix helped me through a lot of the aftermath, along with figuring out what I actually identified as in terms of my sexuality and stuff. I’ve not… I’ve not really dated since. Just seems like a bit of a minefield."

Seungmin squeezed his hand gently. "I’m sure you’ll find someone who’ll love you dearly," he promised. "And someone who will understand that your heart doesn’t stray just because it has room for more than one person."

Jeongin smiled weakly at him. "I hope so," he said softly. "I really do."

* * *

They both curled up in Jeongin’s bed that night, holding him close between them; apparently Hyunjin had been just as unnerved by the imagery of nightmares as Seungmin had, and wanted to keep Jeongin close. 

Even with the lack of space, Jeongin had drifted off quickly, Seungmin feeling him slip seamlessly into his dreams, but he just couldn’t seem to settle his own thoughts enough to rest.

He wasn’t even sure what it was about the kiss in film that had struck him so heavily; the moment had been emotional, certainly, but it had left him aching in a way he couldn’t quantify. Seungmin closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep. He was just tired, he told himself, and a little upset by Jeongin’s story. That was why the film, the kiss, had affected him so strongly.

On Jeongin’s other side, he heard the covers shift.

"Seungmin?" Hyunjin whispered through the dark. "Are you awake?"

"Yes," Seungmin replied softly. "What’s wrong?"

For a moment, Hyunjin didn’t answer. "I was just thinking," he said eventually. "About the film."

"What about it?"

"Does it… does it seem fair to you?"

Seungmin hesitated, the concept striking a chord somehow, as though he’d been wondering the same thing without realising it. "Fair?" he asked.

"That they can have that," Hyunjin said. "And we can’t."

"Love," Seungmin whispered. "You mean love."

"Yeah. The more I think about it, the more it just… doesn’t seem right. That humans have that, that they can love each other that way, and we just… can’t."

"We can love," Seungmin pointed out. "Just not like that. Not in such a personal way."

"But that doesn’t make  _ sense _ ," Hyunjin said, voice a little too loud in the quiet of Jeongin’s room; Jeongin shifted a little in his sleep, almost breaking the surface of wakefulness, and Seungmin felt Hyunjin wait until he’d settled again. "That doesn’t make sense," he repeated softly. "I love Woojin, and I love Minho. I love you. How is that not personal?"

Seungmin struggled for a moment, fighting an odd swell of emotion he didn’t know how to process. "That’s different," was all he ended up saying.

"Is it? How? It just seems like… like a step. If I can love like that, then why shouldn’t I love like the people in the film do? Like Jeongin does?"

"Hyunjin- stop. This isn’t- we can’t-"

"I think we could," Hyunjin interrupted softly. "I think  _ I  _ could, at least. I think I could love like that."

Seungmin hesitated, unsure of what to say. He’d never known an angel who fell in love. He’d known of angels who’d fallen prey to lust, losing their wings out of a failure to resist temptation, but love? Angels didn’t love that way. They loved impersonally, distantly.

But Hyunjin had said he loved him. And if Seungmin thought about it, didn’t he love Hyunjin, too? Not distantly at all, but as close as he could love another person; in knowing the things that would calm him, in laughing when Hyunjin brushed the sensitive spots of his neck with his fingertips, in cleaning his wings; didn’t Seungmin love him, in all those things?

Hyunjin didn’t say anything more, but nor did it seem as though he was waiting for Seungmin to speak. He seemed lost in thought, wings shining faintly in the dark, and Seungmin felt something in him tangle into knots at the beauty of them, how fiercely glad he was for a moment that no one touched them but him. The strength of the emotion took the air from him briefly, and he tried to settle himself. It was just the film, he told himself. He was tired, and the film had been a new experience for him, and now Hyunjin was confusing him with talk of love and angels. That was all it was.

But still, he didn’t sleep. Even when he felt Hyunjin slip away (was it normal, to be connected so strongly? Were other angels so closely tied to one another?) he remained awake, thinking himself in circles until the moon began to fall.

* * *

From Seungmin’s perspective, things changed a little after that. Perhaps nothing was different, but somehow, it felt as though something had shifted between him and Hyunjin. He felt it more keenly when Hyunjin’s hand brushed his, the glow of his smile seeming brighter. It seemed to him as though Hyunjin were a hundred times more tactile than usual, spending every spare moment with his hand in Seungmin’s hair or on his wings to the point that Seungmin grew almost self-conscious. Why was Hyunjin like this with him? He’d never known a pair of angels so closely entangled as the two of them were. And hadn’t Jeongin wondered if they were romantically involved, based purely on the way they interacted?

But Hyunjin acted exactly the same way around Jeongin, Seungmin noticed, always reaching to touch him, always sending him soft smiles. He called Jeongin beautiful more than once over a period of a few days, and Seungmin could never quite suppress a burst of affection at the way Jeongin would flush a little and smile as he avoided Hyunjin’s gaze.

Seungmin found himself trying to hide or push down his emotions a good deal more frequently these days, he noticed. It wasn’t something he’d ever had to do before; but then again, he supposed he’d never felt quite so much for anyone as he had for Hyunjin and Jeongin. They were his two best friends.

But the more human media he consumed, the more he thought that the three of them acted as though they were something more. They acted the way humans did in the romantic dramas that made Jeongin cry; they were each gentle with the others, reaching to comfort them when they were in pain; they bonded over each other’s interests, and made each other laugh. It gave Seungmin a headache thinking circles around it, trying to untangle his own feelings when he didn’t know the names of half of them. Had any angel ever felt like this before, he wondered? Had any angel ever felt so  _ much ? _

They certainly weren’t supposed to.

Lying awake at night considering this, however distressing, had its benefits; Seungmin was already awake when Jeongin began crying out in his sleep, hands twitching against the pillow until Seungmin shook him awake as gently as possible and held him as he cried.

"I thought they’d stopped again," he sobbed against Seungmin’s neck, clinging to him like a life raft. "I thought they’d gone  _ away _ , I thought I was getting  _ better _ -"

"You are, petal," Seungmin murmured. "You are getting better. It’s just ups and downs. It’s ok. You’re ok." He wasn’t sure why he used Hyunjin’s particular term of endearment for Jeongin. It just happened somehow, falling off his tongue now that Jeongin needed comfort.

Slowly, he managed to calm Jeongin down enough to get him to text Felix.

"He won’t answer at this time of night," Jeongin pointed out softly, and Seungmin shrugged.

"He’ll see it in the morning. I just think it’s important that you reach out, Jeongin. He’s a good friend to you, and I think he’ll help more than you think."

"Yeah," Jeongin murmured, shuffling closer to Seungmin again until Seungmin looped an arm around his shoulder. "You’re right."

"Do you think you’ll be ok getting back to sleep?"

"I don’t- I don’t know."

"What if I sing to you?" Seungmin suggested. "Would that help?"

Jeongin’s eyes went almost comically wide, and Seungmin couldn’t help pulling him a little closer, the wave of affection too much for him not to act on it. "You’d sing to me?"

"Of course," Seungmin said softly. "I want to help."

"I thought- I don’t know, you and Hyunjin sing to each other, I thought- I thought it was a you thing."

"It can be a you thing, too," Seungmin offered. It was there again, he thought, that sense of a level of intimacy beyond friendship between them. It was there in the way Jeongin curled so close to him as though he knew Seungmin would keep him safe; in the way Seungmin held him there. He’d never noticed it before. But since Hyunjin had spoken to him of love...

"If you wouldn’t mind," Jeongin said hesitantly. "I’d… I’d like it. If you sang for me."

"Ok," Seungmin murmured. He didn’t particularly know any human songs, nothing with lyrics that Jeongin could understand, but he knew plenty that sounded at least somewhat soothing. He chose a song older than most; a song for chasing the shadows away and sleeping under stars.

Jeongin fell asleep curled against his chest just as he finished the second stanza. Seungmin kept singing anyway, trying to ensure that his dreams were kind to him, and it distracted him, for a moment, from the fact that Hyunjin was hovering in the doorway, shadow cast across the floor as he blocked the light from the living room.

"Hi," Seungmin said softly.

"Hi," Hyunjin replied. He crossed the room, sitting gently on the bed beside Jeongin and, with a tenderness Seungmin couldn’t quantify, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead as he slept. "I sometimes forget how beautifully you sing the old songs."

"Not much cause to sing them."

"You could sing them for me," Hyunjin replied, almost in a whisper. "If you sing them for him, then you could sing them for me."

"I will," Seungmin promised. His heart was beating so hard in his throat that he had a hard time getting the words out. "Ask me, and I will."

Hyunjin smiled softly, and Seungmin felt his heart skip. "Goodnight, Seungmin," he said, fingertips brushing over his hand, and Seungmin watched as he headed back to the sofa, closing the door softly behind him.

Seungmin tried to slow his breathing. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like the fact that things seemed to be changing between them, let alone Jeongin’s involvement. It was like all three of them had suddenly been drawn into a dance where none of them quite knew the steps or the outcome.

He sighed, settling down as best he could with his arm still around Jeongin. There was nothing to do but wait, he supposed. Wait and see how the three of them were left when the music stopped.

* * *

Felix arrived fairly early the next morning, Jeongin hurrying the angels out onto the roof apologetically before he could knock on the door. They sat up there together, Seungmin all too aware of Hyunjin’s proximity and silence, the late summer breeze dancing in their hair. He needed to stop thinking so much, he told himself. Needed to stop seeing everything through the lens of that one conversation.

Hyunjin sighed, breath brushing Seungmin’s shoulder as he leaned his head there, and Seungmin twitched.

"Are you ok?" Hyunjin murmured. "You seem tense."

"No, I’m- I’m fine."

"You’re not. I know you, Seungmin. I know what fine looks like on you." Seungmin didn’t reply, unsure of what to say, and Hyunjin’s hand rested at the base of his wings. "Hey, I’ll clean your wings. That sound good? Might calm you down a bit."

_ Angels clean each other’s wings all the time _ , Seungmin thought to himself.  _ It doesn’t mean anything _ .

"Sure," he said a little hoarsely, and Hyunjin beamed as he moved to sit behind him.

"I don’t know how you get your wings to shine the way they do," Hyunjin complained, gently pressing his thumbs into Seungmin’s back to massage the flight muscles there, long fingers curling around his ribs. "They glow. I’ve never seen any other angel with wings that glow like that."

"Yeah," Seungmin said weakly. "It’s a bit weird."

"Not in a bad way," Hyunjin said gently. "I like it. They’re beautiful."

Seungmin was glad Hyunjin couldn’t see him blush. "Thanks."

It didn’t take long for Hyunjin to pull the moulted feathers from Seungmin’s wings. "I wish we had some oil," he sighed. "So I could clean them properly. There must be so much dirt building up."

"We can ask Jeongin to order some," Seungmin suggested.

"Good plan," Hyunjin murmured. "I might go flying tomorrow, so clean wings would be nice." He sounded closer, and Seungmin felt him shuffle forwards, settling between Seungmin’s wings and leaning on his back, arms wrapped around his waist. "Hi."

"Hi," Seungmin said quietly, not turning to face him; Hyunjin’s chin was on his shoulder, and if he were to turn they would be far too close, almost nose to nose, and Seungmin didn’t think he could take that just now.

"You’re still tense."

"I’m just worried about Jeongin," Seungmin told him. It wasn’t entirely a lie.

"Last night was bad, huh?"

"Yeah, it was."

"Would you sing for me?" Hyunjin asked softly. "One of the old songs, like you sang for him."

"Ok," Seungmin whispered. "Do you mind which one?"

"There was one about flying, wasn’t there? About donning the wings of a bird."

"Yeah. I know the one you mean."

The song, as Seungmin remembered it, was slow and mournful, melodies rising and falling oddly. He liked it all the same, and it had been one of Hyunjin’s favourites once.

He was halfway through when Hyunjin joined in, adding his voice to Seungmin’s in gentle discords that made Seungmin shiver. That was how the song was supposed to sound, he remembered. Written for two voices, following each other in an odd, dolorous dance.

Somehow, Seungmin doubted it had been written to be sung by two angels, one warm against the other’s back, holding him close.

It was a long song, following a complex story, and they hadn’t managed to finish it by the time Jeongin called them in; he still seemed quiet, if a little brighter, and he took some coaxing from Hyunjin to give him more building tutorials on Minecraft. Seungmin gave them both an encouraging smile as he went to clear away the mess from the kitchen. Hyunjin’s warmth still lingered against his skin, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to be too close to him for a while lest his mind run away with him.  _ It’s not love _ , he told himself.  _ He’s acting the same way as he always has. _

But what if it had meant something all along?

"Seungmin, come see this," Hyunjin called, and Seungmin shook himself, doing his best to smile as he wandered over to them. Today was about making Jeongin feel better, he told himself. He could think about himself and Hyunjin later.

Right now, he’d just do his best to pretend everything was normal.

* * *

Plagued by visions of broken angels, Jeongin didn’t want to get out of bed the next day; he curled up under his blankets, trembling a little, sharp wit and smiles faded away. Seungmin watched as Hyunjin stood beside his bed, torn. He’d been going to stretch his wings today, Seungmin remembered.

"Go on," he said quietly. "I’ll look after him."

Hyunjin nodded hesitantly, crossing the room to embrace Seungmin briefly before heading for the window. His hand lingered on Seungmin’s back, he noticed, trailing slowly over his skin as though he didn’t really want to let go. Seungmin did his best not to think about it. More and more, he was beginning to wish that he and Hyunjin had never had that particular conversation.

Once Hyunjin had disappeared, Seungmin curled up beside Jeongin on the bed, gently pulling the covers away from his face until his eyes were visible.

"Hi," he said gently. "You ok?"  Jeongin sighed. "I don’t know. Today’s just weird."

"Can I help?"

"You’re here," Jeongin pointed out, expression shifting into something that was almost a smile. "That’s enough."

"Do you want me to sing to you again?" Seungmin asked. "You- it seemed to help, before."

"It did," Jeongin admitted quietly. "That might be nice."

"Ok," Seungmin said, watching a smile begin to bloom in earnest across Jeongin’s features. He really was beautiful when he smiled, eyes sparkling with it like the sun on a stream. "I’ll sing to you."

Unlike last time, Jeongin didn’t fall asleep. He simply lay still, watching Seungmin sing as though trying to commit the sight to memory, reaching out to take Seungmin’s hand just as he reached the third stanza of the song.

"Could you teach me?" he asked quietly once the song was done, avoiding Seungmin’s eyes in favour of toying with his hand, matching up their fingertips. "I’m not- I don’t think I could sing like you, but I used to sing. And I’d like to learn that song."

"Sure," Seungmin agreed, smiling at the way Jeongin lit up a little. "Of course I’ll teach you. Repeat the first verse after me."

Slowly but surely, Seungmin taught Jeongin the song. His voice was sweeter than Seungmin had expected; a little wobbly from lack of use, but the tone of it set his heart soaring, especially the sound of a song so old and so lovely on his lips. He had to reteach the fourth stanza, Jeongin going distant and afraid halfway through it, Seungmin rubbing his back gently until he came to himself again.

"Want to sing it together?" he asked once Jeongin could reproduce the entire song on his own.

"Ok," Jeongin whispered. His smile had softened now into something warmer, something gentler. It made Seungmin want to hold him. He contented himself with a soft squeeze of Jeongin’s hand before he slowly began to sing, Jeongin joining in just a beat late until he found Seungmin’s rhythm. They sounded lovely together, Seungmin thought, voices weaving well, but perhaps he was just biased; more and more, he found himself loving every little thing he and Jeongin did together.

Slowly, they approached the end of the final stanza. Jeongin stumbled over his syllables a little there, not knowing it quite so well as the first, but Seungmin did his best to smile encouragingly as he sang the final lines.

"You know," Jeongin said quietly as silence faded slowly back into the space between them, "you’re not really what I expected."

"How so?"

"I don’t know, I just… I kind of thought angels should be seven feet tall, or something. Or be kind of terrifying."

"Fear wouldn’t get us anywhere," Seungmin pointed out softly. "Angels can take more… abstract forms. But Hyunjin and I, and our friends… we never liked to. We liked to walk as you did."

For a moment, Jeongin seemed a little lost for words. "Yeah, well," he said weakly. "I at least expected you all to be absolutely ripped." He poked Seungmin’s stomach teasingly, the softness there giving way a little beneath the pressure.

"Would you like us to be muscular?" Seungmin joked, catching Jeongin’s hand before he could withdraw it. "I’m sure we could manage it if you show us some examples to follow."

"Nah," Jeongin said quietly. "I like you just as you are."

Something in the sincerity of his voice had Seungmin lost for words. He looked up from Jeongin’s hand, meeting his eyes, and something in them just made him  _ ache. _ He couldn’t explain what it was; couldn’t articulate the way Jeongin looked at him then, something soft as cobwebs hanging in his eyes as his gaze flickered down just a little in a way Seungmin didn’t quite understand but felt that he should. He could feel it just at the edges of his mind, what should happen when humans looked at each other that way, but he just couldn’t quite reach it.

Jeongin shifted, just slightly, drawing closer by an increment too small for Seungmin to measure.

"Jeongin?" Hyunjin called from the living room. "Can I borrow a towel? It’s raining buckets out there."

The moment broke.

"Sure," Jeongin shouted back, shuffling away from Seungmin and out of bed. "I’ll get you one, hang on."

Seungmin lay still for a moment, feeling whatever had connected them just then slipping away. It wasn’t something he’d been able to name, but it had been  _ important. _ That much he knew.

The sound of laughter pulled him from his thoughts, and he headed out into the living room to see Jeongin wrapping Hyunjin’s entire head in a towel, both of them laughing as Hyunjin tried and failed to fight him off.

"Seungmin- help!"

"Why? It looks like he’s just trying to dry your hair."

_ " Seungmin!" _

Eventually, Hyunjin pulled the towel free, revealing a brilliant smile as he wrapped Jeongin up in a hug that was almost a tackle, cold skin pressed against Jeongin’s until he cried out and begged, breathless with laughter, for him to stop.

"Fine, fine. I really need to re-oil my wings, anyway. They’re not repelling water too well."

"Want me to help?" Seungmin asked.

"If you wouldn’t mind. Hey, you could do one each. It would be faster that way."

Jeongin’s eyes widened. "Me? You want me to-?"

"They’re just wings, Jeongin," Hyunjin said gently, expression softening. Seungmin did his best not to let his face betray his surprise. They’d never let anyone else touch their wings.

But if it was to be anyone, he supposed, it would be Jeongin.

Slowly, Seungmin taught Jeongin how to oil Hyunjin’s feathers; they were using cooking oil, Jeongin not owning anything scented, and spare toothbrushes he kept in his bathroom. It was nothing glamourous, but it would do the job, and Hyunjin seemed too careful with Jeongin’s feelings to complain about it.

Jeongin got the gist of the motion quickly, testing it out gently on a few feathers for Seungmin’s approval.

"That’s it," Seungmin confirmed. "It’s like you’ve been doing it all your life." Jeongin ducked his head at the praise, smiling slightly as he glanced at Seungmin out of the corner of his eye. Seungmin felt the urge to reach out and touch his cheek softly, encourage Jeongin to look at him properly, but he shook it off.

They worked in near silence for a while, occasionally permeated by Seungmin’s soft hums of approval at Jeongin’s work, until Hyunjin sighed loudly, stretching out his arms.

"Can you sing to me?" he asked, leaning over his shoulder to look at Seungmin. "The way you did the other day."

"Do you want the same song?"

"Anything is fine."

Gently, Seungmin nudged Jeongin with an elbow. "Want to sing together?" he asked, and Jeongin’s eyes went wide in the way Seungmin was learning to love so dearly.

"You- you want me to sing?"

"I’d like that, petal," Hyunjin said softly, tone saturated with tenderness, and Jeongin flushed a little.

"Ok," he mumbled, and Seungmin smiled.

"I’ll start, and you just join in when you want, ok?"

Jeongin started singing just as Seungmin reached the third line; his voice was soft, unsure, but as they sang on he seemed to grow more confident, smiling at Seungmin as their voices rose before dropping gently into the second stanza. Hyunjin sighed happily, barely audible, and when Seungmin glanced up at him, his expression was one of pure contentment.

Seungmin had reached the end of Hyunjin’s wing by the time their song ended; Jeongin was a few inches behind, working more slowly.

"I could listen to you two sing forever," Hyunjin murmured, tilting his head back and Seungmin got the impression that he was almost falling asleep.

"I only know the one song," Jeongin joked lightly, and Hyunjin glanced at his affectionately over his shoulder.

"We should teach you more," he said. "I think there’s magic in your voice."

He was right, Seungmin realised. Jeongin’s voice brought joy in the way Hyunjin’s often brought him peace; it danced in his chest, bright and shining as silver-dust, rising and falling with his voice.

"I think someone in your family must have been a witch," Seungmin agreed. "It was there when you were scrying, too. There’s magic in your blood."

"Is that… is that common in humans?" Jeongin asked. He seemed a little in awe of the idea that he might have any kind of magic in him, eyes shining with it.

"No," Hyunjin murmured. "Very rare indeed." He laughed. "Maybe you are going to Hogwarts after all."

"Maybe I am," Jeongin agreed, laughing along with him. "Only if you two come with me."

"Not sure the robes would fit over our wings," Seungmin pointed out, and Hyunjin swatted at him vaguely.

"It doesn’t  _ matter.  _ We’d be at  _ Hogwarts _ ."

"Yeah,” Seungmin agreed. “I guess we would."

Seungmin and Hyunjin switched places once Jeongin was done with Hyunjin’s wing, sitting back and letting the two of them gently run the brushes over his feathers. It felt nice, to have both of them there, their quiet conversation lulling him into something like sleep. They were talking about Hogwarts still, he thought, the lessons they’d attend together, the things in the castle they’d like to see. The two of them seemed to bring out something childish in each other, something bright and warm and lovely, and it made Seungmin’s heart sing to hear them. Hyunjin, especially, hadn’t been so openly happy as this for a long while. Seungmin made him laugh, certainly, but never with the brightness Jeongin did; it had been a long, long time since the two of them were new friends, marvelling at every connection they felt with each other. They’d settled into something more comfortable, all old in-jokes and the warm familiarity of each other’s touches. But with Jeongin, all of it was new. Seungmin felt the same way, to a degree; he just felt  _ more  _ when he was around Jeongin. As if his heart were beating in technicolour.

"I think he’s falling asleep," he heard Hyunjin whisper, a hand gently brushing his hair from his forehead.

"He looks peaceful," Jeongin agreed. There was a warmth to his tone, a fondness that Seungmin couldn’t quantify. "Should we wait to play Mario Kart? I know he’s not good at it, but it feels mean to play without him."

"Yes," Hyunjin said softly. "Let’s wait." There was a pressure against Seungmin’s forehead then, something unlike the soft brush of fingertips, and for a moment he was certain he had felt the warmth of breath there. Had Hyunjin just kissed him? A chaste kiss, admittedly, meant only to wish him sweet dreams, but a kiss all the same. They’d never done that before. Never crossed that line.

But there was a hand stroking gently across the bone of his wing, rhythmic and light, and Seungmin fell asleep before he could consider it any further.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch me pushing the Ineffable Husbands agenda...
> 
> Next update Sunday! <3

Seungmin awoke to find himself alone in the living room. He lay still for a moment, hearing soft voices from Jeongin’s room, and got to his feet, wincing a little at the stiffness in his neck.

Jeongin and Hyunjin, he found, were struggling to stick something up on Jeongin’s wall; Hyunjin was holding a chair steady as Jeongin stood on it, pulling blobs of something sticky off a block.

"Hey Seungmin! Look what I found." Jeongin reached for Hyunjin’s hand and hopped down off the chair, gesturing at the poster he’d just stuck up.

Seungmin tilted his head, examining the symbols on the poster. There were more of them than he could really get his head around, and only a few that he recognised. "What is it?" he asked, and Jeongin grinned brightly.

"They’re alchemical symbols," Jeongin explained. "Felix got it for me ages ago, from the occult shop his friend’s grandma used to run, and all the Harry Potter reminded me that I had it." He pointed with his free hand at the first four symbols, the other still holding Hyunjin’s. "Those triangles are the elements. Fire, water, earth, and air. Then you’ve got the planets, each one representing a metal. And then these." He pointed to the final three symbols. "The three primes. Tria Prima. Mercury, salt, and sulphur."

"What do they mean?" Seungmin asked.

"A lot of things. In religious imagery, they can represent the holy trinity. They can be parts of the mind. Paracelsus believed they were the three main causes of disease. They can be human nature, too." In turn, he pointed to each symbol. "The mind. The body. The spirit. All working in tandem to create something whole." He grinned sheepishly. "I didn’t know any of this. Felix had to teach me."

_ They’re like us, _ Seungmin thought to himself.  _ The three of us, working together and making each other better.  _ He didn’t say it out loud.

But Hyunjin did. "Seungmin, you, and me," he murmured, squeezing Jeongin’s hand. "The mind, the body, and the spirit."

Jeongin’s expression softened into something pensive, and Seungmin felt their knuckles brush as Jeongin reached for his hand. "Yeah," he agreed. "I guess we are."

Seungmin’s thoughts ran over and over that conversation as he lay on the sofa that night, listening to Hyunjin and Jeongin talk quietly in Jeongin’s room; they always stayed up late when it was Hyunjin’s turn to sleep in his bed, murmuring softly to one another until after midnight. Seungmin wondered what they talked about, sometimes.

They’d all had the same thought, back in Jeongin’s room. They belonged together, somehow. The three of them. Mercury, salt, and sulphur, combining to make something new. Something strong, and solid, and something that felt more like home than Seungmin had ever felt.

He and Hyunjin had been told to take as long as they needed to heal Jeongin. Perhaps that meant longer than a matter of weeks, or months. Perhaps the two of them had integrated themselves so thoroughly that this would become something permanent. Jeongin and his two angels, cycling through the years together.

But Jeongin would grow old, he realised. Would fade and die and slowly turn to dust. And then it would be just the two of them again.

Just as it had been before.

Somehow, the thought of returning to a life without Jeongin didn’t particularly appeal.

From the bedroom, Jeongin’s laugh carried through the door, followed by Hyunjin frantically shushing him. It warmed Seungmin’s heart to hear the two of them like that; so happy, and so familiar.

No, Seungmin decided. He didn’t like the idea of life without Jeongin in it.

The thought carried into his dreams, sending him spinning through endless repeats of mercury, salt, and sulphur.

* * *

They decided to watch the next Harry Potter film soon after; Jeongin dragged his duvet to the sofa, laughing as he taught Hyunjin how to microwave popcorn. Hyunjin was jumping at the sound, eyes wide as he covered Jeongin’s ears against it. Seungmin felt his heart warm a little at the sight; Hyunjin had always been that way, considerate and kind, helping where he could as Seungmin stood back and waited to see what was best.

"Seungmin," Hyunjin whined. "It’s loud." Rolling his eyes, Seungmin crossed the room to cover Hyunjin’s ears, laughing a little at just how ridiculous the three of them must look. "It looks like it’s going to explode," Hyunjin said, louder than usual so that Jeongin would definitely hear him. "Will it explode?"

"No," Jeongin reassured him, laughing. "It won’t explode." Hyunjin frowned, crinkling his nose, and Jeongin just laughed harder.

Hyunjin outright sobbed at the end of the film; Seungmin had to hold him close, Jeongin reaching across to take his hand. He clung to Seungmin, refusing to let him go once the credits scrolled across the screen, and Seungmin gave Jeongin an apologetic smile.

"It’s ok," Jeongin said brightly, fighting his way out from under the duvet and heading to his room. "I’ll get my other blanket and we can have a sleepover in here."

Seungmin waited, still pinned in Hyunjin’s arms, until Jeongin came back into his field of view, a blanket and a few pillows piled up in his arms. "Are you going to sleep on the floor?" Seungmin asked, and Jeongin nodded.

"It’s a pretty comfortable floor," he pointed out, and Hyunjin hiccoughed a laugh.

"One of us would be fine here if you wanted to sleep on your bed, Jeongin-" Seungmin began, but Jeongin shook his head with a smile.

"I like being around you guys," he said, smile turning a little shy.

"We like being around, you, too," Seungmin told him, and Hyunjin hummed his agreement. He’d stopped crying, for the most part, but his eyes were red and swollen, tear-tracks on his skin.

"Maybe you should wash your face," Jeongin pointed out. "It might make you feel a little better." When Hyunjin didn’t get up, he sighed, disappearing and returning a moment later with a damp flannel. Seungmin took it from him gratefully, encouraging Hyunjin to lift his head a little so that he could wipe away the tears.

"He always gets like this when he cries a lot," he told Jeongin. "Turns into a child."

"Shut up," Hyunjin mumbled, and Seungmin pushed the flannel into his mouth a little, laughing and pulling his hand away when Hyunjin licked it.

"Oh my god," Jeongin said, laughing just as hard as Seungmin. "What are you, ten?"

"I have no idea," Hyunjin answered simply, and stuck out his tongue at both of them.

"Wait, you really don’t know?" Jeongin asked, eyes wide. "You have no idea how old you are?"

"Why would we?" Seungmin asked. "We weren’t, and then we were, and we still are."

"Huh," Jeongin replied. "I guess if I were as old as you two probably are, I’d want to forget about it, too." Hyunjin pouted, picking up a pillow to throw at him, and Jeongin grinned as he caught it and tucked it underneath his head. "Thanks."

Seungmin watched Hyunjin open and close his mouth, apparently torn between wanting to throw some kind of insult and not knowing how. He settled for a vague grumble, hiding a smile by pushing his face into the crook of Seungmin’s neck, and Jeongin smiled fondly at him.

"Come on," Seungmin said, patting Hyunjin on the back. "We won’t be able to sleep at all if you cling like that."

Reluctantly, Hyunjin released him, settling a little way away and adjusting his wings so that they weren’t pressing against the back of the sofa. "That better?"

"Great," Seungmin agreed. "You comfy down there, Jeongin?"

"Yup. Like I said, it’s a good floor." He grinned, and Seungmin couldn’t help grinning back. He didn’t quite know how to express the way he felt when Jeongin was happy. It was a good feeling, at any rate.

"If you change your mind just let me know. I’ll switch with you," Seungmin offered.

Jeongin shook his head. "If I’m not comfortable, I’ll just get Hyunjin to throw another pillow at me."

Hyunjin immediately grabbed the nearest pillow and pulled it to his chest, sticking out his tongue again. Jeongin laughed, but he sounded a little tired this time, the sound softer, clinging to the space in Seungmin’s chest like a burr.

"Ok. Lights out?"

"Yeah."

It took barely ten minutes for all of them to slip into their dreams, safe and happy in each other’s company.

* * *

All three of them woke late, the sun almost at its peak by the time Jeongin shambled sleepily across to the kitchen to get something to eat. He was filling out a little, Seungmin noted, his t-shirt not hanging quite so awfully off his shoulders. His cheekbones were still sharp, hollowing his cheeks, but Seungmin was starting to suspect that was just the way he was. There was beauty in it, he thought, as there was in frost and shining spider’s eyes.

He smiled as Jeongin sat back down in his mess of blankets, bowl of cereal in his lap. "Good morning."

"Morning. Is Hyunjin still asleep?"

"Yeah. He’s always slept longer than me."

"Any reason why?"

"I think his dreams are more vivid than mine," Seungmin said, brushing a strand of hair from Hyunjin’s forehead. "He clings to them more."

"What do angels dream about?" Jeongin asked.

Seungmin shrugged. "Whatever humans do, I suppose. Perhaps there are some differences, but not many."

"I don’t think you guys are that different from us at all, really," Jeongin pointed out. "I mean, you get the wings and the magic, but… talking to you guys is just like hanging out with my human friends."

"And you’re just like our friends back home," Seungmin admitted. "You remind me of Minho, in all honesty."

"Oh? What’s he like?"

"Ridiculous."

"Hey!"

"And clever," Seungmin continued. "And funny. And kind." Jeongin blushed, looking down at his cereal, and Seungmin smiled. "You’d like him. Although I feel like the two of you would tease Hyunjin to his wit’s end."

"He doesn’t mind it, does he? When I tease him."

Seungmin snorted. "Jeongin, he loves everything you do. You should see the way he looks at you sometimes."

Jeongin’s smile faltered a little, some quieter expression replacing it, and Seungmin wondered if he’d said something wrong. But Hyunjin stirred before he could ask, stretching his legs with enough force that he almost kicked Seungmin in the chin.

"Watch out," Seungmin warned, catching his ankle, and Hyunjin blinked at him a few times before he seemed to realise where he was.

"Sorry," he murmured, pulling his ankle free of Seungmin’s grip. "Achy."

"Maybe because you slept curled up in a ball," Seungmin pointed out kindly, and Hyunjin smiled sleepily at him.

"Hi, Jeongin," he said as he curled back in on himself. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. A couple of bad dreams."

Seungmin frowned. "We didn’t wake up. We can normally feel it when you have nightmares."

Jeongin shrugged. "I guess they’re getting better. They weren’t… it’s not that they weren’t bad, but…" he gave a weak smile. "I had to get used to them at some point, didn’t I?"

"Come up here," Hyunjin told him. "If we couldn’t cuddle you in the night, we will now."

Setting aside his empty bowl, Jeongin obligingly climbed up onto the sofa into the space between the two of them, laughing slightly as Hyunjin wrapped his long limbs around him.

"That’s better," Hyunjin murmured, and Jeongin nodded.

"Yeah," he agreed softly. "It is. Do you guys want to watch the next film today?"

"Not right now," Hyunjin said. Seungmin thought he might be falling asleep again. "Later."

"Later," Seungmin agreed. "Hyunjin obviously hasn’t had enough sleep."

"You two are being so mean to me lately," Hyunjin remarked, pouting, and Jeongin grinned, resting his cheek on Hyunjin’s hair.

"It’s because we love you," he said.

"Love you, too," Hyunjin said softly, and he lapsed back into sleep before anyone could say another word.

"I think he’ll be like that for a while," Seungmin said, and Jeongin nodded.

"That’s fine. I’m comfortable. Are you?"

"Yeah," Seungmin said, settling his head down on Jeongin’s shoulder. He didn’t like that Jeongin had suffered his nightmares alone, and found himself wanting to keep him closer so that Jeongin knew he was cared for. "I am."

* * *

The sun was beginning to set by the time the three of them collected themselves enough to put on the next film.

"This one gets really dark," Jeongin warned, handing Hyunjin four packets of tissues he’d taken out of a drawer. "And after this, there’s only one more to go."

"Don’t I get tissues?" Seungmin asked, and Jeongin patted his arm.

"You don’t cry nearly so much as Hyunjin. He gets priority."

Seungmin snorted a little. "Fine," he agreed.

True to Jeongin’s prediction, Hyunjin was sobbing within ten minutes of the film starting. "The  _ owl _ ," he wailed. "Why her?" Jeongin just patted his hand gently, resting his head comfortingly on Hyunjin’s shoulder.

When Jeongin’s breathing first caught in his throat, Seungmin didn’t think much of it; the film was tense, after all, even if Jeongin had seen it before. But something in the air shifted, Jeongin freezing completely against his side, and it took a moment for Seungmin’s gaze to focus on the figure that had appeared behind the television.

"It’s not real," he managed to whisper after a moment, reaching for Jeongin’s hand. He could see Woojin’s eyes shining dully in the dark, wide and pleading and pained. "Jeongin, it’s not real."

"Help me," Woojin begged, and Jeongin sobbed, trying to turn his face away. "Please."

"It’s not real," Seungmin whispered again, and he saw Hyunjin nod in his periphery, climbing off the sofa to sit between Jeongin and the vision, blocking his view of it. Tears were still running down his cheeks, but he made no effort to wipe them away.

"Jeongin," he said softly. "It’s ok. He’s not really here. It’s just the three of us."

"I’ll do it," Woojin said, voice rough and broken. "If you promise not to hurt him." Seungmin watched Hyunjin close his eyes as though he’d been struck, his breath hitching.

"I promise you, Jeongin, he’s not here," he said again.

"He’s right," Hyunjin added, wrapping an arm around Jeongin’s shoulders and pulling him close. "It’s just the three of us. You’re safe. It’s ok, petal."

They held him like that, slowly pulling his fear away until the image faded, Woojin’s voice lulling into silence. The film played on behind them, and Seungmin gently pulled the remote from Jeongin’s free hand to pause it.

"I thought they were going away," Jeongin said in a small voice.

"They are," Seungmin told him. "Little by little."

"I just want it to stop," Jeongin said tiredly, and Seungmin wished he could take away all the pain in his voice for good, help him forget everything that had passed.

"I know," Hyunjin murmured. "And it will. Just not tonight."

"Tomorrow?" Jeongin asked distantly. "Will it stop tomorrow?"

"Maybe," Hyunjin told him, voice thick with tears. "Maybe tomorrow. Go to sleep now, ok?" He leaned close, pressing his lips to Jeongin’s forehead, and Seungmin watched Jeongin’s eyes close, feeling his breathing slow against his skin.

For a moment, neither of them spoke. "Turn the film off properly?" Seungmin suggested eventually, and Hyunjin nodded, taking the remote from him. The hum of the DVD player faded, and only the faint drone of the city outside broke the silence.

"He hasn’t had one that bad in a while," Hyunjin said softly.

"No. He hasn’t."

"Do you think it’ll get worse again now?"

"I don’t know. I hope not."

"Me, too." Hyunjin sat on the arm of the sofa, staring at the city lights through the window. The glow of them cast strange shadows over his features, half in light and half in darkness, and Seungmin just watched him for a moment. "This isn’t what we thought it would be, is it?" Hyunjin asked softly.

"No."

"But it’s not bad. I like it here. I like being with him." He turned, smiling gently at Seungmin. "I like being with you. We don’t normally get this much time to ourselves."

"We don’t," Seungmin agreed. "It’s nice."

"Maybe…" Hyunjin began, pausing and biting his lip. "Maybe we should stay a while. Once he’s better. Just to see what the rest of the world is like these days."

"It’s been a long time since we explored," Seungmin said thoughtfully. "Maybe it would do us good."

"Yeah." With a sigh, Hyunjin climbed down, moving to curl up beside Jeongin. "I’m going to try to get some sleep."

"Take the bed," Seungmin suggested. "I’ll keep an eye on him."

"Are you sure?"

"You’re too tall to sleep here, Hyunjin. Go stretch out."

"Ok," Hyunjin agreed quietly. For a moment, he leaned a fraction, and Seungmin hoped that he would press a kiss to his forehead as he had with Jeongin. But he moved away before he could complete the motion, heading to the bedroom. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight. Sweet dreams."

"You too."

Listening to the door click softly shut behind him, Seungmin closed his eyes, and did his best to fall asleep with Jeongin still in his arms.

* * *

Seungmin was awoken by a breeze; the doors onto the little balcony were open, he realised, Jeongin’s shadow blocking out the sunshine.

"Jeongin?" he murmured, sitting up slowly. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I’m just… thinking."

Seungmin wandered over to him, reaching for his hand. Part of him wanted to stand closer behind him, wrap his arms around Jeongin’s waist and lean his cheek against the back of his shoulder, but he decided against it. Besides the fact that it was most likely a little inappropriate, Jeongin still intermittently had flashbacks and nightmares of being held from behind. “Thinking about what?” he asked.

Jeongin turned, expression holding a gravity Seungmin didn’t think he’d seen from him before; it was thoughtful, and considering, and took Seungmin’s breath away a little. "I just… I’ve been thinking that things have been getting better lately. They’re not perfect, I know they’re not- there was last night, after all, but…" he turned again, staring out over the city. "I think I want to try to go out there. Not far, I don’t- I don’t think I could go far. And not on my own." He was shaking, Seungmin realised, the thought of the world outside his area of safety still enough to terrify him, but his jaw was set with determination.

"You could ask Felix," Seungmin suggested, squeezing Jeongin’s hand a little. Even more than before, he wanted to hold him, pull him close and tell him just how brave he was, how proud Seungmin was of him, how he wanted nothing for him except happiness. "I wish Hyunjin or I could go with you, but- you could ask Felix."

"I might," Jeongin murmured. "I just… I want to go out there. I do. But I can’t even step outside the door, Seungmin. I tried earlier, while you were still asleep, and I just… I couldn’t."

Seungmin felt his heart tighten in his chest a little at the thought of Jeongin standing frozen before the open door, breath quick and shallow in his throat. "Oh, Jeongin. I’m sorry. You could have woken one of us, we might have been able to help-"

Jeongin shook his head slightly. "You both looked so… you look peaceful. When you’re asleep." He flushed a little, as though he’d said something strange or embarrassing, and Seungmin resisted the urge to lay a palm on his cheek and feel the warmth there.

"We’re always willing to help you, Jeongin," he said softly. "Always."

Jeongin surprised him then, stepping forwards and wrapping his arms around Seungmin’s waist in a hug without prompting. "Thank you," he said quietly, resting his cheek gently on Seungmin’s hair, and it took Seungmin a moment to remember to return his embrace.

"You don’t have to thank me," he whispered. "I care about you, Jeongin. I want you to be happy."

"I am," Jeongin replied after a moment. "I know things could be better, but- I’m happy." His arms tightened around Seungmin for a moment before he drew away, fingertips brushing the down at the base of Seungmin’s wings as he did so. He smiled tentatively, fragile as autumn leaves, and Seungmin did his best to smile back, trying not to think about the way he missed the feeling of Jeongin’s hands against his skin.

"Want to watch something until Hyunjin wakes up?" Jeongin asked. "Or play a video game, or something."

Seungmin tilted his head. "That feels mean. You two didn’t play without me when I fell asleep after you cleaned my wings."

"You- you heard that?"

"I did. It was very considerate of you." Jeongin blushed again, and Seungmin laughed. "I mean it. It was kind."

"I mean… it just…" Jeongin cleared his throat. "What do you want to do, then? If we’re too nice to play Minecraft without him."

"Let’s watch something. Anything you want."

Jeongin thought for a moment, smiling slowly. "You know what? I think there’s something you’d enjoy."

The two of them were three episodes into Good Omens when Hyunjin wandered in, draping himself over the back of the sofa behind Jeongin, chin hooked over his shoulder.

"Who’s that?" he asked sleepily. "Why are his eyes like that?"

"Crowley," Seungmin replied.

"He’s a demon," Jeongin added.

"Why are you watching something about demons?" Hyunjin mumbled, but he shuffled around to sit beside Seungmin anyway, tapping his knuckles gently.

"Because it’s funny," Jeongin told him. "And I thought Seungmin would like it."

"What about me?" Hyunjin complained, and Jeongin laughed fondly.

"Yeah, I think you’ll like it too. But I think it’s more Seungmin’s sense of humour."

Seungmin stopped to process that for a moment. It was rare that anyone saw them as two separate people, really. And they were; no matter how adamant they were that they came as a pair, that they wouldn’t be separated, they were  _ different _ . Jeongin was the first person to really see that in a long time.

"Jeongin was going to ask Felix over later," he said to Hyunjin, interrupting Hyunjin’s slightly awestruck silence. Perhaps he had been thinking the same things Seungmin had.

"Oh?" Hyunjin asked.

"Yeah," Jeongin muttered. "I want… I want to go outside. I want his help."

Hyunjin’s eyes shone. "That’s brilliant, Jeongin! I’m so glad you feel brave enough to do that. Just let us know when he’s coming, and we’ll be out the way."

Jeongin smiled weakly. He seemed a little more afraid now that the idea of going outside was something possible, something within his reach. Seungmin reached for his hand. " It doesn’t have to be today, Jeongin," he said gently. "It can be whenever feels right."

"I think…" Jeongin began. "I think I do want to do it. Today. I’ll text Felix once this episode is over."

"Ok," Seungmin agreed warmly, and Hyunjin beamed, reaching across Seungmin to brush his fingertips against Jeongin’s arm.

Seungmin and Hyunjin disappeared outside as soon as the episode was over, hiding out of sight behind a section of the roof. Hyunjin was gripping Seungmin’s hand almost hard enough to bruise, eyes bright with something Seungmin couldn’t name.

"Do you think he’ll be ok?" Hyunjin asked in a whisper once they heard Felix’s voice coming from Jeongin’s flat; it was far deeper than Jeongin’s, Seungmin had noticed, and he laughed more often.

"I think he’ll be just fine," Seungmin told him soothingly. "He has Felix."

"But what if he needs our help?"

"Hyunjin…"

"I just want to check," Hyunjin pleaded. "Just once. To see how he’s getting on."

Seungmin hesitated, listening to the silence that had descended on the flat. "Ok," he agreed. "We’ll just check."

Together, they peered in through the window, doing their best to stay out of Felix’s line of sight. He and Jeongin were standing on either side of the open door, Felix’s hands stretched out for Jeongin to take, but Jeongin wasn’t moving.

Without warning, Seungmin felt Hyunjin draw back his wings and push them forwards with as much force as he could muster. A gust of air flew through Jeongin’s flat, hitting him solidly in the back and pushing him through the door.

"Hyunjin!" Seungmin hissed, pushing him back away from the window in case Felix happened to look in their direction.

"What? He needed help, and it worked."

"He was doing fine on his own!"

"I guess I’m out now," he heard Jeongin say quietly, and Hyunjin shot him a pointed look.

"Fine. It worked. Come on, we need to stay out of sight."

Hyunjin didn’t let go of Seungmin’s hand once they’d retreated back to their hiding place, running his thumb softly over Seungmin’s skin. "Don’t be angry with me, Min. He needed help."

Seungmin sighed. "I’m not angry." He squeezed Hyunjin’s hand, nudging him gently with a wing. "I’m never angry with you."

"Never?"

"Never," Seungmin repeated, and Hyunjin smiled.

"I could never be angry with you, either," he said. "I love you too much." Seungmin’s heart jumped in his chest at the words, and he wondered vaguely if Hyunjin could feel his pulse spike in his wrist.

"I love you, too," he managed to say. It wasn’t something they’d ever said before. Had always been a given between them, never  _ needing _ to be said.

But Seungmin supposed that everything was changing lately.

"So," Hyunjin said decisively. "Since you and Jeongin watched that show without me, fill me in on what I missed. I want to watch the rest of it."

In as much detail as he could, Seungmin filled in the plot of Good Omens, doing his best to help Hyunjin get a sense of the characters. Hyunjin’s eyes went soft when Seungmin explained the length of Crowley and Aziraphale’s friendship, and he reached to brush Seungmin’s hair from his forehead.

"Like us," he said softly. "They’re like us."

The tenderness in his expression, pure and soft as dusk, had Seungmin’s mouth going a little dry, heart beating too fast in his ears. "Yeah," he agreed. "They’re like us." He tried not to think of the fact that Jeongin had told him that most of the fans thought that Crowley and Aziraphale were in love, the fact that he had asked if Hyunjin and Seungmin were romantically involved, the fact that Hyunjin had just said that he  _ loved _ Seungmin-

"I don’t think that’s what it’s like, though," Hyunjin continued, apparently oblivious to Seungmin’s internal torment. "Falling, I mean."

"What, you think we couldn’t saunter vaguely downwards?" Seungmin tried to joke. Hyunjin just shook his head slowly, staring out at the sunset.

"It’s original sin, isn’t it?" he said quietly. "That makes us Fall. And I don’t think we become demons."

"No," Seungmin agreed. "I think we just end up human. But I don’t want to think about that."

"No," Hyunjin agreed distantly. "Let’s not." His heart didn’t seem to be in the statement, and Seungmin wondered exactly what he was thinking about Falling that had him so distracted. He found himself blushing at the idea that Hyunjin was perhaps considering, in any regard, the concept of original sin. It wasn’t something he’d ever heard any angel speak of, and the idea of it seemed somewhat alien to him.

"They’re back," Hyunjin whispered, and Seungmin shook himself out of his thoughts, trying to focus on Jeongin. He was scared, Seungmin could tell, but not in a particularly negative way; there was pride there, too, pride that left him glowing, and Seungmin wished he could embrace him.

"I hope Felix leaves quickly," Hyunjin admitted, and Seungmin laughed slightly.

"Me too."

Around an hour and a half passed before they saw Felix walking away down the street. The two of them ducked into the flat as quickly as possible, Hyunjin immediately barrelling into Jeongin and holding him tight, picking him up and spinning him around until both of them were breathless with laughter.

"You did it!" Hyunjin cried, and Jeongin smiled as brightly as the rising moon.

"I did it," he confirmed, pulling Hyunjin in for another hug.

"We’re so proud of you," Seungmin told him, and Hyunjin reached out to pull him into their embrace before he could say anymore.

"Thanks," Jeongin said softly once Seungmin was pressed close against him, and Seungmin thought he felt a blush rise in his cheeks yet again; it seemed to happen more and more often lately when he was close to them.  _ It’s just because of what Hyunjin said about love, _ he tried to tell himself. It wasn’t very convincing.

"Come on," he said. "I filled Hyunjin in on the first few episodes of Good Omens. Let’s keep watching."

Jeongin nodded, pulling away from Hyunjin a little despite his pout. "Good idea. I think Felix got me more popcorn last time he shopped for me, I’ll dig it out."

The three of them spent the evening in relative peace; Jeongin was twitchier than usual, the volume on the television turned down lower than as he curled into Hyunjin’s side, smiling gratefully when Seungmin pressed close against his other side. They made him feel safe, Seungmin realised, and the thought of it warmed him. He hoped they could always have that effect on him. For as long as he needed.

Perhaps forever, Seungmin thought hesitantly. If Jeongin wanted them to stay.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a sad one today... and then only two more to go! I can't believe I'm so close to the end of this au now... <3

The morning began with the bright, bold crash of something falling; Seungmin bolted upright and rushed out of Jeongin’s room to see what the noise had been caused by, hoping Jeongin hadn’t reacted too badly to the sound. He immediately hissed in pain, having trodden on a piece of broken ceramic, and gritted his teeth as he bent down to pull it from his foot.

"Stop," he told Hyunjin as he rose from the sofa, eyes wide with shock. "Don’t put your feet down."

"You’re bleeding," Hyunjin said softly, eyes wide. "Seungmin, you’re bleeding."

"Yeah, I know- check on Jeongin for me? I can’t see him over the counter."

He watched Hyunjin stand carefully on the sofa, climbing across to the counter. "He dropped a bowl, I think," he explained. "Jeongin? Are you ok?"

"What’s he doing?" Seungmin asked, pulling his hand away from his foot. The blood was flowing in earnest now, and he felt a little sick when he looked at it. He didn’t think he’d ever bled before.

"He’s curled up on the floor. I think the noise scared him. Jeongin?" he called softly. "Jeongin, can you look at me?"

There was no response, and Seungmin watched as Hyunjin carefully climbed over the counter and disappeared behind it, wings rising up towards the ceiling. "Hey," Seungmin heard him murmur. "It’s ok. It’s just a bowl. Nothing’s going to hurt you."

Seungmin sat quietly, trying to ignore the pain in his foot. The little puddle of blood around it was increasing, and he wondered just how deep the ceramic had pierced. "Hyunjin?" he called. "Can you- can you get me something? To mop up the blood. Just quickly."

To his surprise, it was Jeongin who rose up from behind the counter first, wiping away tears and picking his way across the floor. He went pale at the sight of Seungmin, bleeding on the floor, and for a moment Seungmin thought that he might faint. But he swallowed, looking away, and murmured an apology as he stepped over Seungmin to the bathroom. He emerged a moment later clutching a little green box, sitting beside Seungmin and pulling out a roll of bandages.

"I’m not- I might not be good at this," he said quietly. "It’ll probably hurt. But it should stop the bleeding."

"Ok," Seungmin said gently. "I trust you." Jeongin gave him a tentative smile, and Seungmin felt Hyunjin land beside him, holding tight to his hand and pulling Seungmin’s head onto his shoulder.  Seungmin was glad of it; it did hurt when Jeongin first pressed the bandage to the wound, the pain making him hiss through his teeth and press his face into Hyunjin’s neck.

"Sorry," Jeongin muttered, and Seungmin shook his head. The process wasn’t long after that; Jeongin seemed a little sickened by the blood on his hands, washing them over and over until Hyunjin pulled him gently back into his arms, soothing him gently and smiling apologetically at Seungmin over his shoulder. Perhaps it had reminded him of his nightmares, Seungmin thought; the ones where it was Woojin’s throat that had been slit, not his own, blood flowing too fast for him to escape it.

"We should sweep up," Seungmin suggested once Jeongin seemed a little calmer, and Jeongin hurried to get the dustpan and brush, Hyunjin crouching beside Seungmin and sliding an arm around his waist to help him stand. Seungmin leaned heavily on him for a moment once they were upright, pressed close, and he did his best to ignore the way Hyunjin looked down at him, arm warm and secure around his waist.

"Sofa?" Hyunjin asked, and Seungmin nodded, half-hopping over so that he didn’t have to lean on Hyunjin quite so much.

"Elevate your foot," Jeongin called a little shakily from the kitchen. "Prop it up on a cushion, or something."

"He seems more himself," Seungmin murmured, and Hyunjin nodded slightly.

"I think he’s just a little anxious today. Noise to a minimum."

"Good plan."

Hyunjin sat beside him a little while longer while Jeongin swept the floor, running his hands gently through Seungmin’s hair. He did his best not to lean into the touch so much as he wanted to; Hyunjin seemed a little confused by his reticence, and Seungmin wondered just how distant he’d been lately in his attempt to pretend he wasn’t starting to feel something he shouldn’t for his best friend. " Shall I sing to you?" Hyunjin asked as he drew his hand away from Seungmin’s hair. "It might help you heal a little faster."

"Ok," Seungmin replied quietly. He didn’t think he could resist something so familiar, so lovely as Hyunjin singing. But he didn’t expect Hyunjin to pull him so close as he did so, his ear to Hyunjin’s heartbeat and Hyunjin’s hands resting at the base of his wings.

"Comfortable?" Hyunjin asked, voice humming in his chest, and Seungmin made a faint sound of agreement before Hyunjin began to sing. It wasn’t one of their old songs; it was something he had heard on the television, Seungmin thought, lyrics gentle and romantic, and he wondered vaguely if Hyunjin knew the connotations of singing it whilst holding him so close.

He felt Jeongin settle on the sofa around halfway through the song, listening in silence as he scrolled through something on his laptop. "Are you ok?" Seungmin asked him once the song was over, lifting himself a little so that he could look over Hyunjin’s shoulder.

Jeongin nodded, smiling although he still looked a little pale. "Yeah. I just… the bowl slipped out my hands, and the sound of it kind of freaked me out."

"What are you up to now?" Hyunjin asked softly, tilting his head back to look at Jeongin upside down.

"Emailing the uni," Jeongin admitted. "I just… I think I need to tell them that I won’t be able to make it to the enrolment stuff. I know I’ve been out now, but… with what happened today… I just don’t think I’m ready."

"I’m proud of you for deciding that," Seungmin told him softly, shifting back so that he could sit apart from Hyunjin. He ignored the way Hyunjin seemed reluctant to let him go. "I’m proud of you for taking care of yourself."

Jeongin shrugged. "It’s better than just not showing up," he pointed out.

"Want to play something once you’re done?" Hyunjin suggested, and Jeongin nodded, smiling fondly at the way Hyunjin’s eyes lit up.

"It better not be Mario Kart," Seungmin grumbled, and Jeongin laughed.

"We’ll try Smash Bros again," he promised. "You weren’t so bad at that."

The three of them spent most of the day playing, pausing once or twice so that Jeongin could change the bandages on Seungmin’s foot. The bleeding had slowed quickly, and the cut didn’t seem deep, but Jeongin still insisted on cleaning it.

"I don’t want it getting infected," he murmured, and so Seungmin sat still while he gently wiped away the dry blood with warm water, turning the basin of water he was using slowly pink.

"I didn’t even know we could bleed," Hyunjin remarked softly, and Seungmin hummed his agreement. "I suppose it makes sense." None of them mentioned the image of Woojin they’d all seen, battered and bloodied, wings stained with the rust of it.

Seungmin found himself rather more tired than usual, almost falling asleep halfway through the game.

"Maybe because your body’s trying to heal," Jeongin suggested. "You should rest."

"Mm. You two can keep playing," Seungmin agreed sleepily.

"Nah, we’ll have a rematch tomorrow," Jeongin told him, and Hyunjin nodded, offering Seungmin his arm so that he could help him limp to Jeongin’s bed.

He fell asleep almost instantly once he was there, almost missing the way Hyunjin pressed his lips tenderly to Seungmin’s hair as he settled.  _ Perhaps he does love me the way he thinks he can love _ , Seungmin thought distantly as he drifted to sleep.  _ Perhaps he was right. _

The next day, the three of them played again; Hyunjin curled up close beside Seungmin, reaching to take his hand every time he won a match, laughing brightly and beautifully. Seungmin couldn’t quite ignore the ache in his chest that time. He’d thought, only hours ago, that Hyunjin might be right about the way he loved.

And if Hyunjin could love like that, couldn’t Seungmin, too?

He watched Hyunjin’s expression as he concentrated, laughing as Jeongin’s character disappeared off the map, and thought that maybe, he wouldn’t mind admitting that he had been wrong.

* * *

"Ok, are we sure that we’re ready?" Jeongin asked, holding the remote at arm’s length, pointed ominously towards the television.

"Ready," Seungmin said resolutely, and Hyunjin nodded slowly. They were about to watch the last film in the Harry Potter series and frankly, Seungmin didn’t think that he was ready at all. But Jeongin pressed play, settling back into the space between him and Hyunjin, pulling his duvet up over them as the film began.

Seungmin didn’t think he’d ever cried quite so much. He could hear Hyunjin sobbing quietly from Jeongin’s other side, curled against him. Jeongin had looped an arm over his shoulder, rubbing his back gently, but Seungmin could see that his eyes were shining too.

The epilogue, when it arrived, took both of them a little by surprise.

"They got married?" Hyunjin asked softly. He sounded as though he could barely get the words out, too choked by tears. "They- oh."

Seungmin watched as the characters passed by on the screen, an ache rising in his chest at the sight of them somehow. They’d been through so much. They’d been through trauma and war and suffering and here they were at the end. Happy. In love.

Without thinking, he glanced over at Hyunjin. Hyunjin, his best friend of thousands of years. Hyunjin, who he thought he was finally ready to admit he felt something more for.

And Hyunjin was gazing, soft and sweet and hopeful, at Jeongin.

Seungmin’s chest went tight, heart stuttering a little at the look in Hyunjin’s eyes.  _ Oh _ , he thought distantly.  _ Jeongin _ .

He’d known, really, hadn’t he? The thought hit him like a gale, stopping his breath for a moment as he realised his mistake; he’d acknowledged to himself, over and over, that the way Hyunjin was acting towards him hadn’t changed. He’d tried to use it to convince himself that Hyunjin didn’t love him like that, that all the contact and the sweetness didn’t mean anything beyond what it always had.

And he should have believed it. But he’d gotten too caught up in it; the idea that Hyunjin might love him, might adore him in that fragile, human way. He’d  _ hoped _ for it.

But he’d been wrong. Hyunjin loved Jeongin. It had been Jeongin he had been thinking of when he wondered aloud if angels could fall in love; it had been Jeongin he had called by a gentle term of endearment,  _ his flower petal _ _;_ had allowed to touch his wings when no one else had, stayed awake beside with soft conversations and laughter, expressed over and over a reluctance to leave. And now it was there in his eyes for anyone to see, clear as the first unfurling of spring leaves. He loved  _ Jeongin _ .

Not Seungmin.

And the sudden pain of that was so intense that Seungmin thought he might die there and then.

"My wings are cramping," he muttered, Hyunjin and Jeongin turning to him simultaneously with matching looks of concern. "I need to fly. Sorry."

"That’s ok," Jeongin said, reaching out hesitantly as though to touch his wing. "We can just rewatch the ending when you get back."

"Sure," Seungmin agreed as he limped to the window - his foot had mostly healed, but a bruise had been left behind - and if he was honest, he wasn’t sure how he managed to speak. He felt as though someone had pulled open a hole in his chest, dark and hollow and awful. At least the tears he could feel welling up could be interpreted as pain from his foot or his wing, or leftover emotions from the film.

"Want me to come with you?" Hyunjin called as he headed for the window. "In case you need help." He sounded so gentle, so worried, that Seungmin couldn’t hold back a sob. "Seungmin- you sound like you’re really in pain, let me try to massage the muscles before you-"

Seungmin was gone before he could finish his sentence. He flew out towards the foothills of the mountains without thinking, just trying to get away. Trying to get as far away from Hyunjin and Jeongin and that soft, total adoration as he could.

Eventually, he reached the forest; circling down and slowly folding in his wings, he sat in the trees, unsure of what to do. The bandage around his foot caught on the bark of the branch he had chosen, and he tugged it free, not registering where it fell. The ache in his chest distracted him, pulling at his lungs, hollowing him out, and it was all he could do just to focus on keeping his breathing steady. Why did he feel like this? Was this heartbreak? Was this how humans felt when their love turned against them, taking a piece of them with it as it pulled away?

Because he really was in love with Hyunjin, Seungmin realised. He loved everything about him. Every minutia of his expressions, his voice, his actions. Seungmin was in love with all of it, and that  _ hurt _ . Like a physical ache that he couldn’t escape, bringing tears to his eyes. He was crying in earnest before he could process the lump forming in his throat, curling his wings around himself as best he could to provide some small comfort. Because Hyunjin didn’t love him. Seungmin had spent the days since their conversation about love wondering and analysing every small motion Hyunjin made towards him, thinking each one a love letter in itself, and Hyunjin  _ didn’t love him _ .

It made sense, he told himself again. Hyunjin had always acted that way towards him. Nothing had changed except his perception of it, his interpretation of those gentle smiles and the hours spent cleaning his wings. But Jeongin… Hyunjin hadn’t always been so focused on him. Hadn’t always let his gaze linger the way he did now.  _ That _ was love, Seungmin told himself fiercely, trying to slow his tears. The way Jeongin smiled at Hyunjin, curled into his arms when he slept. The way Hyunjin would wrap his wings around him, press his cheek to Jeongin’s as he held him.

Love. Pure and simple and true.

And perhaps, if he was honest with himself, Seungmin hadn’t only been jealous of the way Hyunjin looked at Jeongin instead of him. Perhaps he had felt this ache every time Jeongin’s hand brushed Hyunjin’s, heart soaring when Jeongin chose to be close to him, sang with him, looked at him as though he was something lovely. Perhaps he loved them both.

Maybe that meant it wasn’t as serious as he thought it was, he tried to convince himself desperately. The fact that he loved both of them so dearly. Maybe that meant that it was just angelic love, all-encompassing and indiscriminate, wrapping both of them up. Not personal, human love. Love of all their small moments, of their flaws and their virtues.

No matter how hard Seungmin tried, he couldn’t quite convince himself of that. Jeongin had loved two people before, hadn’t he? There was proof, then, that it was possible. That it was a fate that could befall Seungmin, too.

He had fallen in love with them, Seungmin let himself admit. With both of them.

And they didn’t want him. He was a friend to them; a companion through the centuries to Hyunjin, and a healer to Jeongin. Nothing more. Not like they were to each other.

He’d go somewhere else for a little while, he decided through his tears. Maybe not home. But somewhere far away, where he wouldn’t be faced with it each and every day. Jeongin was stable enough that Hyunjin could take care of him alone now, and perhaps it would be good for them to have some time alone. Help things along. Because Seungmin wanted them to be happy, he decided around the hole in his chest. They loved each other, and they deserved to be given the space to do so. So, Seungmin would disappear for a little while. Better to go soon, he thought. Before Hyunjin came looking.

Gently, Seungmin unfurled his wings, and with no destination in mind, he took flight, leaving the city behind him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for another sad chapter... I promise it'll all be resolved in Chapter Ten!
> 
> Final update will be on Thursday <3

Almost a week passed before Seungmin saw Hyunjin again. He flew a little further out in that time, just over the mountains to the forests surrounding a little village in the opposing foothills. It held a familiarity that the city didn’t, the clusters of houses around a small village green reminding Seungmin of how this place had been the last time he visited. Simpler times. Better times, perhaps.

He couldn’t quite hold onto that idea. Things had been less complicated, certainly, but they’d also been… less. Seungmin wasn’t sure he wanted to give up the intensity of emotion he’d discovered in these last weeks, even if it meant returning to the way things had always been with Hyunjin. What was it that humans so often said? Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Seungmin couldn’t deny that he was feeling the loss all too keenly. He wondered how long it would take to fade; more than the ache of the idea that Hyunjin and Jeongin didn’t love him, the impossible, hopeless pain of caring for them so much more than he thought they cared for him, he just  _ missed _ them. He wanted to be back by their sides. Wanted to feel them curl into his arms again.

So when he heard Hyunjin call his name, Seungmin thought that he’d imagined it.

He was quickly relieved of that misconception by Hyunjin barrelling into his arms, real and warm and  _ right there _ .

"Seungmin. Oh, Seungmin.  _ Seungmin _ ." It appeared to be all he could say for a moment, holding Seungmin tightly enough that he could barely breathe before pulling back to press their foreheads together, running his hands back over Seungmin’s hair again and again. "Seungmin. You’re here. You’re ok.  _ Seungmin _ ."

"Hi," Seungmin said softly. He didn’t really know what else he  _ could _ say.

_ "Hi?" _ Hyunjin said incredulously, softness disappearing from his tone rather abruptly. "You say you’re going to stretch your wings, disappear for  _ six days _ , and all you have to say is  _ hi?" _

"What do you want me to say?" Seungmin asked tiredly. Hyunjin was pulling away from him to sit opposite him on the branch he’d chosen, and Seungmin wanted nothing more than for him to stop moving back, to stay close enough that Seungmin could hold him. It was an exhausting thought, somehow.

Hyunjin blinked at him. “I don’t… I don’t know,” he admitted. He looked tired, Seungmin noticed, and perhaps a little thin. "Why did you- why are you here, Seungmin? Why are you not back home with us? I had to go and ask Minho if he’d seen you, I had to scry for you, I couldn’t- you went so far away."

Seungmin felt his heart twist at his use of the word  _ us _ . He ignored it, trying to come up with an excuse. Hyunjin watched, face falling as he realised Seungmin wasn’t going to speak.   


"We were so scared," he said, voice shaking. "We thought- you’d said that your wings hurt, so we thought maybe you’d fallen down mid-flight, maybe you were trapped somewhere. I spent the whole night flying around the city, Seungmin. And then-" he broke off, wiping away tears. Seungmin wished that he could shift closer, brush them away himself. He doubted that Hyunjin would let him. "Jeongin just- he wasn’t right, Seungmin. I couldn’t leave him by himself when he was like that, I couldn’t look for you when he just- he just  _ stopped _ , Seungmin, it was like he wasn’t even there."

Seungmin’s heart sank. He hadn’t meant to hurt them. He hadn’t wanted Jeongin to get worse again, hadn’t wanted anything more than to let them be happy.

"Seungmin. Come home." Hyunjin reached for his hands, holding them tight. "Please. We miss you. And if- if you want to talk about why you left-"

"I don’t," Seungmin said softly. "I don’t want to talk about it."

"Ok," Hyunjin said after a long moment. "That’s… that’s ok. Just… come back with me. We need you back with us."

"Sure," Seungmin agreed heavily, and Hyunjin visibly relaxed, eyes shining. He couldn’t refuse him. He just couldn’t. Not now that he’d felt Hyunjin there in his arms again. "I’ll come back."

"Thank you. Seungmin,  _ thank you _ , we missed you so much.  _ I  _ missed you."

"I missed you, too," Seungmin told him, the words catching in his throat. He couldn’t express how happy he was just to have Hyunjin there, wrapping Seungmin’s hands up in his own as though he never wanted to let go.

"Are you ok to fly?" Hyunjin asked anxiously. "If there was really a problem with your wings-"

"There wasn’t," Seungmin admitted quietly. Hyunjin’s face fell. Even like this, he was lovely, Seungmin realised hopelessly. How was he supposed to cope when his best friend was so beautiful?  


He supposed he'd have to learn.

Jeongin looked as though he might cry when Seungmin climbed in through the window. "Hi," Seungmin said awkwardly, and Jeongin’s chin trembled.

"Hi, yourself," he said in reply, and Seungmin couldn’t help but smile.

"Oh, I missed you," he admitted, and Jeongin was in his arms in an instant, holding him just as tightly as Hyunjin had.

The three of them pressed close in Jeongin’s bed that night, arms linked or wrapped around each other to keep from falling, Hyunjin’s wing draped over both of them. It wasn’t the most comfortable arrangement, and Seungmin found himself lying awake long after Hyunjin’s breathing had slowed.

Beside him, Jeongin shifted slightly, eyes shining in the dark. "I didn’t know you were awake," Seungmin murmured, and Jeongin lay in silence for a moment.

"Why-" he began eventually, gaze not breaking from Seungmin’s. "Why did you go?"

Seungmin felt his stomach twist with guilt at the tone of his voice; he sounded so afraid, so unsure of himself. "It wasn’t because of anything you did, Jeongin, it wasn’t- it wasn’t you."

"Then why?"

"I just… I needed time. And I knew that Hyunjin would take care of you."

"That doesn’t mean we don’t want you around. We can be ok and still want you around." Jeongin’s voice was shaking a little, and Seungmin did his best to shuffle closer.

"Hey. Don’t cry. It’s ok."

"Will you stay?" Jeongin asked in a whisper, forehead pressed to Seungmin’s shoulder. "If I ask you not to leave again, will you stay?"

Seungmin closed his eyes, trying to overcome the ache in his chest that came with Jeongin asking him to stay.  _ Of course I’ll stay _ , he wanted to say.  _ I’d stay with you forever if you asked. I’d do anything for you _ .

"I’ll stay as long as you need me to," he said in the end, voice a little strained, ribs feeling as though they were cracking beneath the weight of unsaid words.  _ I love you _ , they said.  _ I love you, and I’ll do anything to make you happy. I wish you’d love me, too. _

"Ok," Jeongin murmured. He sounded almost defeated somehow, as though the conversation hadn’t gone the way he’d wanted it to, and Seungmin felt the loss of the warmth of his skin as he pulled away a little, breaking their embrace. How was he supposed to handle this? How was he supposed to stay here, adoring his best friend and the human they’d both grown to love, watching them love each other while he just  _ ached _ ?

But he’d said he would stay. He’d promised Jeongin that he would stay.

And stay he would.

* * *

He didn’t quite know how to speak to either of them over the next few days. Hyunjin seemed hesitant and oddly distant with him, making excuses when Seungmin offered to clean his wings, never reaching out to touch Seungmin’s hands or his hair as he had before. Jeongin, on the other hand, was infinitely more tactile than he had been, often resting his head on Seungmin’s shoulder or curling up against his side while he ate.

Both of them seemed nervous when he said he was going to stretch his wings, eyes widening in a way that sent a shock of guilt and self-disgust through Seungmin’s stomach. How had he left them? How had he  _ dared _ to abandon them like that? Even if his intentions had been good, even if he’d just wanted them to be happy, he had  _ hurt _ them.

And perhaps he’d been wrong about them, he thought as he flew out towards the forest, leaving Hyunjin perched on the roof to watch his flight. Since he returned, he hadn’t seen any hint of the romance he’d thought was there. If anything, Hyunjin was even more distant with Jeongin than he was with Seungmin, the silence between them jarring. They had laughed together, before; Hyunjin had always been the first to embrace Jeongin, to hurt alongside him when he needed it, to call him lovely and watch him blush.. But now… just silence. Seungmin didn’t know how much more of it he could bear.

But it continued all the same.

More and more, Jeongin spent his evenings outside with Felix. Seungmin would watch them, sometimes, when Hyunjin wouldn’t speak to him beyond one-word answers. They would simply wander up and down the street, Jeongin sticking close to Felix’s side, occasionally throwing his head back with laughter at something Felix said.  _ He doesn’t laugh like that with you anymore _ , he thought bitterly.  _ You ruined it. Whatever you had with him, it’s ruined _ .

He considered asking Hyunjin if they should leave. Both of them, this time. Jeongin was healing without them, learning to embrace the outside world again, and perhaps he no longer needed their support.  But Hyunjin would barely even speak to him now, shutting off most attempts at conversation in a way he never had before. How could Seungmin suggest that they leave together, return to the way things had been, when everything was so completely, utterly different?

He’d just wait, Seungmin decided. Wait until the strangeness between the three of them faded. Wait until he stopped feeling guilty. Wait until he fell out of love, and Hyunjin and Jeongin returned to the way they had been.

And then everything would be fine.

* * *

Jeongin seemed a little restless the next night, shifting around enough in bed that Seungmin couldn’t fall asleep. Perhaps he was afraid of nightmares again, Seungmin thought. Hyunjin had told him that things had gotten bad again once he’d left, Jeongin shutting down completely. Maybe he’d relapsed a little again.

Hyunjin, on the other hand, slept soundly through every shift of the mattress beneath him. Seungmin couldn’t help but find that a little funny, in a fond way.

"What’s wrong?" Seungmin murmured as Jeongin shifted again, going still at the sound of Seungmin’s voice.

"I thought you were asleep," he murmured, and Seungmin laughed softly.

"With you twitching around like that?"

"Sorry."

"It’s ok, Jeongin. Just tell me what’s wrong."

"I was just thinking about- about him." Seungmin didn’t have to ask who. "Do you think… that Woojin did it? Made him a soul?"

Seungmin thought for a moment. "Woojin wouldn’t have gone back on his word," he said eventually. "If he promised to make a soul, he would have made one. That person will be healed."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

Jeongin hesitated for a moment. "Ok," he said softly. "Thanks."

"Why are you worried about it?" Seungmin asked, reaching for his hand in the dark. He missed slightly at first, fingertips brushing the smooth skin of Jeongin’s wrist, and Jeongin twitched a little.

"No reason, really," Jeongin said softly, pressing gently on Seungmin’s knuckles with his fingertips. He was lying, Seungmin thought. He hadn’t ever lied to them before.

_ You’ve lied to him _ , a cruel little voice in his head whispered.  _ You’ve kept your secrets. Let him have his own. _

"Ok," he replied, squeezing Jeongin’s hand quickly. "As long as everything’s alright."

"It is," Jeongin told him, eyes shining in the faint light from Seungmin’s wings. "I promise."

Seungmin just did his best to smile, waiting for Jeongin to close his eyes before he followed suit. Sleep didn’t come easily, thoughts of soulless eyes and broken wings filling his mind, but little by little, he slipped away.

* * *

He was awoken by a strange light seeping in from under the door. It was white, whiter than any light Jeongin had in his flat, and it took Seungmin a moment to process that he was even awake and not simply dreaming.

"Seungmin?" Hyunjin whispered. He was sitting up in bed, features cast into strange and lovely shadows by the beam of light coming through the door. "Where’s Jeongin?"

It took Seungmin’s mind a moment to process that Jeongin wasn’t in bed with them. "I don’t know," he replied softly, and he watched as Hyunjin quietly got to his feet and opened the door just a crack, peering through. He turned back to Seungmin, eyes wide, beckoning him over.

Seungmin leaned close to him, peering through the opening, and felt a hand cover his mouth as he almost let out a gasp at what he saw.

Jeongin was standing at his kitchen table, eyes closed, palms over a bowl of water. And it was  _ shining _ . Light was dripping from Jeongin’s fingertips as they watched, gathering in the bowl; perhaps it wasn’t so bright as when Hyunjin or Seungmin scryed, perhaps the surface of the water trembled a little instead of lying still, but it was working. Jeongin was performing magic on his own.

"What do you think he’s looking for?" Hyunjin whispered, close to Seungmin’s ear.

"I don’t know," Seungmin admitted. They watched a while longer, Seungmin’s breath catching in his throat when Jeongin opened his eyes, the light from the bowl making them shine brighter than galaxies, every angle of his features caught by it.  _ He’s so beautiful _ , he couldn’t help thinking, heart tugging in his chest.  _ How is it fair that he’s so impossibly beautiful? _

Judging by the expression on Hyunjin’s face, he felt the same; Seungmin had never seen him so utterly enraptured, so adoring. No one had ever made Hyunjin look at them like that. Not even him.

"I’m going back to bed," he said softly, heart settling heavy and hollow in his chest, and Hyunjin turned to him, catching him in the afterglow of that expression for a moment. It felt like being bathed in light, and Seungmin wanted to cry.

"Good idea." He followed Seungmin back to the bed, and instead of curling up on the opposite side, leaving room for Jeongin to climb back in between them, he lay close to Seungmin’s side, arm around his waist and stroking the down at the base of his wings. He offered no explanation, and Seungmin didn’t question it; he simply tucked his head under Hyunjin’s chin, nose pressed against his neck, and let himself feel safe.

* * *

Jeongin was restless the next morning; he had been back in bed when Seungmin had awoken but hadn’t stayed long, choosing instead to make tea and stare at his phone, frowning.

"What are you looking at?" Hyunjin asked, playing with Seungmin’s hair absentmindedly. It was the most familiar motion the two of them had shared in a good while, and Seungmin was rather torn between pulling away and leaning into the sensation of Hyunjin's hand.

"A map," Jeongin replied. "I need to go somewhere today."

"With Felix?"

"No. I’m going by myself."

Hyunjin’s hand stilled in Seungmin’s hair. "By yourself?"

"Yeah," Jeongin said quietly, and his voice shook a little.

"Jeongin," Seungmin asked slowly. "Are you sure? I know you’ve been making a lot of progress with Felix, and we’re happy that you’re ready to take another step, but… are you sure?"

Jeongin offered him a slight smile, and Seungmin was suddenly overcome with a wave of affection for him; for his hair, messy from sleep, his eyes still blurred by it. It was an aspect of love he’d never quite considered, to see someone in their imperfect moments like this. He wondered, vaguely, how much more it would surprise him.

"I’m sure," Jeongin told him. "It’s not far, I promise."

"Ok," Seungmin murmured, and he heard Hyunjin make a faint, unhappy sound.

Jeongin didn’t leave until late that afternoon. Hyunjin and Seungmin sat on the roof as they watched him walk away until he disappeared around the corner.

"Do you think we should follow him?" Hyunjin asked softly, and Seungmin jolted a little at the sound of his voice. Aside from last night, this was the most Hyunjin had spoken to him in days, and Seungmin almost thought he’d choke on his own happiness.

"I- no," he managed to say. "I think we need to let him do this on his own."

"But what if something happens?" Hyunjin pressed. "What if he gets hurt again? He wouldn’t even tell me where he was going."

Seungmin’s heart sank. Of course that was the only reason Hyunjin was speaking to him. Out of concern for Jeongin. Not that Seungmin could blame him, of course. He understood. He wanted Jeongin safe, too.

"It’s daylight," he said hoarsely. "I think he’ll be fine." For a moment, Hyunjin didn’t reply, and Seungmin felt an overwhelming urge to leave his side, get away, be anywhere but sitting on that roof with his oldest friend who wouldn’t even speak to him. He got to his feet, meaning to drop down onto the balcony and back into Jeongin’s flat, but a hand closed around his wrist. He turned to see Hyunjin staring up at him, eyes wide and imploring and pained, lower lip trembling just a little.

"Don’t go," he said softly, and Seungmin felt as though his heart had just cracked in his chest.

"Why not?" he asked, sitting back down even as he said it. "It’s not like you’ll talk to me properly."

"I just- I don’t- I don’t know what to say."

"Why not?"

"Because you  _ left _ ," Hyunjin cried. "Because you left and I don’t know what I did wrong that made you go." The silence that followed his words was heavy, and for a moment, Seungmin didn’t think he knew how to break it.

"You did nothing wrong," he said eventually, and Hyunjin gave a hiccoughing sob.

"Then why did you just disappear? You’ve never- we’ve been friends since the beginning and you’ve never just-  _ left _ me like that. Never. In all that time."

"I needed to think about some things," Seungmin lied, and Hyunjin looked at him so sadly that he looked away, unable to stand the weight of it.

"What things? What would you think about that you wouldn’t talk to me about? We talk to each other about everything, Seungmin. We always have."

"Yeah, well," Seungmin said uncomfortably. "Not this."

"Why not?"

"Because it’s- it might stop you being happy," he said, avoiding Hyunjin’s eyes. "If you knew I was thinking about it."

"Do you think I’m happy  _ now?" _ Hyunjin shouted, and Seungmin winced at the volume of it as a flock of pigeons took startled flight from the neighbouring roof. "Do you think this is what I’m like when I’m happy, Seungmin? Because I’m not. I’m absolutely miserable. Because Jeongin thought you’d gotten sick of taking care of him and I was just confused and I couldn’t even try to reassure him because you’d never done that before! You’d never left me." He paused, sniffling and wiping his eyes. "I thought you’d never leave me."

"Hyunjin-"

"So if you thought you were trying to keep me happy by keeping secrets, it’s not working. I’m not going to be happy until I understand, Seungmin. I’m not."  Something about the petulance of his tone made Seungmin laugh just a little, and Hyunjin turned to him, puffy red eyes wide with shock. "Did you- did you just laugh at me?"

"Not- kind of?" Seungmin admitted, and he reached for Hyunjin’s hand before he could take offence. "I just- you just outright  _ refused _ to be happy. It’s a very- it’s very you. And I missed you. So it made me laugh. Because it’s just so  _ you _ ."

A smile slowly broke through Hyunjin’s tears then, watery and weak, and he laughed a little too. "Yeah," he said. "It sort of is." Carefully, he shuffled closer, resting his head hesitantly on Seungmin’s shoulder. "I missed you, too," he murmured, and Seungmin closed his eyes as though it would hold back the warmth in his chest. He loved Hyunjin so very much. So much it  _ hurt _ . He wasn’t sure how he’d gone so long without realising.

"Never go away again?" Hyunjin asked in a small voice, and Seungmin almost sobbed.

"Ok," he whispered, pressing his nose against Hyunjin’s hair for a moment. "I won’t ever go away again."

* * *

Jeongin came back around an hour later, collapsing through the door breathing hard, fear rolling off him in waves. "Seungmin?" he called, voice weak and shaking. "Hyunjin? Are you- I need you."

The two of them were by his side in an instant, Hyunjin holding him tight and Seungmin resting a palm on his back, trying to draw away his fear.

"It’s ok," Hyunjin whispered, rocking him slightly back and forth. "It’s ok. You’re with us. You’re safe."

"Did something happen?" Seungmin asked, and Hyunjin shot him a warning look. "Where did you go?"

Jeongin hesitated for a moment, avoiding either of their eyes. Seungmin watched as Hyunjin reached up to touch his jaw, gently tilting his head back up so that he could look him in the eye. The moment felt somehow too intimate for him to witness, and he looked away, letting his hand fall from Jeongin’s back.

"I went to see him," Jeongin whispered, and Seungmin froze. "The person who-" his hand flew to his throat, the fine silver line of scar tissue there.

"Jeongin- oh, Jeongin," Hyunjin murmured. "Why would you- we could have come with you, we could have found a way to-"

"He’s ok," Jeongin said softly. "He’s- he’s so different. And Woojin was there and he-"

"He’s fine?" Seungmin asked before Jeongin could continue. "Woojin. He’s well?"

"He held him," Jeongin continued distantly. "He held Chan like he loved him."

"Chan?" Hyunjin asked. "The man who kidnapped you? Woojin held him?" Jeongin didn’t reply, eyes shining with tears, and Hyunjin pulled him close again. "Ok. You don’t have to talk about it now. Ok."

Jeongin barely responded for the rest of the evening. Hyunjin had manoeuvred him to the sofa and was holding him gently, protectively, and Seungmin perched awkwardly on the arm until Jeongin reached for him.

"We should have made him tell us where he was going," Hyunjin whispered to him. "We should have gone with him. We could have looked after him, we could have-"

"We could have seen Woojin," Seungmin finished, and Hyunjin nodded slowly. "At least we know he’s ok. He’s alive. He’s being looked after."

"Mm," Hyunjin agreed vaguely. "Do you think it means anything? What Jeongin said about him and Chan?"

"I don’t know," Seungmin replied. He didn’t want to think about it. Didn’t want to consider the fact that Woojin might have fallen in love with a human too, might be staying here along with Hyunjin. The fact that he would lose them entirely, that nothing would ever be the same. It made him feel a little sick, and he felt the urge to pull away from the both again, disappear back to the mountain forests. " I’m going to bed," he said. It was as distant as he could get from them in this scenario.

Hyunjin glanced up at him in alarm. "But Jeongin- he wants you here, he needs you."

"He’s got you," Seungmin managed to say, not meeting Hyunjin’s eyes. "I just- I need a minute, ok?"

"Seungmin-"

"I won’t go again. I just need to be by myself for a moment."

"Ok," Hyunjin whispered, voice shaking a little, and Seungmin thought he might be crying. He didn’t look to check.

Collapsing face-down on Jeongin’s bed, Seungmin resisted the urge to scream. He’d never particularly had such an urge before, but he supposed he’d never been in a situation quite like this one. The relief at hearing that Woojin was healthy was pressing tight against the fear of being left behind, of being alone among angels he’d never understood how to connect with in the way he had with his best friends. But then again, he’d told Jeongin that he wouldn’t leave, hadn’t he? That he would never go back to Heaven. So perhaps he was bound to stay here, keep his wings and fly alone at night while his friends Fell and lived their lives as humans. Grew old, and turned to dust.

_ Unless Jeongin realises he doesn’t need me and tells me to leave, I’m here until he dies _ , he thought to himself, and the thought picked him slowly apart until he didn’t think he could move, cheek still pressed to the pillow, wings spread across the room.

"Seungmin?" he heard Hyunjin call frantically. "Seungmin, come in here- he thinks you’ve gone,  _ Seungmin _ -"

"I’m here," he called, voice hoarse and fainter than he had expected. "I’m here, Jeongin. It’s ok."

"Seungmin," Hyunjin called again; he was speaking louder now, over the sound of Jeongin sobbing. "Seungmin,  _ please _ ."

With a sigh, Seungmin pushed himself upright, doing his best to ignore the weight in his chest. Jeongin curled into him as soon as he sat down on the sofa, asking him in a tearful murmur not to go, not to leave. Seungmin closed his eyes as though it would block him out, resting his cheek on Jeongin’s hair.

"I’m not going anywhere," he said heavily. "I promise, Jeongin."  _ No matter how much I want to fly away from all of this. Go somewhere I don’t know anyone or anything, and forget that all of this has passed.  _ "I'm not going anywhere."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The final chapter! Of both this story, and to fly and to fall as a whole.
> 
> Thank you so much to anyone who's stuck with this series the whole way through; it's the longest thing I've ever written, and probably one of the most complicated, but it turned out to be something I'm really proud of! So, thank you for reading, and for leaving comments and kudos, because it really means a lot.
> 
> I'll be back with more stories soon; I hope we'll see each other again then <3

For Seungmin, the next few days passed in something of a blur; he managed to maintain a conversation if Hyunjin or Jeongin started one, doing his best to laugh along with them. But it was hard, the weight in his chest pressing him slowly into silence, and more than once he caught his friends exchanging worried glances at his lack of engagement.

_ It’s hard for me _ , he wanted to tell them.  _ It’s hard to be a part of this when I know it’ll end in me leaving or getting left behind.  _ He wasn’t sure why the urge to say it was so strong. Hyunjin seemed to be experiencing it too, blurting out sentences he didn’t seem to have expected, eyes wide with surprise once he’d said them.

"You matter more than anything to me," he’d said to Jeongin. "Well, almost anything." And Jeongin had blushed, and laughed slightly at Hyunjin’s expression of shock at having said something so honest. So pure and true. Seungmin had just turned away.

Jeongin, in that time, appeared to reach a more stable point with his condition; the nightmares persisted, as did the occasional flashback to those darker times, but they were at least consistent. There were no more sudden relapses, no more nights spent entirely sleepless. He took more walks with Felix, only ever going up and down the street. He didn’t go out on his own again, and for that, Seungmin was immeasurably grateful.

Despite his attempts to avoid being alone with either of them, Jeongin managed to corner Seungmin while Hyunjin slept. He sat down beside him on the sofa, reaching to touch his wing softly, and Seungmin did his best to smile.

"You’re not happy, are you?" Jeongin asked softly, fingertips running gently over the bone.

"No," Seungmin said without thinking. "I’m not." It wasn’t a response he’d intended to give. He’d wanted to lie, wanted to tell Jeongin that everything was fine.

"Do you… do you want to leave again?" Jeongin’s voice was small in the quiet and just a little pained, and Seungmin wanted more than anything to hold him close until he forgot he’d ever asked.

"I don’t know," Seungmin whispered. "I should. I should leave."

Hyunjin stirred then, reaching out in his sleep as he often did. Jeongin turned, taking his hand, and Seungmin took the opportunity to get to his feet, heading for the window. "I’ll be back in ten minutes," he promised, and he was gone before Jeongin could say another word.

* * *

Late that night, Seungmin was still awake, staring vaguely at the ceiling. It was just the two of them in Jeongin’s bed tonight, Hyunjin still stretched out across the sofa, and Seungmin didn’t quite know what to do with the way the setting felt somehow more intimate. It was like he was more aware of every millimetre of Jeongin’s skin that brushed his own; and every time he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, his mind circled back to the way Jeongin had looked at him when they spoke of the future, eyes heavy with some kind of longing Seungmin couldn’t bear to misread.

"Seungmin?" he heard Jeongin whisper. "Are you awake?"

"I am," he said softly, and shielded his eyes as Jeongin clicked on the bedside lamp. "Is everything-"

"Did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what?"

"When you said you should leave."

"Yes," Seungmin said without thinking. "Yes, I meant it." Jeongin’s face fell, and Seungmin watched, heart aching, as he did his best to contain it, expression struggling back to neutral.

"Why are you still here, then?" Jeongin asked. "If you want to leave."

"That isn’t what I said. I didn’t- I don’t want to leave."

Jeongin frowned at him. "You should leave, but you don’t want to?"

"Yes."

"If you don’t want to leave- if it makes you happy to stay here, Seungmin, then why should you-"

"Because I know that Hyunjin’s in love with you," Seungmin blurted out. "And I think you love him, too. So I should go. I should let you be alone. I tried to, but Hyunjin brought me back."

For a long moment, Jeongin said nothing, and Seungmin frantically tried to think of a way to take back what he’d said, pretend he’d never told the truth as the inches seemed to stretch into metres of distance between them in Jeongin’s silence.

"You… that’s why you left?" Jeongin asked slowly. "Because you thought… that there was something going on? That we wouldn’t want you around if we were together?"

Seungmin turned away a little, avoiding Jeongin’s eyes. He couldn’t look at Jeongin while he said this. He just couldn’t. " Because I’m in love with you," he said quietly. "And I couldn’t- if you two were together and neither of you wanted me- I couldn’t do that, Jeongin. I couldn’t be here if you and Hyunjin loved each other and not me."

For a long, long moment, Jeongin didn’t say anything. Seungmin still refused to look at him, wondering what on earth had prompted him to confess; he hadn’t been going to say anything, had been going to hold it in for as long as Hyunjin and Jeongin needed, had been going to leave-

He heard the duvet rustling as it shifted, and a moment later, Jeongin’s fingertips brushed his cheek. "Seungmin," he said softly. "Look at me." Slowly, Seungmin lifted his head.

Jeongin was closer than he had expected, nose barely an inch from Seungmin’s own, but the hand on his cheek prevented him from looking away again. Not that Seungmin thought he could. Not when Jeongin’s eyes were so lovely up close, shining like the lights of this human city he’d found himself so stuck in, heart clinging to it with all the desperation of the sun holding tight to the horizon.

"You’re so stupid," Jeongin whispered, smiling slightly, and Seungmin didn’t have time to process how Jeongin could insult him so fondly before the sensation of Jeongin’s lips against his own overwhelmed his mind completely.

It wasn’t a long kiss; Seungmin didn’t quite know how to approach it, how to react when Jeongin’s lips moved against his own, and Jeongin pulled back too quickly, eyes wide with worry that he’d done something wrong.

"Do that again," Seungmin asked before Jeongin could voice his doubts, too lost in the blush of happiness he could feel blooming to ask questions about what had just happened. "Please, can you- kiss me again."

And Jeongin leaned in, kissing him softly, Seungmin kissing him back as best he knew how until he felt Jeongin begin to pull back again. "I love you," Jeongin told him quietly, and Seungmin didn’t think he could breathe beneath the weight of the joy in his chest; it filled up every space in him and left him speechless, and Jeongin shielded his eyes against the luminescence of his wings until Seungmin could control it. "You’re- you were right. About Hyunjin. I love him, too, I really do, but I-"

"You love both of us," Seungmin finished for him, and as Jeongin nodded slowly he felt so incredibly, monumentally foolish for ever leaving at all. Jeongin loved him. Jeongin had loved him the whole time; every moment between them, every time Jeongin had looked at him with such sweetness, had been  _ love _ .

"Do you- you said you wanted both of us to love you," Jeongin said hesitantly. "Did you mean- are you saying that you-?"

"Love Hyunjin?" Seungmin finished, and Jeongin nodded slightly. "I do. I think I’ve always loved him," he admitted. "But you… you showed me how. I don’t think I would have ever realised if not for you." Jeongin laughed softly, and Seungmin’s chest ached with just how much he loved the sound. Now that he’d admitted his affection and knew that it was returned, he didn’t think he could bear it. "You saw it from the start, didn’t you?" he asked. "That he and I…"

Jeongin shrugged. "Sort of. I saw that you acted the way humans do when they’re in love. I just supposed once you’d explained that it was different for angels."

"It’s not," Seungmin said quietly. "Not really. Affection is affection, mortal or not. We just don’t have romantic relationships." He hesitated. "I suppose we do, now. If Hyunjin feels the same."

"He does," Jeongin told him, and the strength of the certainty in his voice had Seungmin raising his eyebrows in surprise. Jeongin flushed a little. "I was sort of- Chan runs an occult shop. I didn’t know until I went to see him, and then I thought I could... he gave me something to encourage us all to be honest. And Hyunjin’s never told me he loves you in those exact words, but… he said that he thought he was meant for you. That you two were destined for each other, somehow."

"And for you, I think," Seungmin told him, and he caught sight of the faintest reflection of his wings in Jeongin’s eyes before Jeongin was kissing him again. Seungmin wound his fingers into Jeongin’s hair, holding him close against him, and let himself marvel at the fact that this was happening at all.

The creak of the door interrupted them, along with the sound of Hyunjin’s voice. "Hey, are you ok? I saw the light and I-" he broke off, and Seungmin and Jeongin pulled apart, not fast enough, not soon enough for Hyunjin to miss just how close they had been. For a moment, he was silent, eyes wide and confused and finally settling into understanding. Before either of them could speak, he was gone.

"Hyunjin!" Seungmin called, but he could already hear the sound of the window opening, night air gusting through the flat. "I’ll go and get him."

"Ok," Jeongin agreed. He looked a little guilty, and Seungmin leaned in for just a moment, pressing another soft kiss to his lips in hopes of alleviating it before he ran into the living room and followed Hyunjin out into the night.

"Hyunjin!" he called into the rain, scrambling up to the roof. "Hyunjin! Please come back and listen." There was no reply, and for a moment Seungmin thought he’d disappeared off towards the forest as Seungmin had.

But there, on the roof across the street, was a flash of white amidst the grey. Wings, shining in the dark.

Seungmin glided gently over the wide street, landing lightly beside Hyunjin on the flat roof of the opposite building. "Hyunjin. Come here." Hyunjin didn’t respond when Seungmin wrapped his arms around him, cold, rain-slicked skin pressed against his own. "Hyunjin? Talk to me."

He was crying, Seungmin realised, silent tears that shook him and wrenched from his lungs with alarming force. "Hyunjin. Listen to me. Just… listen, ok? It’s not what you think."

" You were  _ kissing him _ ," Hyunjin almost spat. There wasn’t bitterness in the words, not really; just grief, desperate and hopeless. "It’s exactly what I think."

"It isn’t. Well, it is. Just promise you’ll listen."

Hyunjin sniffled, apparently realising that Seungmin wasn’t going to let him go easily. "...Fine."

"Nothing happened between Jeongin and I before tonight," Seungmin said emphatically, hoping Hyunjin would believe him. "I thought… I never thought it would. I thought he was in love with you. I thought the two of you were going to be together." Hyunjin sobbed, and Seungmin cursed himself for phrasing it so poorly. "I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I thought you were going to be together  _ without me _ ." He paused, slowly releasing Hyunjin so that he could wipe the rain from his eyes. "I love you," he continued after a moment. "I love you, Hyunjin. And Jeongin loves you, too. He spent all this time trying to figure out if we were in love because he wanted to know if he could let himself love us, Hyunjin."

The rain filled the silence between them, the late-summer warmth of it soaking them both. Seungmin rather wished that this was a conversation they could have indoors. "You love me?" Hyunjin asked eventually. "You… you’re  _ in _ love with me?"

"Yes," Seungmin told him, reaching out his hand for Hyunjin to take. "I’m sorry it’s taken me so many centuries to notice."

"And he… he fell in love with both of us?"

"He did. You love him too, don’t you?"

"How could I not love him?" Hyunjin asked softly, and Seungmin thought that there, in the rain, hope rising in his eyes, Hyunjin had never looked more beautiful.

"I think I want to kiss you," he admitted, ignoring the fact that Hyunjin hadn’t actually confirmed that he felt the same; he trusted Jeongin’s judgement here, Seungmin decided. Trusted his own gut instincts.

Hyunjin’s eyes widened as he leaned a little closer. "Do it, then," he said, voice hoarse with cold and fading tears.

"I’m not sure I know how. Not properly, anyway. Jeongin was sort of leading."

"I don’t care," Hyunjin told him, and Seungmin leaned in and pressed his mouth to Hyunjin’s, doing his best to emulate the way Jeongin had kissed him before, shivering as Hyunjin drew close enough to him that their skin touched.

"I love you," Seungmin whispered against his cheek as he pulled away, and Hyunjin was crying again before he could even reply. "Come on. We need to get back to Jeongin, he’ll be worried."

"Wait- before we go back." Hyunjin leaned down again, kissing Seungmin a little awkwardly, a little unsure. "I love you, too," he said against Seungmin’s mouth, and Seungmin was sure that Hyunjin could feel him smiling.

Jeongin was pacing behind the sofa when they arrived back, eyes widening at the sight of Hyunjin. He crossed the room and pulled him close before Hyunjin could even apologise for leaving, the rain on Hyunjin’s skin soaking through the well-worn fabric of his t-shirt. Seungmin watched as Hyunjin shifted in Jeongin’s arms, tentatively leaning in and hoping that Jeongin understood what he was asking for; he did, holding Hyunjin’s face in his hands as he kissed him slowly, breaking away once he started laughing with sheer joy. Hyunjin followed soon after, wiping away the remnants of his tears and the rain as he broke into a smile, eyes forming crescents in the way Seungmin had always loved so dearly. Seungmin was pulled into a hug before he could initiate one, Jeongin’s arm wrapped tight his waist and Hyunjin’s over his shoulder, their foreheads pressed together, the space between them filled with their laughter.  _ Tria prima _ , Seungmin thought to himself as he held them both close, revelling in the warmth of them.  _ The three of us, made whole. _

"What happens now?" Jeongin asked once they’d calmed down a little, curled up on the sofa as usual. "Do you stay? Can you stay?"

"We stay," Hyunjin confirmed softly. "I’m not going anywhere, at least."

"Me neither," Seungmin promised, and Jeongin beamed, looking almost as though he might cry.

"Can you stay forever?" he asked, and Hyunjin and Seungmin exchanged a glance.

"We could," Seungmin told him. "But that’s not something to talk about right now, I don’t think. Not because we don’t think we’ll want to stay forever, just because it’s… complicated."

"Ok," Jeongin said curiously. "But you’ll tell me, right?"

"We could Fall," Hyunjin explained quietly. "But Seungmin’s right, it’s not really something we need to talk about right now. Not when this is so new. But I think I speak for both of us when I say that we love you, Jeongin. We don’t want to go anywhere."

"He’s right," Seungmin agreed. "I’ll stay with you as long as you want me to."

"I’ll always want you to," Jeongin told him, and Seungmin’s heart swelled to bursting in his chest as Jeongin leaned in and kissed him.

"I’m sorry, you were kissing him when I walked in on you," Hyunjin complained. "Neither of you have kissed me enough. I’m owed kisses."

Jeongin pulled back, laughing, and Seungmin shifted across him to pepper Hyunjin’s cheek with kisses, Jeongin copying him on the other side until Hyunjin was laughing so hard he didn’t seem to be able to breathe. "Oh, I love you," he gasped out once he’d caught his breath. "I love you both so,  _ so _ much."

"I love you, too," Seungmin replied, and for a moment, the weight of the statement hit him with full force. He loved Hyunjin. Centuries of friendship, of meaning more to each other than anyone else, and he could now say out loud that he  _ loved _ Hyunjin.

And Jeongin; bright and brave and lovely, teaching Seungmin to feel with a depth that he never had before, showing him over and over that the things humans had made for themselves were lovely, were vessels for emotions strong enough that they could never quite be contained. Seungmin loved him.

It was a wonder, Seungmin thought as he listened to Hyunjin insist that he deserved  _ proper _ kisses, that he had ever thought that angels couldn’t love. Love had been the thing that held him and Hyunjin together for all those endless years, binding them even closer now that they’d found someone else to share it with. And as he watched Jeongin stop teasing Hyunjin, leaning in to kiss him in earnest, Seungmin decided that he’d never been more glad of something changing; to learn to love in such a way as he loved the two of them had been more than he’d ever thought he was capable of, new branches forming in a heart he’d thought was long since grown to completion.

Perhaps he would grow more, he thought, with the two of them beside him. See what new blooms would form when summer came around again.

He hoped so. More than anything, he hoped so.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see more of my work, and some of the thought processes behind it, come and say hi on my shiny new (very green) tumblr! You can find me under nettlestingsoup just like you can here, and I'll be posting about stray kids, writing, and maybe the odd snippet of unpublished AUs or hints as to what I'll be posting next. I hope to see you there! <3


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